My Promise To You

Confession

BEN POV:

I walk into Dani's room. "You ok?" I ask quietly. "How did you know you were trans?" She ask looking at me. "Why?" I ask concerned. "I don't know, I don't understand why you would want to go through all that. I'm not saying you're in the wrong! I just don't think I could ever do that to myself, but that's because I'm not trans." I sit down on her bed. "Why do you care?" I ask. "Like actually not your bull shit excuse." I add. She shrugs. "It's not my place to say." She whispers. "Some stuff with one of my friends is going through the same thing you did." She whispers. I shrug. I explain everything to her. "But I thought Grandma was ok with everything." She says confused. "She was after everything mom hunted her down." I tell her. "Why did you forgive her?" She ask quietly. "I didn't want to live my life hating her." I say. "She came around." I whisper. She looks down. "What about your father?" She ask me. "I never told him, I never got to tell him. He killed my brother and than himself. I hated him and I still do. That's why I forgave my mother because I know half of the stuff she was going through was because of him." I explain. "Do you think he would have been ok with any of this?" I shake my head. "Hell no!" I insist. I look at my daughter. "You ok?" I ask quietly. "I know the past year has been hell." She shrugs. "I don't know. I feel guilty. I don't know why or for what. I just feel like everything has slipped out of my control." She whispers. "I just don't really know what to do." She says hold back tears. "I keep suggesting you see your therapist again and you keep saying no." I whisper. "I don't need to talk to her! I just- I don't know what to do." She whispers. "I don't want you to do anything you'll regret." I look at her. "Dad, I don't think I have the energy to do anything." She whispers. "I can't- I can't do that to Jason. Or you and mom." She says I can see the panic in her eyes. "I've worked to hard just to kill myself." She say taking a long deep breath. "Do you want to see a therapist?" I ask for what feels like the millionth time. "Can I think about it?" I nod. "Yeah, but I need an answer." I say. "Of course." I wipe her tears. "You can always talk to me." I remind her. "Yeah." She looks down. "I have to get some work done." She whispers. "Ok." I get up and leave. "Do you want the door open or closed?" I ask quietly. "Open." She says going to her desk. "Ok." I walk out and go to my bedroom. "You ok?" Toni ask quietly. I close the door. "I don't think she's ok. Like I'm more worried about her than Jason at the moment and Jason is under a suicide watch!" I say.

IAN POV:

"No!" I run over to the car and see that it's the accident I was in with Dad and Kyle. I try to save everyone but I can't, not even myself. "No!"

I snap out of my thoughts yelling. "Ian!" I look at my teacher. "I'm sorry." I get up and run out of the class. I feel like I'm suffocating. I run to my dorm and just have a mental break down. "Ian!" My roommate Joey runs in after me. "What was that?" He ask concerned. I try to collect my thoughts and myself. "Nothing!" I say quietly. "Ian?" I look at him. "I said nothing!" I yell. "This is none of your business!" I get mad. "I'm just trying to help!" He whispers. "I'm sorry. It's just my past. I don't want to talk about it, just family stuff." I say quietly. "Shitty parents or something?" He ask. "Or something." I say. "My parents were amazing. They did everything in the their control to help me through life." I whisper. "Were?" I look up. "My mom killed herself, I was in a car accident with my brother and father. I was the only one who survived." I tell him. "Dude! I'm so sorry." I shake my head. "Maybe I shouldn't have come here." I say trying not to have a panic attack. "This place just reminds me of everything that happened." I whisper. "Give it until Christmas." I nod. "I know." I look down. "Please don't mention this to anyone. I don't feel like having this whole school knowing my shit." He nods. "Yeah. I won't. It's not my story." He whispers. "Thank you." He smiles sadly. "It's no problem." He whispers.