My Promise To You

Day of Birth

2 months later
TONI POV:

I cut Ben's hair slowly. "Be careful." I smile at him freaking out. "I am." I whisper. "I'm sorry." He gets up and walks out. "Babe!" Every time! I cut half his hair and he freaks out. "Come back." I follow him. He turns around. I move some her out of his face. "Why do you always afraid I'm gonna mess up?" I ask quietly. We go through this every time. He has always had this voice in the back of his head telling him it's gonna make him look more feminine. "You know why!" He whispers. "I'm giving you the same cut you've had for years. Do you want anything done differently?" I ask quietly. "Can you cut the top a little shorter?" I smile. "Of course. Come on." We go back into the bathroom and finish. "See! You don't look like a girl. Dani is gonna be here in a few so get washed up." I kiss him. Sometimes I wonder if he ever matured past 6 this is one one those moments. Doesn't help that I baby him. Not saying I don't treat him like an adult! I just hate seeing him hurt so a cradle him. He gets the shower and washes the stray hairs off his body. Luckily he can actually shave his face. Because I'm not doing that for him. He keeps himself nice a clean he doesn't let his beard get that messy, probably because he hates when it is. Same with his hair. Now that I think about it I think Ben has some OCD. It's not bad but it enough to send him off the edge if one thing is wrong or messed up. "You don't have to watch me shower." He says over the running water. "Have you been tested for OCD?" I ask out of nowhere. He stops what he's doing. I'm taking that as a yes. "I don't want to talk about it. Now let me shower in pace." I walk out and the bell rings. I grab the baby monitor and go downstairs. I open the door and get slammed by Dani. "Hey baby!" I pick her up. "I'm almost 4." She smiles. "I know but you'll always be my baby." I kiss her cheek. "Where's dad?" She ask quietly. "In the shower I just cut his hair." I whisper. "Go play." I whisper. She goes to the play area. I look at Ben's mom. "I still won't forgive you." I tell her. "I know. And that's ok." Ben walks downstairs. "Hey Mom." Dani goes over and hug Ben. "Hi sweat heart!" He kisses her cheek.

"Daddy's birthday is coming up!" I place two pancakes on Dani's plate. "What do you think we should do?" I ask. Ben is at work. I'm still at home on maturity leave. It's great. Usually Ben stays home to take care of Dani but we can't afford to have both of us out of work at the same time. She sits up on her knees. "A pony ride!" She smiles. "No. What would dad like?" I move some hair behind her ear. She shrugs. "Eat cake." She smiles. "Dad is lactose intolerant right now." I say before feeding the hamster now number 3. His name is Snuffles. I think you can figure out who named him. I got to name the second one. I named tried to name him Toni jr but Ben and Dani wouldn't let me. "Why?" She ask curiously. "Well you know you had to take those pills when you were really sick?" She nods. "Well, dad has a infection. And he has to take some pills and it has caused him to have a reaction to milk." I explain. He got a urinary infection. Neither of us can figure out how or why. "Oh. So why doesn't daddy stop taking it and find a different pill?" She ask like it's nothing. "Well. It's not that easy it's the only one he can safely take." She nods. "Why?" My head drops. "It's not that easy! I'm not explaining it any further!" I smile. "Ok. Daddy's big birthday!" She smiles. I grab a notebook and pen. "What should we do?" I ask excitedly. "Well. I still think we should have a cake. Dad can suck it up it's his birthday." I write it down. "He's not gonna like that but ok I'll keep note of it." Dani thinks for a minute and eats her breakfast. "Pony." I shake my head. "No! Pony!" I insist. "Maybe for your birthday." I smile. She thinks some more. She's just like Ben. Their attitude is the same. It's quite funny. I smile looking at how cute she is. I hope she never grows up. Even though it would be nice if we didn't have a to worry about having spare sheets. She has nightmares and wets the bed. It's an on going problem. "Oh! Pizza!" I smile looking down. "Nothing with dairy." She smiles. "There isn't any just cheese." I smile sadly. "That's dairy Sweetheart." She looks down. "Oh-." I stop her. "No pony." She looks back down. "Let's think of something to get him. Because he's not going to want a huge party." Ben has really bad social anxiety. It's gotten worse over the years. Besides we are having a small party but it's just the usual suspects. "Are we going to have any party?" I nod. "Yeah. Auntie V and Betty are gonna be here with Tyler. Uncle Sweet Pea and Fangs! Maybe Grandma. She might not be able to come but she's gonna try." She smiles with a small giggle. "What about us and Jason?" She ask quietly. "Well of course! How could I forget?" She laughs a little. "You're silly." She smiles. "I think we should get him a shaving kit. His beard is scratchy." She whispers. I laugh quietly. "Yeah. I already tried that. He still hasn't opened it. He likes it! Let him have it." I tell her quietly. "Well we should get him a pony." I sigh. "You're not letting go the whole pony thing are you?" She shakes head. "Nope!"

"Do you know where we can find a pony?" I ask lying Jason down in his crib and walking over to our bed. "W-what?" Ben ask quietly. "Dani thinks we should rent you a pony for your birthday. And that was with me compromising renting one." He laughs a little. "Ask Veronica she has connections to everything. Also I really don't want a pony." He whispers. "I told her that she just laughed. I tried to say for her birthday and she brought it up when I asked about buying you stuff. She's a mini you!" We both lie down. "I'll do it for her." He whispers pulling me close. "But if you are actually going to rent one only for like a hour or two." I nod. "I don't have a problem with that." I sigh. "The things we'll do for our children." He whispers. "Are we ever going to tell her about you being trans?" I ask quietly. He sits up and looks at me. "Why?" He ask quietly. "Well. She's started asking questions. And we talked about telling her." I rub his thigh. "We can sit her down tomorrow?" He suggest.