My Promise To You

Hair

BEN POV:

"The nice thing about being in the hospital is I don't have to worry about taking my testosterone." I whisper to Toni. "Yeah but you have to worry about shaving and maintaining your hair." She moves my head slightly to the side to trim my beard. I roll my eyes. "Be careful." I panic. "I am." Toni tells me. "It's ok." She tries to calm me. "Why do you still get worked up about your beard and hair?" She ask quietly. "I don't really know. I know it's not a big deal." I whisper. "I've been doing your hair for almost 15 years, you really don't need to worry." She reassures me. "I know." I whisper. "But my beard!" She smiles. "I've watched you do this for 15 years." She tells me. "It's ok." She reassures me. "When are the kids getting here?" I ask quietly. "In a hour." She wipes my face. "See? Done!" She smiles. "Now you're hair." My eyes widen. "It's ok!" She tells me. "Do you want to do it later?" I nod. "Ok." She smiles. "I have to go pick the kids." She kisses my cheek. "Ch-." She stops herself. "Seriously?" I look back as her as I walk out of the bathroom. "Almost 15 years." She looks down awkwardly. "I told you this would happen." I smile and kiss her. "It's ok." I kiss her again. "You stopped yourself." I sit on the bed. "Go pick the kids up." I whisper. "Ok." She smiles kissing my cheek.

"Hey Sweetheart." Dani walks in. She immediately sits next to me. "Where's Jason?" I ask quietly. "He's with Veronica. He got scared." Toni whispers. "Ok." I whisper. "How are you sweet girl?" I ask quietly. "Good." Dani smiles. "How was school?" I ask quietly. "Fine."  She whispers in a sad tone. "Really?" I ask quietly. She shrugs. "What's going on sweetheart?" I ask concerned. She looks at Toni. She's never been that open with Toni so she just walks out awkwardly. "Kids are mean." I take a deep breath. "What do you mean?" I ask quietly. "Talk to me." I whisper. She just lies into me. I rub her back gently trying not to rub my cast on her. "Baby." I whisper. She doesn't say anything she just lies there. "It's ok." I whisper to her. She nods. "F-fathers day is coming up." I nod. "Well, you said that Sweet Pea was my bological father." I smile. "It's biological." She nods. "Yeah. I wanted to make something for him and you. Well, James said you weren't my really dad." I smile sadly. "You know that no matter what I'm still your dad. Right?" She nods. "Biologically you are my daughter, but we still had to have Sweet Pea help us a little." I explain to her. "How does that work?" She ask quietly. "Well, you know how I was born a girl right?" She nods. "But you're a boy now!" I smile. "Yes. There's still something's that normal boys can do that I can not, because I just can't. So boys they produced this thing that helps get girls pregnant and I can't do that because it's just not possible yet. Girls have some internal body parts that boys don't have, and boys are the same way. I can't help mommy get pregnant. You know how chickens lay eggs?" I ask quietly. She nods. "Ok, so girls have two eggs in them that a boy can make pregnant and the baby will grow inside you instead of outside. I can't do that, because I still have eggs. So they took some of mine and some of mommy's and mixed them with the stuff that boys produce and put it in mommy so she could have you and Jason." I try to explain to her as simple as possible without getting into full detail. She tries to process it. "Ok?" She nods. "We could have had just mixed mommy and Sweet Pea together but I really wanted you to be biologically attached to me." I smile. "Ok." She smiles. "So you're making something for Sweet Pea too?" She nods. We've always giving her and Jason the choice to give Sweet Pea something for fathers day, he's cool with it because according to him: "free shit man." They still call him their uncle only because that's what we refer to him as. Even though Dani just calls him Sweet Pea now. They're really close, probably because we told her the situation at a young age even though Jason knows but he's too young to understand the whole thing, I'm still daddy. "What do I say if he brings it up because I'm not gonna remember it all?" She ask quietly. "Well, just say we're both your dads but you only call me dad." I tell her. "Ok." She smiles. "What did you make him?" I ask quietly. "I can't tell you because it's the same for you because the other thing was confusing to make." I smile. "I'll show you after I give you yours." I kiss the side of her head. "I'm sure he'll love it." I tell her. "How's Jason doing?" I ask since he's not in here. "Good! He's still annoying." She smiles. "Well he's supposed to be." I whisper. "Trust me. I had a brother. He was annoying." I smile. "What happened? You said you had, like he's not longer your brother." She sits up. "He died when we were in high school." I tell her honestly. "Will that happen to Jason?" I shake my head. "No!" I whisper. "Ok." I kiss her forehead. I look at Toni threw the glass. She holding Jason who still looks scared to come in. "Why does Jason act weird?" She ask quietly. "Well, he's just a little different than you. He hasn't learn certain skills." I tell her. "Ok." She smiles. "Will he ever learn them?" I shrug. "We don't know." Since a lot of things went wrong with Jason's birth he has a developmentally delayed. She shrugs. "Ok." She smiles. "I still love him. Even if he makes my skin crawl." Oh my god she's a mini Toni! "That's good." I smile. "I bet he feels the same about you."

"I have a question." My doctor looks at me. "Yes sir." I smile still love getting called the right pronouns. "Do you have any idea when i'll be able to go home?" I ask quietly. "Once at least one of your hands heal. Which should be any day now." I smile as a wave of relief. "Thank you." I whisper. She smiles and walks out.