Save Me

35. Look At Me

Molly was feeling the undeniable pull of Negan being back at Alexandria. She knew she would have to face him eventually, but would that mean the end of all those happy memories she held so dear?

It had been a couple of weeks since I came home and with each passing day, I felt myself lured closer and closer to where Negan was.

It was almost uncontrollable.

He infiltrated my mind to a point where sometimes I forgot what I was doing and just knowing where he was and how close he was sent shivers down my spine.

After all, there was a fine line between love and hate.

I had sworn to Maggie that I wouldn't even go near him and I hadn't planned to until I found myself constantly pondering over his picture in my locket.

Did he do that to manipulate or torment me?

Was he genuine?

Was our entire relationship genuine?

I had so many questions which I was denied answers to.

It was driving me crazy and people started to notice.

Maybe it was because I was physically closer to him now being back at Alexandria, or maybe I hadn't allowed myself to think about these things because I was always around Tara and Maggie.

As much as I wanted to obey Maggie's wishes, I had to do this for me.

Besides, she kept the whole ordeal with the Saviours from me.

Michonne and I were chatting away happily, strolling around the crop fields and admiring everyone's handy work when my mind started to shift focus back to Negan as I mindlessly played with the locket in my hands.

Michonne's voice seemed to drown out as my thoughts overrode my hearing until she brought me back to the present.

'Molly?' she asked stopping me with her arm.

I looked at her, both alert and dazed, saying 'I-I'm sorry Mich, I have to go do something' as I tried to move past her.

'Wait, Molly...' she said hesitantly as she held me in place, her hands on my arms.

'You need to know something...I thought I was protecting you' she said quietly as I stood there my brows furrowed in confusion as I just listened silently.

She sighed before she said it.

'Negan lied. I-I thought I was doing right by you. I just wanted you to be able to move on...without his influence' she said softly.

I knew exactly what she was referring to, the fact that he didn't love me.

He lied.

I scowled as I said 'what did you just say?' as my eyes filled with tears.

'I'm sorry, but what does it matter? He's still the same monster who hurt all of us...' she continued as I shot her a look of warning.

'Stop' I said angrily.

She was about to speak as I ran but instead just shrugged it off and carried on walking.

I sprinted, my head now clear as ever.

I swerved past people and made a B-line for Negan's cell which was down a few steps and situated underneath Rick and Michonne's house.

People looked at me worriedly but I barely noticed them.

I had to see him, it was my time.

I practically hopped down the steps before I was stopped by an ex-Saviour who blocked my path to the door.