Un-breaking Scarlet

Tobias

SCARLET

"So, Tobias left you a few personal possessions. Some investment money. And, the suicide note." My body tensed beside Andy. His hand rubbed my abdomen, tightening his grip.

"That's all that I want. We can discuss the rest later." The lawyer nodded, then handed me a piece of loose leaf paper. It was folded up, white my name writing in the front. I recognized the lettering as Tobias's handwriting.

"I'll leave you two too it. I the memorial service is tomorrow at 11. Thank you for your time." The man left.

I didn't know if I even wanted to read it. What secrets did my brother hold in his final moments?

"Do you want me to read it first?" Andy asked. I messed and handed him the paper. It was fairly heavy, meaning there was more then one page. I keep staring strait ahead.

After a few minutes, I turned to Andy. His face was frozen with a look of horror. "An-Andy?" I squeaked, petrified. Without saying a word, he handed me the note,
and pulled me in his arms.

Slowly, I read.

"Dear Scarlet,
I know that after I do this, you won't forgive me. Hell, I wouldn't. But please, babes, know that it has to be done.
I'm so fucking sick of this world. You know this. After all the things I've done, the happiness I have worked so hard for, they still come back to ruin it.
You, the sweetest, nicest, and strongest person I know, even you can't escape the terrible grip of hell fire. As children, I did everything I could to keep you from Mom and Dad's verbal abuse. Even then, I couldn't help you. You were perfect! I don't know how they could have hated you! I couldn't even envy you! Yet, despite all of our efforts to please them, they still regret ever giving birth to us.
Oh well, fuck them. We get to be who we are. And I'm glad they disowned me. But, apparently they don't understand the topic.
I'm so fucking tired. I really can't go on. I'm also terrified, because I found out that Michael had left NY. I didn't know if you were ok or not, and the guilt of not contacting you ate away at me to where I didn't even want to speak, I was just ashamed.
But seeing you on the news, it brought me one last shed of happiness. And then my boyfriend proposed. You two are the only people that matter in my life.
For the past 8 months, Walter and Claire have been blackmailing me. They said that if I didn't return to Maine and marry the daughter of some CEO for the business benefit, they would remove you from the will and tell Michael where you are. And I can't fucking take it.
I'm so fucking tired, baby.
I don't want to fight.
I don't want to be strong.
I just want to be able to rest, to sleep.
And never wake up.
And I'm so fucking sorry.
I'm leaving you, and my fiancé. I'm the only family you have, but you don't deserve me.
Please, Scarlet, try. Try harder than I am, and keep going. Fall in love with Andy, get married, and have 1,000 boys and two baby girls. Just, make something of yourself that you won't despise every time you look in the mirror.
I don't want to fix my problems, I just want to leave.
Please, don't try and stop me. It would make me happy if you would move on after I die.
Please, baby girl.
Just."

The amount of tear stains and pen blotches towards the end made the last words difficult to read. I was guessing he was telling me that he loved me.

I was at a loss for words.

What the fuck was I suppose to say? I just found out that the people who fucked each other and created us had blackmailed my own brother and essentially pushed him to suicide, all because they wanted money? And they got to him through me?

I looked to the other papers. They were all emails from my "parents," to Tobias, all filled with disgusting threats.

He hated himself, but he didn't do this out of selfishness. He did it because he wasn't strong enough.

I didn't realize that the tears were streaming down my face ferociously until Andy wiped them away. His sleeves were practically drenched.

We sat there for a good hour, just crying. Finally, Andy spoke up. "We need to go to the police. I'm pretty sure what they did was illegal," he said quietly. I nodded.

I looked back down at the printed out emails, thanking Tobias for leaving me this. I read them through in chronological order. First, they said they needed him back in Maine because they had arranged for him to marry the daughter of a shipping mogul, in hopes to join the countries. This was possibly the stupid part. He was gay! Why the hell would they think he would go through with it. When he said no, they brought up the threats. All of them were to me.

First, there was taking me out of the will. I didn't even know I was still in it. Apparently, I would revive the estate and the fortune, and the business. They even included the vacation homes.

Once again, he returned their email with a hesitant no, and telling them to leave me out of the situation.

Then, those bastards brought in Michael. Apparently, they contacted him and we're going to give him my new address. That was three months ago, meaning Tobi was thinking.

Then he killed himself.

I hate to say it, but I could see why. He felt trapped. They took away his right to control his own life, and he was already in love. He had a boyfriend, meaning that in order for him to marry the girl, he would have to leave James. And that would kill him.

We walked out, me tripping a few times, leaving Andy to practically carry me. We went directly to the lawyer, showing him the papers. He said he would notify someone, made photocopies of all the papers, and let us keep the originals.

Waking out of the firm, Andy hailed a cab to take us back to the hotel. He bucked me so that I was in the same seat as him. Dangerous, but just what I needed.

We arrived at the hotel and when strait to the room. Everyone was there, wanting to know what happened. I put the papers on the table and ran to the bathroom.

I shut the door and hovered over the sink, afraid I would vomit. But the bile that rested in my throat never surfaced. I heaved and pushed, but nothing. "Fuck!" I grunted.

Someone knocked, but proceeded in anyways. It was Andy. He came over to me, pulled me away from the sink, and let me cry in his arms.

ANDY

She was a mess. We sat against the wall, her frail body engulfed in my arms. Her face was red and blotchy with tears.

There was so much crying. So much pain in these past few days, that it seemed it would never end. I understood that she would need time to recover, but I didn't know how much.

When my grandfather died, I was horribly sad for a good 5 months. Then, I realized that I could be emo and not always mopey. It didn't have to be that way. But after all, it had only been a few days. She has every right to be sad.

"They practically killed him," she mumbled.