Love.That One Word.

Chapter 48- Jeoana

"Nabagok ata ulo mo kaya inaya mo ako noh?" Tanong ko kay Dan habang naglalakad kami. Ewan ko rin kung saan kami pupunta, ganito ba ang salita ng date sa kanya? Pssssh ano ulit siya? Romantic Prince?

Romantic Prince my ass.

Tumawa naman siya sa tabi ko, "wala naman akong choice eh."

I look at him. Ganun? Kung iwanan ko kaya siya dito? "Hey, I'm just joking. Naasar ka naman agad." At ginalaw niya ang kilay kong magkatagpo. When I look at his eyes biglang pumasok sa isip ko kung anong magiging kinabukasan namin ni Daniel. He doesn't love me so anong future namin paglipas ng mga taon? Magkakapamilya ba kami or hanggang ganito kami lang puro biro at asaran bilang magkaibigan.

And I can clearly remember na sinabi niyang may mahal siyang iba when I confessed to him before. And I can't stop thinking kung masaya ba si Daniel sa sitwasyon namin kahit na he can't pursue the love of his life.

"What are you thinking Joh?"

Umiling naman ako at muling nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

"Common tell me, I know when something's bothering you."

"Wala naman talaga eh..." but he suddenly grabbed my hand at hinila tapos pinaupo niya ako sa malapit na bench.

"Now tell me..." napakamot ako sa ulo ko. Haist, ang hirap talagang maglihim sa kanya kasi kilalang kilala  niya ako. Pero the point is sasabihin ko ba sa kanya? Last time i denied my feelings to him and we cleared everything between us that we should stayed as friends. But when that incident happen it actually changes my perception in life. Akala ko talaga mamamatay na ako noon and when I open my eyes, I realized that life is unpredictable at habang maaga pa live your life the way you wanted and honor those you love kasi hindi mo alam kung kailan mo ulit sila makikita. I always think of that every night. Madami rin akong mga what if. Na what if hindi ako nakasurvived? Anong mangyayari o mararamdaman ni Dan?

"Hey, just open that to me. Makikinig naman ako.." I look at him directly in his eyes.

"Anong satingin mo ang magiging kinabukasan natin sa marriage natin..." Kumunot naman ang noo niya.

"Yan ang iniisip mo?" Tanong niya. Tumango ako bilang sagot. "Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam."

"Ako rin...I don't know what will happen to us in the future but one thing is for sure true happiness. We should go for it diba?"

Mas lalo naman niya akong kinunutan ng noo, "what do you mean exactly?"

"I know nagegets mo ako Dan, arranged marriage lang tayo. May mahal kang iba and because of this marriage you can't pursue her. Marami akong narealized noong nasa hospital ako. That we only lived once, pursue her or you'll gonna regret it for the rest of your life." He look at me intently.

"Then answer my question truthfully...Mahal mo pa ba ako?"

Aaaisst what's with his mahal mo pa ba ako question again?! Bakit iyon lagi ang tinatanong niya. Bakit hindi nalang siya mag agree agad sa sinabi ko? Freedom na niya iyon aarte pa ba siya?

"The truth Joh, I want the truth.."

"Bakit pa? Wala rin namㅡ"

"Just answer me."

Napabuntong hininga ako sa harapan niya. "Oo but don't worry I don't really expect anything more between us anymore. I can manage myself naman after our annulment at don't stay on this marriage kung naaawa ka lang sa akin or because of guilㅡ" pinatigil niya ako sa pagsasalita gamit nang isang daliri niya.

"Then I'll pursue her...the love of my life." Kahit na nasaktan ako sa sinabi niya ay nginitian ko siya. At least he made his choice. Magiging masaya na siya and for me, I can really manage myself. Ang plano ko nga after graduation ay mag to tour ako around the world.