One More Day

Chapter 42

We arrived back at the capital building after Claude's ceremony on taking the mantle of being the Duke of Leicester.

"What do you think would have happened if Edelgard was the leader of Adrestian?" Dimitri asked.

"It would have been a much different world," I said.

"You got that right," he chuckled, but his small smile soon turned into a frown.

He looked lifeless. Last night was the night when the pain was the strongest. It was happening. Sothis had warned me that it was coming upon me. I knew it was going to happen sometime today. I just had this gut feeling.

I walked into Xander's room and placed him in his crib. He fell asleep on the way back to the capital building. I closed his door and walked towards our room. Dimitri was holding a photo. I walked over to him and saw what he was looking at. He was looking at a photo of when Xander had his first birthday. It was a photo of the two of us behind him.

"Is this real?" he whispered to himself. I almost didn't hear it. "No. It can't be real. They must be haunting me as well." He shook his head, "No. You stay quiet! I told you before, be quiet!" He yelled this time. He looked at me.

"You, stay away from him," I said and walked towards the door. Dimitri walked towards me and grabbed his lance from the wall. He turned the photo around to where I was looking at it.

"What am I looking at?"

"You're looking at the face of your wife and son!"

He shook his head, "I can't tell if you're real or not."

Dimitri looked at me with a stone cold glare in his eyes. The nice shade of blue was now shadowed by a dull color. He did not smile in months after the baby was born. When the baby was born, he was happier than a clam. He was the best father to our son, but he was slowly starting to lose himself to the ghosts that were inside of his head. I did my best to snap him out of it, but he couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

"Dimitri, listen to me. We are real. We're not the ghosts that live inside your head! You need to forget about them and focus on what is right in front of you!"

He walked towards me and I walked backwards and into the kitchen.

"I know what is right in front of me," he said and held up his lance.

I had nothing to save myself or our son. All that was close to me as a steak knife. I grabbed it and held it out.

"Don't make me do it, Dimitri!"

"The ghosts of the past are in front of me. And I must get rid of them."

"Dimitri, stop!"

I drove the knife into his forearm. He didn't even flinch or throw his head back and howl in pain. He no longer felt pain. He no longer had the love he had once in his eyes. Blood came out from the wound and dripped onto the floor. He looked down at his bleeding arm and ran his hand underneath the red waterfall. He felt the blood on his hand and looked at me. He didn't even say anything. He was just there. Seizing my chance, I darted towards Xander's room. Dimitri was quick though. He grabbed my leg and stabbed his lance into my calf. I yelled in pain and he ripped it out. I fell onto the ground and he walked over to me. He raised the lance to where it was over my back.

"I should of gotten rid of you a long time ago."

I reached up and grabbed the lance. I ripped it from his hands and threw it to the side of the hallway. As if he was a robot, he turned his head to where his lance landed. I got up and did my best to get Xander's room. I opened the doors to his room and grabbed him. I turned and ran out of the room, Dimitri following closely behind. He was getting faster and I couldn't do anything other than limp my way down the hall.

"Dada," Xander called for his father.

Dimitri held up his lance and threw it. He missed by a few inches. I was relieved, but he was coming at me. I turned and shielded Xander from him, but he stopped all of a sudden. He stood there, looking at Xander. He had his arms outstretched to him. Dimitri walked closer to him and he put his hands on Dimitri's cheeks.

"Dada!" he smiled.

As if a wave was sweeping across the shore, a realization swept over Dimitri. He looked into his son's eyes that resembled his own. It was a deep blue that had once been there and now it has faded. A tear slipped from his eye and down his cheek as he looked at how his son was acknowledging him. Even though he had witnessed him throwing his lance at me. Xander had witnessed me limping and blood running down my leg. He had seen the worst side of his father and yet, he still wanted to be loved by him. He still wanted to love his father.

Dimitri slowly raised his hands and wrapped them around my waist. He pulled me in close to him and he buried his face into my shoulder.

"I-I'm so sorry," he sobbed. "I am such a monster! You and Xander deserve better! You don't deserve to live through the hell I have put you through! You don't deserve to see the darkest side of me almost everyday! You two don't deserve someone as horrid and horrendous as me! You deserve a better husband and our son deserves a better father! Faerghus deserves a better leader! You deserve so much more than I could ever give you! You deserve the world and I couldn't give it to you. I know I've tried to get better, but they would never shut up! You've tried to help me and I appreciate your help, but you can't fix something that has been broken for far too long!"

"Dimitri, it's not over yet."

Dimitri looked up at me. His eye was all red and puffy from his crying. He shook his head.

"You deserve better, Y/N. You deserve so much better. I can't give you that. Please, leave while you have the chance. For both your life and for our son's life. Please, leave me here to rot with the ghosts that are in my head. Leave me here to suffer alone. So that you don't have to bear the burden of suffering with me. Please, for your sake and for our son's sake."

I wrapped my other arm around him and rested my head on his shoulder, "We're not leaving, Dimitri. We're going to stay by your side and we're going to get through this together. I've been with you ever since you started to run the Blue Lions Company. I've seen you through a war and I've seen you fight for what is right. I am going to continue to fight for what is right. And what is right is to help you so that you can give me better than you have ever done. I know you can do better than this, Dimitri. I have seen you be better than this dark side of you. Do you hear me, Dimitri?"

"Loud and clear," he growled lowly in my ear. He reached down and grabbed his lance. I was too slow to react. He drove the lance through my stomach and it pierced through Dimitri's stomach. It came out from his back. I looked down to see that the pole was coming out from my stomach. The tip of the lance was coming out from Dimitri's back.

"Dimitri?" I asked, tears streaming down my face.

"I had to," he said. "I don't know what is real anymore."

We both fell to our knees before laying on our sides. Xander was sitting behind me. I could feel him playing with the end of the pole, which made the lance move a slightly as it stuck both Dimitri and I together. He reached his hand up and moved a strand of hair from my face. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek.

"Were, were your hands always this warm? Or was I too cold to realize it?"

I gave him a small smile, "They were always warm, Dimitri."

He smiled, "I see."

Realizing the situation, Xander let out a wail. He wanted to get the attention of anyone who was in the capital building. My vision was slowly fading. I looked over at Dimitri and held onto his hand.

"I'll see you soon, my beloved."