Who Knew Rugby Could Be So Complicated?

Look forward not backwards

Owen just held me as I couldnt stop crying. He stroked my hair and didnt say anything. "I think you should go" I mumbled. He pulled me in closer "I'm not going anywhere" this is the first time in a long time anyone has seen me like this. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shrugged. "What happened to make him say all that?" I pulled away from him. My eyes were so puffy and my face was red. I bet I looked a mess. This would probably make someone run a mile.

"I left Harry because he didnt like I spent so much time training. He controlled me, he didnt like that I started to have friends. He then eventually started threatening me to spend time with him and if I didnt he would cause a big argument. He wouldn't let me leave the house" I started to relive the flashbacks.

*flashback*

"I'm going training I'll be back in an hour or so" he grunted like he always did. "Wheres my car keys?" He shrugged. He hid them again like he always did. "Babe come on" I rolled my eyes. "You cant go anywhere if you dont have car keys" he smirked. I started to text Abbi;
Hey Abs can you pick me up I csnt find my car keys
I didnt finish the text before he snatched my phone out my hand and threw it. I watched it shatter to pieces. "Fine I wont go" I stormed upstairs and pulled out my laptop before he came running up the stairs and taking my laptop too. I was like a captive of his. I had no contact with anyone just my family when they came round. But even then Harry was the nicest person and acted like nothing was wrong. He forced me to do the same. I was alone. Rugby was my only escape but he took that away too. That was the day I decided to run away. I packed my bag and ran while he was asleep.

**

I explained to Owen everything about Harry. How could he even still look at me? "I wont let anyone treat you like that again" he looked so sympathetic and worried. "You've got me, no ones going to hurt you" I nodded. "What about your parents?" I immediately tensed. I hate talking about them. "Well urm" I couldnt get my words out. I sounded and looked pathetic enough.

"Well I keep in contact with my brothers, they sometimes come to my games with their kids when they can but you know. The last time they came was about a year ago when I was playing in their home town. See I'm not from around here" he laughed "well with an accent like that I didnt expect you too" I laughed, being around him just made me so happy.

"My mum had an abusive boyfriend, physically and mentally abused me. Told me I was fat, I would be nothing and I would end up in prison or pregnant by time i was 16. He treated me like scum and everytime he got violent he always blamed me like i was a danger to everyone but I never did anything. He once strangled me and I turned blue. I couldnt breathe" my voice broke. He held me even closer. He was holding me so tight I struggled to breathe. I took one deep breathe "my mum always said I was the problem, kicked me out numerous of times and I lived with my dad, until he got his new girlfriend" he never said a word just let me get it out. "My dads girlfriend was always judging me and never made me feel welcome around my dad. So I stopped visiting. My dad turned on me told me I was toxic and that I always being stupid or over reacting. We eventually stopped talking and seeing each other. He sometimes texts me, but that's only for birthday or christmas. My sister always took my mum and dads side. So I decided to start fresh down here and I havent turned back since. I havent seen them in 5 years. The best 5 years of my life if I'm honest. But I'm so alone I have no family. The only family I have is my rugby family and the girls" i stopped talking and started crying again.

"I will always be here for you, you will never loose me" I scoffed, everyone leaves eventually "I promise, through thick and thin" he kissed my head and let me cry until I fell asleep.

How can I be so successful yet so mentally screwed?