Save Me

38. Redemption

This was a time of healing and growth for everyone, including Negan. Molly had always known him to be a good man inside, but would he be able to show the others?

Two months later...

'You were right...' Rick said softly as he held my hand.

'I should have listened to you, I guess I just couldn't until now' he continued.

I just nodded and smiled, 'are you sure about this?' I asked nervously.

He let go of my hand as he placed both on my shoulders.

'Yes and you will lead them' he said proudly.

He started to walk away, back across the streets of Alexandria when I shouted after him, 'me?'

'The Sanctuary needs a strong leader Molly, if we're gonna do this right' he replied as he smiled softly and went towards the gates.

I just stood stock still and watched him as he walked away.

Was I ready for this?

I felt honoured that he trusted me in that way, especially considering that the majority of those moving to the Sanctuary would be ex-Saviours.

Yet, I was unsure, I hadn't been back there in years and I had no idea how it would feel.

I had suppressed old memories, the bad ones, for so long but when I go to the Sanctuary, I know I will be forced to face them.

But, I had to do this, for Rick, for Carl and his dream, for myself and even for Negan.

I thought about how he would feel about all this.

I knew he would heartbroken, to see another leader in his former home but I hoped that he would find some solace in the fact that he trusted me and knows how much I valued that place.

I told Rick that I would consider it, which upset him slightly knowing that I might not give him the answer that he wanted and needed for enacting Carl's vision.

But I had to be honest with him and myself about who I was.

I had always thought myself brave and confident but after everything these past years, I'm not sure that I'm the same person anymore and as much as I wanted to lead that place.

I knew in my heart that I just wasn't ready.

It wasn't about Negan or the Saviours that made me decline Rick's offer, it was about me and what happened to me there.

Still to this day, only Negan, Aaron and Tara knew and I wanted to tell Rick but I knew in my heart that if he found out, he would go straight for Negan and blame him.

So, I couldn't tell him but I knew he would want an explanation so I told him I would lead eventually, but right now we needed to focus on what we already have, not what will eventually come in a few years time.

Now, looking back, I wish I had told Rick everything...

The day of reckoning came.

There was a hoard of walkers, larger and more vast than we'd ever seen before.

They were heading straight for Alexandria and their sheer force and numbers alone would wipe out us all, so we had to create a diversion.

We all split up and tried different tactics, blasted music from our trucks, set off explosions, set up reflective objects.

None of them worked well enough.

We killed many of them and were heading back towards the bridge to recuperate when we saw him.