✔The Joker's Insanity

QUADRAGINTA TRES

Marquessa Legazpi drifted in and out of consciousness. Halos hindi na niya maramdaman ang kanyang katawan sa pagod. Masakit pa rin ang mga braso't binti, at halos patayin na siya ng hapdi sa sugat niya sa mata.

But none of this compared to the pain inside her chest.

'Paano nga ba naging ganito ang buhay ko?'

Pagak siyang natawa. Masyadong masakit ang mga alaalang bumabalik sa kanya. Tuluyan na siyang naging halimaw. Tuluyan na rin siyang nawala sa katinuan. Could she still live after this?

Nakatulala lang siyang umiiyak habang ginagamot ni Everick ang kanyang mata. A soft blue glow emitted from his hands and eased the pain, but not enough. Nanlalabo pa rin ang kanyang paningin at para bang mawawalan ulit siya ng malay anumang sandali mula ngayon.

'Evarius brought me here.. how sweet for a crazy man.'

Naaninag niya ang mukha ni Joker habang ginagamot siya ni Everick. She saw how worried he is, and it only made her chest ached even more.

Nag-uusap silang dalawa, pero hindi halos maintindihan ni Marquessa ang sinasabi nila.

She can only make out a few parts from their conversation...

"--Hindi na kayang ibalik ng paningin niya. Her left eye will never be functional again.."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just be happy that she's alive, brother! Alam nating dalawa na kung hindi para sa'yo, baka napatay na rin siya ni Evil.."

"Fucking bastard!"

'Be happy that I'm alive, huh?' Hindi na napigilan ni Marquessa ang kanyang sarili. She started laughing like a lunatic. Natigilan sina Evarius at Everick nang lumakas ang kanyang pagtawa.

She was literally losing her sanity.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"M-Marquessa?"

Ngumiti siya kay Joker. Sinong mag-aakalang maghahatid ang lalaking 'to ng napakaraming sakit at saya sa buhay niya? Still, she doesn't regret meeting him. Nang dahil kay Joker, natutunan niyang tanggapin ang kanyang sarili at ang malupit na reyalidad. She learned how to laugh and cry at the same time. Pero mukhang naabot na ni Marquessa ang sukdulan..

The pain is unbearable.

She had witnessed death over and over again, and it terrified her.

"Ayoko nang mabuhay."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Joker sa sinabi niya, pero pinigilan niyang magsalita.

Marquessa didn't even bother wiping her tears. "I am not happy that I'm alive.. araw-araw akong guguluhin ng mga masasakit na alaala, Evarius. I-I failed to avenge Faye's death. Nasayang ang lahat ng paghihirap ko. Paniguradong ibabalik rin ako sa asylum ng mga magulang ko.. they'll drag me back in that hell hole and keep me there until I rot. At kahit na matakasan ko ang asylum, hindi ko naman matatakasan ang trauma ng pagpatay ko sa mga taong nasa ballroom kanina. I can escape the insanity of the asylum, but I can never escape the nightmares."

Hindi man ipinapahalata ni Marquessa, ngunit ginagambala siya ng mga alaalang 'yon. She had killed so many people, and it scared her. She become a monster.

Faye would be disappointed in her.

Gusto na lang niyang matapos ang lahat.

Evarius' eyes narrowed at her. Naikuyom nito ang kanyang mga kamao. Everick walked out of the room and gave them privacy. Nang maiwan silang dalawa sa silid, nagsalita na si Joker..

"Hindi gugustuhin nina Faye at Joshua na sayangin mo ang buhay mo."

"Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa bang mabuhay, Joker. The pain is too much.. even if I try to move on, I know it's gonna leave a scar. D-Damn this.. I hate this pain. I hate it.. Just kill me, dahil napapagod na rin ako."

Matagal na hindi umimik si Evarius Neverwood. He was deep in thought. Nang mag-angat siya ng tingin, napansin ni Marquessa ang pag-aalinlangan sa kanyang mga mata.

"Do you still hate me?"

"No."

Because it was the truth.

Nang malaman niyang sinubukang isalba ni Evarius ang buhay ni Faye, napawi ang galit niya para sa binata. Yes, he killed her--but he didn't mean to. And that's enough for her.. because Evarius was just another victim of his brother's little game. Pareho silang naloko ni Evillois.

Napabuntong-hininga ang dalaga.

If dying is the only way to end this pain, then so be it.

"Paano kung..." Nag-iwas ng tingin si Evarius, "Paano kung burahin na lang natin ang mga alaala mo? That way, the painful memories won't haunt you anymore. You'll be able to start over. I know it won't be the same, but it's better than dying."

Kumunot ang noo ni Marquessa. "I'll forget everything?"

Tumango si Joker.

"Even you?"

He sighed. Mahinang siyang natawa sa tanong ni Marquessa kahit na wala namang nakakatawa sa sitwasyong ito.

"Yes."

Napapikit si Marquessa. Bakit ba parang mas masakit isipin hindi na niya maaalala pa si Evarius Neverwood? All those memories she had with him.. all that insanity. She'll forget every bit of it. Her heart ached more. 'Kakayanin ko ba?'

Magiging sulit bang kalimutan si Joker para mawala ang sakit sa puso ni Marquessa?

"N-No.. patayin mo na lang ako. I-I know I sound crazy, but you made me crazy! How can I fucking forget you?!"

"It's the best option we have." Ngumiti si Evarius.

Hindi na nakapanlaban si Marquessa nang kumuha ito ng syringe mula sa kanyang bulsa. Sa panghihina niya, hindi na niya kayang igalaw ang kanyang katawan. She started crying when he stared at her lovingly. His black teardrop tattoo attempted to assure her.

But it was no use.

"P-Please, Joker.. 'wag mo itong gawin!"

'No.. damn it, Joker. Don't do this.'

"You deserve to live a peaceful life, Miss Fake. Kahit na wala ako doon sa buhay mo."

He injected the contents of that syringe on her arm. Hindi inalis ni Joker ang kanyang mga mata kay Marquessa. Patuloy pa rin sa paghikbi ang dalaga. Unti-unting naramdaman ni Marquessa na para bang mawawalan na ulit siya ng malay. It was a sedative---a drug that can put anyone to sleep or atleast calm them down. Kapag umepekto na ito sa kanya, hindi na niya mapipigilan si Joker na burahin ang kanyang mga alaala.

Marquessa Legazpi cried.

"E-Evarius.."

Ngumiti lang sa kanya si Evarius Neverwood. Isang malungkot na ngiti. He leaned closer to her and wiped away her tears.

"Smile, Marquessa. I know you won't remember this when you wake up tomorrow, but I just want to tell you..." Napabuntong-hininga si Evarius. His eyes were sincere, but behind them, he was hurting too.

"I love you."

His lips touched hers. One last time.

Before she lost consciousness again.

---

I wish there's a way to change back
all the mistakes I've made
But the only way to do so
is to let our memories fade.

---Evarius Neverwood