My Rock

Thirty One

Home has never been better, I must say. I feel great now that I'm home and able to smell the fresh east coast air. My train ride flew by and my plane ride was okay too. It was worth it to see my mom and sister Kim holding up a sign saying 'welcome home'. I smiled and had to resist myself from jumping into their arms. My sister hasn't really seen me pregnant in person yet and she's shocked that I'm the size that I am.

We drove home down the familiar roads to my house. Snow was everywhere and I didn't even mind it. I saw the Crosby's car outside of my house, which I figured would be there when I got back. I got out of the car and helped up the stairs by my mom while my sister took my bag and walked to the door. When I opened it, Sidney's family dog Sam leaped up at me like she has always done. Troy realized what was about to happen and yanked her back by the collar.

"That dog is not gonna hurt my grandchild!" my dad smiled, giving me a huge hug. We exchanged a few words and got my winter clothes off, then I went in to see the Crosby's.

"Look at you!" Trina laughed, clearly noticing how big I am now. "Oh look how active the baby is!" she said, putting her hands on my belly. Quite frankly, I know she and my mom wouldn't ask to touch it, they 'earned the right to' as they tell me.

"Oh it knows when to put on the cuteness. Right baby? You sayin' hi to your grandparents?"

"It better!" She plopped down in her favourite chair in the house.

Troy sat in the other arm chair, opposite of the one my dad likes to sit in, and Kim and Taylor were on the floor leaving my mom and I on the couch. "By the way, what do you guys want to be called when the baby comes?"

"Grandma! I call being a grandma!" Trina yelled, putting her hands up.

"You couldn't have answered that quick enough could you?" Troy joked.

"Well, we both discussed it and we called our grandma names!" she laughed. "I'm gonna be grandma and she's gonna be a nanny!"

"Then what does that make me?"

"You have tons of time to pick Troy, we are in no rush," I rubbed my belly.

"Why won't you find out the sex of the baby?" Taylor asked.

"We wanna keep it a surprise. Though Sidney thinks it's a boy."

"Based on the way you're carrying I don't know what to think," my mom said.

"When I was having Sidney I didn't drop down until his bum started to drop-"

"Ew! Why are you talking about this stuff in front of me!?" Taylor joked.

"You're doing the same thing Sidney did when we talked about this a while ago!" I laughed.

"Oh he was not impressed that day," Trina laughed.

"Like sister like brother!" I laughed.

We had a great time connecting again and getting caught up. A lot has changed since I left, and now I know what Sid means when he says he comes back and it's as if he had died and come back to life. So many things change and you feel like you know nothing of it, and you wish you were there to experience things or know what people are talking about.

I was pleasantly surprised when they took me upstairs to one of the extra bedrooms in our house and there was a mini baby's room set up. The walls were yellow and peaceful, and there was just a single crib and a changing table, arm chair and bookshelf. This used to be a small guest room and now it's my baby's very own bedroom in the house.

"We set up a house incase you ever needed to come here when you have the baby. I know it's not much but we want you to feel comfortable when you come over with it, and we want you to know there's always room for you guys," My mom said, as a tear fell down my face.

"Oh my God, you guys didn't need to do this!" I cried, wiping my eyes. Both our families were crowded in the room and has precious smiles on their faces.

"Yes we did. We really want you to feel comfortable here with the baby."

"And we set one up at our place too incase you guys need it as well. It's not much but it's something," Trina smiled.

"You guys didn't need to do this for us, honestly," I pleaded.

"We wanted to."

"You guys are too much, thank you guys so much. I love you," I hugged everyone in a huge group hug.

"For the record we picked out all the stuffed animals and the cute stuff in the rooms," Kim spoke up.

"Thanks Kimmie. I'm just gonna call Sid to let him know really quickly."

"We'll give you some privacy. We'll be talking to him later anyway," Troy said.

I dialed the number and waited patiently for him to pick up. I knew he was about to leave for a game any minute and I hoped I'd catch him in time.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Hey baby! Are you crying? What's wrong?"

"I'm at my parents house and they put a mini nursery together for us at both of their houses and it's really sweet!"

"Aw that's great! Why are you crying?"

"Cuz it's so cute!"

"Aw, you don't need to cry about it!"

"You know how I am! Don't judge! What are you doing?"

"Trying to get into my suite before I get to the arena. I miss you not being here to get me ready."

"I know, I miss it too! I layed out all of the dress shirts I knew you'd want to wear and the ties that go with them all on the bed in my old room."

"I saw that. I appreciate it."

"No problem."

"I hate to have to go but I really need to," he said with such sadness in his voice.

"I know. Good luck tonight, play hard!"

"Thanks I will. Have fun with the family."

"I will! The baby says goodbye too!"

"Bye baby! And bye babe," he blew me a kiss through the phone, making me melt.

"Bye." I hung up the phone, holding back tears. This is so hard but it's so worth it.

As a tradition we were watching Sidney's game. We always make an effort to still get together and watch him play, just like we did when he first started playing. Literally, we would be there every sunday morning to watch at 6:30, and I would love it. I couldn't play hockey for my life, but I could watch him for hours. What's really cool for me is to say that I've been seeing him play for years and I've watched him grow as an athlete from day one.

The game was almost over when Sid took a nasty check. He was escorted to the dressing room to get looked at. "I don't like the looks of that," my dad said, taking a swig of his beer.

"It could be his head again," I said, getting worried. It was as if my heart dropped to my stomach when I saw the hit and how he fell, but my heart dropped to the floor when I saw him get escorted out.

"Has it been acting up or something?" Troy asked.

"Sort of, I mean, he's kept a strong front but I know it's hurt from time to time and can be sensitive. And now I know that he's been having some headache's lately."

"Shit. Has he been to the doctors?"

"We've been a couple times together but I don't know if he's seen the doctor without me."

"I've seen those pictures," Taylor rolled her eyes. "Everyone sent me them at school wanting to know you."

"Oh great," I rolled my eyes back.

"Same here, but they knew it was you," Kim groaned.

"Now you know why I'm home!" I laughed.

Turns out Sid never returned to the game, being stuck with concussion like symptoms. I knew I'd be expecting a phone call when he got home and sure enough, I got one while I was in bed. It was nice being in my teenage bedroom.

"I fucked up," he kept saying.

"Sid, you didn't fuck up. Stuff like that happens all the time."

"I know but I should have been more careful."

"There's no avoiding that though. You know just as much as I do that it's a huge part of the sport. Just go to your appointment tomorrow and see what they have to say. You'll be fine in no time and you'll be back as soon as we know it."

"I know. I wish you were here, I need you."

"It's just like old times eh?"

"Literally."

"I'm laying in my bed, and you're in yours and we're talking about a bad game. I kinda miss it in a way."

"Me too, but I like when you're here with me in bed and we talk about it. Now that we've had that I don't wanna go back."

"Me either."

"Can you please put the phone to your belly?"

"Sure. You're there!" I yelled.

"Hi baby. It's your daddy again. I just wanna say hi and that I miss you terribly. I just needed a cheering up and talking to you is doing the trick. Sometimes when daddy has a bad game he needs to get a smile and you're the perfect person to give him one." Ah he's so cute! He has the baby kicking away too! So precious. "Be good for mommy and I'll talk to you soon. I love you!"

After his heart warming conversation with the baby, we continued to talk until we were both tired. I miss Sidney, and I hope he's alright.