Stay Unfocused (COMPLETED)

Chapter 9

July 2011

Acquaintance Party (12 midnight)

"What happened to you?" He started.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim, pumikit at inalala lahat ang mga nangyari.

I'm standing on a bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound

"I was six when it happened." I started.

All I can hear is silence. Hinawakan niya ang aking nanlalamig na kamay at biglang hinatak patungo kung saan. Nandito kami ngayon sa garden ng school. Hindi masiyadong madilim dahil sa mga ilaw na nakakabit sa mga puno, tila mga lampara na nagsisilbing liwanag sa gabi. Tinignan niya ako at saka nginitian na para bang sinasabi na ituloy ko na ang aking pagkukwento.

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

"I was kidnapped." I paused. Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng kapit niya sa aking kamay, it gave me courage. "Sobrang excited ko that time kasi papasok na ako sa school. Sobrang jolly ko nung bata pa ako. I have many friends, halos lahat ata ng bata doon sa subdivision na tinitirhan namin dati ay kaibigan ko. My dad was a known lawyer and my mom? She's a teacher. Kahit palipat-lipat kami ng bahay ay marami agad akong nagiging kaibigan. Being young and innocent. Sobrang saya kapag madami kang friends. Until that day." Bigla akong natigilan. Biglang hinawakan ni Klark ang isa ko pang kamay kaya dalawang kamay ko na ang hawak niya ngayon. His hands were soft and warm.

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand?

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I... I'm with you

I'm with you

Lumunok muna ako at huminga ng malalim bago muling magpatuloy. "Mid-year na ng school year noon. My dad had a serious case. Si dad, sobrang focus niya sa trabaho and I admire him kasi matinong lawyer siya. May nakabangga siyang isang business tycoon, sinuhulan siya para ipalaglag ang kaso but knowing my dad dinagdag niya ang panunuhol as evidence sa kaso. Naipasara ang negosyo ng businessman, it's a big business so it's like a major downfall. After a couple of months, nagbukas ulit ang business ng nakalaban ni dad. Nakakareceive na siya ng death threats at kung anu-ano pang pananakot. Malaki kasi ang nawala sa negosyante so he wants to get even. And the next thing that I knew I was in a dark room already, screaming and crying."

I'm looking for a place

I'm searching for a face

Is anybody here I know

'Cause nothing's going right

And everything's a mess

And no one likes to be alone

"I was too young to notice; my own home teacher was an accomplice. Since then, I distanced myself from people. Lumipat kami ng bahay, I started home-schooling at sinanay ang sarili na mag-isa."

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand?

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I... I'm with you

I'm with you

I looked at him and all I can see is pity in his eyes. "Huwag mo akong tignan na parang nakakaawa." I uttered then smiled. "I'm still breathing and this scar was a symbol that I'm still alive and existing." At ipinakita ko sa kaniya ang peklat sa aking kaliwang tainga.

"Anong nangyari diyan?" Gulat niyang tanong habang biglang kapit sa aking tainga.

"Bullet." Simple kong sagot. Nakita ko lamang ang gulat niyang reaksiyon.

I laughed. "Stop thinking too much. Daplis lang. I'm so thankful na hindi sa ulo ko tumama. It was a traumatic experience. Naalala ko pa nang dalhin ako sa psychiatrist para mawala ang panic attacks ko. I hate loud noise and shouting people, naaalala ko kasi. Pero nalagpasan ko na iyon, I just can't trust people. Mahirap, I mean sobrang hirap. My mind automatically draws conclusion."

"How about you and my brother? What really happened?" Bigla niyang tanong.

"We became friends kaso nang magpunta siya sa America nagbago na lahat. Okay naman lahat noong una lagi kaming magkausap sa skype. Until last month, he cut all the connections, pinamuka niya sa akin na I'm just his bestfriend and he found his new love that I must stop bugging him." Sagot ko.

"Did you have feelings for him?" He asked.

"Yes. I won't deny it. My first heartbreak, I guess. He's a nice guy, kaya palaisipan sa akin kung anong nangyari. Biglaan nalang kasi. Alam mo ang weird lang. Why are you here by the way? Asking questions and living next to our house. Are you stalking me and knowing my whereabouts? Is this connected to him?"