Belle left two long years ago to learn the ways of France with her Uncle. Upon return to the Lawrence household, in which she grew up in due to her parents sad demise, she sees that things had changed significantly. her new found feeling for her chi...
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"Meg i am so sorry but i need to leave today or tomorrow or something i can not stay here any longer, i hear his cries for her through the walls," i was breaking down completely, it was not fair, i came for Meg's wedding, that is it. "do not be sorry, do what is best for you, i could never be Meg at you," i did not want to be a ruin her happiness after her wedding day so i decided it was time for me to leave. "do not forget to write me Belle," she pulled me into a hug as i stepped out of her door, i nodded, " i would never Meg," i squeezed her one last time and made my way back home to get ready for leaving. Pops already knew i was leaving early, i told him it was a work emergency, he only wanted what was best for me.
i repacked all my things in preparation, Pops had told me a carriage would be taking me to the ports the following morning so i ensured that everything i needed was with me. i knew it would be a present surprise for Louis to have me back so early, the more i thought about him the more i found myself falling for him, i had never really thought about him as more than a friend but now the idea was the only thing keeping my spirits up. i laid back onto my bed and stared at the blank ceiling, i could not believe that had happened this short time i was back.
i was snapped out of my thoughts by a loud bang from the room next to my own, followed by more and more. i was confused until i heard Teddy shout in anger. our rooms were too far for anyone but us to here so i assumed he thought i was absent. no matter how much pain he had caused me, he would still always hold someone of my dearest memories, i knew i had to check on him. i put my robe over my night gown and left my room. i knocked on the door lightly but with no reply i just opened it. his room was a mess, something he hated, i heard quiet sobs but could not see him. until i moved my eyes to the far corner of his room where he sat with his head in his hands shaking.
i quickly made my way to him and sat, he looked up at me with sad eyes, it wasn't the happy Teddy i knew, it was a shell of him, an empty shell. "Teddy," i whispered, i placed my hand onto his cheek as he began to stop shaking. "i need to tell you Belle, i need to tell you it all," he cried out. i shook my head and took his hand into mine, "you don't have to Teddy, i am fine, look i am right here," i tried to calm him with my voice, he let his head fall onto my shoulder and he squeezed my hand. "i need to Belle," he whispered, "when you came back, last time, i fell in love with you. more than in love, i wanted you and only you for the rest of my life. yet i knew you deserved so much better than me, you always have. i tried to convince myself i loved Jo, i pushed myself so much i actually ended up having a small crush on her but any time i took a single glance at you i knew it was not the same, i was still head over heels in love with you Belle. i pushed you away by doing things that we used to do with her but it did not work. when Louis came and i saw the way he looked at you it hurt my heart Belle. when we went to the Debutante Belle i meant every word, every single word. i wanted to have you like that for the rest of my life but again, i knew you deserved so much more. so, i decided to propose to Jo, i thought maybe marrying her would help me suppress my feelings for you but look how that turned out. i have lost you and her. you have and always will deserve someone better than me Belle, i did not write to you because i thought it would help me lose feelings, i really thought it did but i found myself buying every magazine, news article, book, painting, that featured you. you deserve a king, but i am nothing but a simple man with a broken heart."
i did not say anything. i could not let a word leave my lips. i took a breath and built up some courage "i looked for you in every face i saw Teddy. i listened for your laugh in a room full of people. i needed you. i wanted you. you may have thought you were protecting me from something but all you did was warp and mutilate my vision of love. i only wanted you, no one else, but now, i think it's changing Teddy. i am sorry but i can not let you break my heart over and over again. even if i do love you with all of my heart." he smiled weakly, it was then that i realised he did this all so i would not love him, because he thought he was not good enough. "but Teddy just know, you are good enough, and always have been. i am sorry it ended this way," a single tear left my eyes. if we had just talked about it, if we didn't hide our feelings, if we just let the love in, it would have all been so different.
"i hope you find someone who loves you just as i do, with all of them," his hand moved to cup my cheek. i still got lost in those green eyes. "i hope that you will find someone who loves you just as i do, so much it hurts," i whispered. i felt the urge. something in me and i could not control my actions. without thinking i closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his. i felt alive again, my heart raced, but he did not kiss back. i pulled away embarrassed and just looked at him. "why did you do that Belle?" he whispered, "because i needed to feel alive again before i leave and have to go back to, back to a life that no longer satisfies me," i tried to get up but he pulled me back down. "i guess i need to feel alive to," he smiled and kissed me deeply. his soft lips on my own felt ever so euphoric, he held me tightly, all i wanted to do was be with him in that moment forever. as he pulled away he traced his finger over my bottom lip. "i hope we will figure it all out one day Belle," his voice quiet and calm. "me too Teddy, but now as we go on our separate paths in life we can only hope we will meet again," it hurt me to know it could be possible that i would never see him again after this day. "i hope we do Belle, and if not, i need you to know something. you are going to laugh at this i assure you, i may or may not have been the one who told Ned to date you to kiss me when we were kids, and when Louis came. also i may or may not have told the boys at the party to get the bottle to land on me and i was so scared when it landed between Archie and i," his words all quick but i understood perfectly. "you could have just asked to kiss me if you wanted to so bad Teddy," i giggled, "wouldn't have been as fun," he shrugged his shoulders making me smile. "i am glad we have got it all out," i said, he nodded.
"i hope one day that you find me," i whispered. "i will, trust me," he replied.
