My Promise To You

Rubber

DANI POV:

"Jason." I walk slowly over to him. He's been walking around in circles for an hour. "You ok?" I know he's high. He looks at me. "Maybe." He smiles. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "Everything." I pull him into a hug. I notice the bloody razor sitting in the bathroom. "Hey! Everything is going to be ok!" I whisper. He just starts crying. "I'm sorry." I wipe his tears. "You're ok! Let's get you washed up." I whisper. I take him into the bathroom. I text mom and tell her what happened. "I thought you stopped." I whisper. I grab a cloth and put some water. This isn't the first time I've caught him in like this. "Jason." I whisper. He shakes his head. "Everything with mom and dad?" He nods. I just need to keep him sane until mom gets home. I clean him up. "They'll make it through." I tell him. I grab bandages and rap his arm. "Anywhere else?" I ask quietly. "No." I pull him into a hug. "I'm tired." He whispers. "Do you want to lie down?" I ask quietly. "Yeah." We go back into his room. He lies down. I just sit at the edge of his bed waiting for mom. He quickly falls asleep. Mom walks into the room. "Bud." She shakes his awake. He jumps a little. "You ok?" She ask quietly. "I don't know." Jason whispers. "How about you get up so we can get some ice cream. Ok?" Jason nods. He slowly get up. "Can you call dad?" He ask quietly. "I will." Mom whispers. We go to the car. I stay in back with Jason. "I don't want to go back." He whispers to me. "You have to." I whisper. "Are your nightmares back?" I ask quietly. He nods. "I'm sorry." He whispers. "This isn't your fault." I tell him. Mom pulls up to Pop's. I know she feels like this is all her fault. In a way it is. Not completely! He's had anxiety his whole life this was just the cherry on top. We walk into Pop's and we get our usual. We eat and the inevitable happens. "Please don't make me go." He whispers. "Jason you need help." I pull him into a hug. "I love you." I whisper. "I know." He smiles. "Ready?" Mom ask quietly. "Yeah." We go into the hospital.

JASON POV:

"Have you had any suicidal thoughts?" The psychologist ask. "Yeah." I answer. "Ok. Anxiety?" I nod. "I-I I get nightmares of my family dying. And it's me and I'm I'm I'm the reason they're that they died." I confess. "Are you having homicidal thoughts?" She ask calmly. "I don't want to kill anyone. I just- I can't help them." I start crying. "We can get you the help you need." I nod. "I feel like someone is in my head making me feel that way!" I say. "Is there any reason why you would be feeling this way? Like the anxiety and suicidal thoughts?" She ask concerned. "My parents. They don't abuse me or anything they are the best parents I could ask for! But they have been fighting." I tell her. "What kind of fighting?" She ask. "My dad is a recovering alcoholic. When he gets mad he doesn't hit or anything he just gets really frustrated if provoked and the other day my mom said that she didn't love him anymore. They got into a really big fight. It was hard to watch and it brought back the thoughts." I whisper. "My dad isn't living with us at the moment and I think my sister might kill my parents if they don't get their shit together soon." She looks at me. "Sorry for swearing." I apologize. "It's fine. Your sister though." I look down. "She hates my parents right now. Because she's older and actually sees the problems going on around her." I say. She writes some stuff down. "When was the last time you selfed harm?" She ask quietly. "Today. I hadn't done it since the last time I was here." She nods. "Ok! When was that?" She ask quietly. "2 years ago. When my dad and I were almost in a car accident." My knee starts bouncing. "I have something for you." She pulls out a rubber band. "Whenever you're feeling like harming yourself use this." I take it. "It doesn't help me." I tell her. "But I'll try." She smiles.