He Suddenly Came Back

Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36: Good Terms

(Zoe's POV)

Ilang minuto na akong nakatingin kay Clive. Pinuntahan ko kasi siya dito sa pool area at gaya ng sabi ni kuya, mukhang malalim nga yung iniisip niya. Nakatingin lang siya sa langit habang naupo sa gilid ng pool dipping his feet on it.

Yung pakiramdam na gusto ko siyang lapitan pero hindi ko magawa kasi humihingi siya sakin ng distansya, gusto ko siyang kausapin pero alam kong gusto niya akong iwasan. Ang hirap.

I just remained watching his back when he suddenly turned his head around into my direction.

"Uhh..." ayan, di ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.

He stared at me for a moment then said, "Kanina ka pa diyan?"

"Medyo. Sige alis na pala ako, baka nakaistorbo ako sayo."

"Wait..." he stopped me. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin.

"Bakit?" tanong ko sa kanya nang makalapit na siya.

He smiled. "Wala lang."

Bigla ko nalang siyang sinuntok sa dibdib. "Nakakainis ka, alam mo ba yun? Bakit ba kasi kailangan mo pa akong iwasan, ha?! Nakakainis ka! Sobra sobra!" I kept on hitting him.

All of a sudden, he hugged me. "I missed you too Z." he was chuckling.

"I missed you too ka diyan?! Hindi ko naman sinabing na miss kita, gago."

Hinigpitan pa niya yung yakap niya tas niyugyog ako. "Tinawag mo pa akong gago, alam ko namang namiss mo ako."

I slightly pushed him. "Gago ka naman talaga e, pinagtabuyan mo pa ako."

He cupped my face and wiped my tears. Ayan, ni hindi ko man lang namalayan na naiyak na pala ako.

"Hindi naman kita pinagtabuyan, dumistansya lang ako para sa inyo."

"But that was what I felt."

"I'm sorry Z. I didn't mean to make you feel that way."

I sniffed. "Okay na tayo diba?"

"Depende."

I hit him again. "Anong depende?!"

"Oo na. Pasalamat ka talaga ma–..."

"Pasalamat ako ano?"

"Wala. Sabi ko maupo tayo dun sa bench."

Hinila na niya ako para maupo sa bench malapit sa pool. Nang makaupo kaming dalawa, isinandal ko yung ulo ko sa balikat niya.

"Nasan nga pala si Tristan?"

"Bumalik sa office. Nag text kasi si Ivan sa kanya may kailangan daw silang ayusin. Bakit?"

"Baka kasi anong isipin niya, parang ang clingy mo lang." he said as he laughed.

I pouted. Asar talaga 'tong lalakeng 'to. But I admit that I'm happy. Masaya ako kasi okay na kami, kasi bumabalik na kami sa dati.

"Kamusta ka naman Z? Halos dalawang lingo din kasi tayong di nagkausap."

"Ikaw kasi. Kasalanan mo." Kung hindi lang kasi siya nagdrama at umiwas-iwas...

"Alam ko. Sasagutin mo pa ba yung tanong ko?"

"I'm good. Medyo nalungkot lang ako pero di na ngayon kasi okay na tayo."

He held my left hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry ulit Z. Akala ko kasi yun yung mas makakabuti."

"Okay na nga diba."

"Kamusta naman kayonng dalawa?"

"We're good, happy." I smiled at the thought. He's making everything up to me.

"Kita ko nga." He said with a hint of gall in his voice. "Alam mo bang nasasaktan ako?"

"Clive..." may pagkawarning yung pagkakasabi ko, parang ayoko kung saan papunta ang usapang 'to.

"It hurts because I was the one who pushed you to forgive him, I was the reason why you went to his side. Gusto ko lang naman na maging masaya ka at alam ko na mapapasaya ka niya, he could give you a complete happiness. Though there's a part of me saying I could also make you happy, pero hindi naman ako siya, hindi naman ako yung mahal mo, I wasn't the one you've been waiting to come back..."

"Clive..." I stopped him "Mahal naman kita e."

Tumawa siya ng mapakla, "Bilang kaibigan. Alam ko na yun. I've decided to keep some distance because it hurts more to see you together, to see you happy with him. Napaka ironic diba? Yun nga yung dahilan ko kaya kita tinulak pabalik sa kanya. Pero alam mo kung ano yung pinakamasakit?"

I stared at him and shook my head not because I don't know what he was talking about but because I don't want to know what hurts him the most. Tama na yung 'hurt' at 'hurts more', sobra na nga yun kung tutuusin, tas dadagdagan pa ng 'hurts most'?

"Being away from you hurts the most Z. I thought I could bear it but I can't."

"It's your fault. You shouldn't have stayed away."

"You're right. It's my fault because I distanced. My bad, I just love you."

I felt a pang of pain inside my chest. Ito yung pinaka ayaw ko, yung tipong yung nagmamahal sayo ay nasasaktan, it freaking guilts the hell out of me.

"Clive, pwede bang itigil mo na lang yang pagmamahal na yan?"

"Kung pwede ko lang tigilan, ginawa ko na. Pero hindi talaga e. Paano ba naman kasi, ang lakas ng hatak ng first love. It's like I've waited for you forever."

Sino ba kasing gumawa ng 'First love never dies' na yan? Ayan tuloy marami yung naniniwala kaya maraming nabibiktima.

"Ibaling mo nalang. Nandiyan naman si Allie, pwedeng siya nalang? Maganda siya tsaka bagay kayo."

Pinitik niya bigla yung noo ko. "Parang pinagtatabuyan mo naman ako." He said and acted like he was badly hurt.

"Hindi ikaw yung pinagtatabuyan ko, yung pagmamahal mo lang."

Pinitik niya ulit yung noo ko. Aba't nakakadalawa na siya! "Isa nalang Clive, sasakalin na kita."

He chuckled. "Hindi pwede si Allie."

"Bakit? Dahil ex mo siya? Love is sweeter the second time around." I said encouraging him. It's indeed sweeter and I can justify that with my relationship with Tristan. If I hadn't gave us another chance, siguro patuloy ko lang mararamdaman na may kulang sa buhay ko.

"Hindi. Dahil aalis na siya by next month, babalik na siya ng Canada. I don't want long distance relationships."

I sighed. Wala na talagang chance.

"If you're worried about me, don't be. I've decided to love you and pain comes with it. If it doesn't hurts then it's not love. Masaya na ako't magkaibigan tayo."

"Dapat lang para di ako ma guilty."

"Payakap nga Z, habang wala pa siya."

Matagal bago bumalik si Tristan sa mansion, around 9 pm na siya dumating. Nagpaalam na kami agad na babalik na sa condo right away. Si Clive naman umuwi nadin right after we left.

"You look happy." Tristan stated while we're inside the elevator.

I smiled. "Masaya nga ako."

Who wouldn't be when everything seems falling into its places? Kuya's back though it's not for good but at least he went to a visit, he has given my relationship with Tristan another shot, and Clive and I are good now. I hope nothing would ruin this happiness.