Endgame

I Wish I Could Stay

Alison's POV

I've never had feelings for a girl before I met Emily. I felt something...different towards her when I turned thirteen. I didn't know that I liked her more than my best friend until we kissed in the library. It scared me. But she wasn't scared. For once I wasn't the fearless and fabulous Alison DiLaurentis.

Pretending to be dead destroyed Emily. I checked on her the most. Watching her endlessly cry over me was the worst pain I've ever felt. I wanted to tell her so bad, but I did what I had to do to protect her from all the assholes that would show no mercy towards her. There's nothing worse than heartbreak, but having someone you love be subject to violence, harassment, and emotional pain was on an entirely different level. She was my favorite..actually she is my favorite. She saw nothing but the good in me, even when I treated her so terribly. It's still shocking how she never stopped loving me.

Right here, is where I need to stay. Forever. I don't want anything or anyone to come between us again. I put her at higher risk running off to meet her, but sometimes you have to ignore your mind and follow your heart. That's why I'm here. If anyone deserves a happy ending it's Emily, she's big on those, so why not?

Emily's true beauty is not within her appearance but with her personality. She appreciates things in life that I would completely overlook. The sun shining, her father coming home after spending months on an army base, getting to spend some time alone with me.

Her arms were still wrapped around my waist. I rolled over and gently kisses each of her eyelids, before placing a kiss ever so gently on her lips. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning sleeping beauty"

"Ali..." She breathed.

I giggled "The one and only!"

She shot up and her eyes widened in fear "Oh my gosh you're still here."

"Yeah..." giving her my sweetest smile.

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be gone? Ugh, that came out wrong" watching her stumble over her words is so cute.

I interrupted her with a kiss. "Babe, I know what you meant. It's bright outside and I'm still here." I smirked. "You still talk in your sleep."

"Noooo.." Covering her face with a pillow. "What did I say to humiliate myself this time?"

"Awww Em," pulling the pillow away from her face so I could look into those deep chocolate brown eyes. "You may have mentioned your undying love for me."

She blushed a deep shade of red.

"It was cute..." I said.

"Really?" She asked.

"I don't want to lie to you anymore Em, I want to be honest with you from now on. I know, that's shocking, but I'd rather be in trouble for the truth rather than a lie. No matter how much more of a bitch it makes me." I admitted.

"You're not a bitch Ali...but am I putting you at risk? By having you in plain sight in my house?"

I straddled her hips. "Would you believe me if I told you that this is the safest I've ever felt? Because being right by your side is the safest place in the world to me." I smiled.

"I'm really happy you feel that way...but what happens when my mom comes home?" she asked.

"I'll have to go again...Em." I said with tears in my eyes.

She pulled me closer, holding my hands. "I don't want you to leave again" her voice cracking with the inevitable sadness in her voice.

"I don't want to leave you either" allowing tears to silently fall down my face. "Just by being here, I'm putting you in more danger every time I see you. I love you so much it hurts. But I can't have -A putting a bigger target on your back."

"If it means spending time with you, I don't care. I don't want to live another day without you. I'm not ready to send you out the door only to have -A kill you." she said with tears streaming down her face. "You're the one Ali, I waited for you. I still waited for you even when everyone insisted you were dead" she sobbed.

"Emily, I hate seeing you cry. There's no greater pain than knowing I ripped the happy ending right out of your hands." I began to shake with heavy sobs.

"I loved you against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be." Emily sniffled.

I was taken aback for a minute. "Emily...I-"

"Pip gets Estella in the end." wiping the tears from her eyes. "Does that mean..I get you in the end?" her eyes pleading an answer from me.

"I hope so, Em..I hope so."

"Take me with you?"

"I can't. But I have to go somewhere far away from Rosewood..I might have to really disappear. Forever."

"My happy ending is with you..."

I got up and searched Emily's desk for stationary and a pen.

"I'm going to give you some important instructions...but you have to pretend you're clueless to the others..." I started.

She dropped her head into her hands.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way Em. But it's only for now..even if something does happen..I'm always here for you." Kissing the remainder of her tears away.

I finished what I needed to write and slipped the paper into her hands.

"Look at me."

She looked up, she was hurting, no doubt about that.

"I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too Em. Don't let that fall into the wrong hands, okay?"

I got my things and started to leave...until Emily pulled me in for a kiss burning with love and passion.

She pulled away. "Sorry, that was just in case this is-"

"Shhh..it won't be. I really need to go now." I glanced over one last time and gave her a small smile noticing the night had already fallen.
I put my hood on and left. As much as it hurts, I have to do it for Emily.