My Promise To You

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BEN POV:

I walk out of the bathroom. "What?" Toni ask putting her book down. I show her my testosterone shot. "I can't do it." I whisper. She sighs. "Come on." I sit at the edge of the bed. "What happened?" She ask quietly. She slowly injects the testosterone. "Ow!" I wince. "It's ok." She smiles. "What happened?" She ask again. "I don't know, I just kept getting flashbacks from that night." I whisper. She takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry about that." I whisper. "You OD'd. There isn't anything to apologize for." She says not making eye contact. "I'm gonna go check on the kids." She gets up and walks out. I sit there in silence. I rub my face and take a deep breath. "Mr. Blossom?" I jump a little and see Ian. "You can call me Ben you know that right?" He nods. "Yeah. I just- it's just- I don't know. I'm still getting to know you, I don't know. I don't- I just need to ask you something." He talks over himself awkwardly. "What's up?" I smile. He stands there for a minute. "Do you think the pain is going to ever get better?" He ask quietly. I sit there for a second and take a deep breath. "Honestly?" He nods. "It gets better, but it's different every day. Some days I feel like crap, some days I know there isn't anything to bring back my family, but it's ok. That doesn't really made sense." He nods. "I know what you mean." He walks out awkwardly. I lie down on the bed. "Fuck!" I groan.

I take a deep breath. "Go to sleep." Toni rolls over to me. "I can't." I sit up and turn the light on. She looks at me. "Babe." Toni sits up and rubs my backs "I'm sorry about earlier." I apologize. "I'm not mad." She whispers. "It happened. You've been clean for 5 years. Did you need like 12 wake up calls?" She cups my cheek. I nod. "But you're clean. Well at least I think you are." I nod. "There's been a few moments of insanity with alcohol but I usually stop after like half drink. I now have a really low alcohol tolerance." I whisper. She smiles. "Can we go to sleep now? Because I have a hard time sleeping if you're not able to." She ask quietly. I take a deep breath. "I can't sleep though." She makes me take off my shirt. "Ooh!" I smile. "It's that kind of night?" She shakes her head. "I can't remember the last time you slept with a shirt on." I nod. "True." I smile. There's a knock on the door. "Come in." Toni says. Dani walks in. "M-mom? I need help." She whispers. "Girl stuff." She says awkwardly. Toni takes a deep breath and gets up. I lie my head on the pillow. "Wha!" I jump up. Toni lies down next to me. "Go back to sleep." She whispers. "What did Dani need?" I ask you. "Nothing." She whispers. "She just needed help, with something you hate talking about." She says. "O-oh." I lie down. "Yeah I don't want to talk about that." I smile. She rubs back. "You need a hair cut." She whispers. "Tomorrow." I say quietly.

"Be careful." I say. Toni smile. "Always." Ian walks into the bathroom. "Sorry. Ahh... there aren't any glasses and none are in the sick to clean or anything." He says awkwardly. "They're probably is in the dishwasher, I ran it last night Jason was supposed to empty that." Toni says. "Ok." He smiles walking out. "He's on drugs." I say. "What?!" Toni starts cutting my hair. "He's to happy." I whisper. "He can be happy. He doesn't need to be sad for the rest of his life." She tells me. "No but that like doped up on weed happy. Trust me." I say. "The funeral is tomorrow. He's probably freaking out. He needs a distraction." She whispers. "He also needs a male figure in his life. Especially right now."

"You ok?" I ask Ian. He nods. "Do you need anything?" I ask quietly. "I need to find something to wear for tomorrow." He whispers. "Do you want to go out and I'll get you something? Toni said you might need a distraction." I suggest. "I know we'll be looking for something to wear tomorrow. I'm not really good with this stuff. We can go out to eat after or something." He nods. "I get need to get out of this house. Anything that will stop me from thinking about tomorrow even if it's getting something for tomorrow, but we can pretend it's for homecoming or something." He smiles awkwardly. "Also, I want Pizza." He says quietly. "Ok." I nod. "Grab your shoes we'll go in a few." I say quietly. He nods. "Cool." He smiles. "Thank you." I nod. "It's fine."

"How about this?" I smile showing Ian a button down. "It's to gay." He whispers. "You're gay." I respond. "But I'm not our to the rest of my family." He whispers. "That's kinda why when they asked if I wanted to stay with you guys or any of my family I chose you guys because honestly you only family I have right now." He says sadly. "I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable with your family. I get it. It took my mom a while to come around to her senses." He looks at me confused. "I was born female." He nods awkwardly. "How... did..." I watch Ian do mental gymnastics. "Surrogate." He takes a deep breath. "Cool." I grab another shirt. "How about this?" I ask quietly. He smiles. "I like that." I smile. "Go try it on." I hand it to him.