Who Knew Rugby Could Be So Complicated?

Nightmare

I was finally home, it didnt feel right, every room I walked in I seen his face. It was like I was trapped again. "Mummy" I turned to the twins "what's that?" Elliot was always the more vocal one. They both pointed to the blue cast on my arm. "I just hurt myself playing rugby chicken" Alex kissed it "all better" they were the sweetest kids.

I tried to get back to normal but that wasnt going to happen anytime soon was it? I stared at the flowers my mum sent down, white lillies. I felt some arms wrap round me and immediately pushed them away "what's wrong?" Owen looked worried. My heart was racing "nothing sorry" I wrapped my arms around him. "You dont have to worry no more" I nodded my head against Owen's chest.

"I'm ordering an Indian I think we deserve it" now that's music to my ears. A week of bland hospital food was enough for me. The front door swung open and i jumped "it's only us" Abbi and Charly welcomed themselves in. "Just checking you're ok" I nodded at Charly. I'm so jumpy its unreal.

"I'll sort the twins out" Owen kissed my forehead and disappeared to find the twins. The girls made themselves at home "your face looks better" Abbi hugged me "thanks its finally coverable with foundation" I laughed. "Are you really alright?" Charly was next to hug me "yeah I'm fine" they both gave me the mum look but knew not to pry anymore out of me. "We wont stay long, just making sure you're ok!" "I got to get Gracie to bed soon, Ellis ends up playing dolls with her otherwise" Charly rolled her eyes.

The girls only stayed for an hour, when they left Owen still hadnt made an appearance. I slowly walked up the stairs trying not to make any noise. The twins shared a room, bunk beds which faced the door. Owen was sat on the chair reading, I couldnt make out which book it was, but his back was to me. I silently signalled a shh sign to the boys which immediately started giggling. "BOO" I had never seen Owen move so quick.

"Idiot" he shook his head and immediately started reading again but the boys couldnt stop laughing. "That's it mummy's ruined it, get some sleep. Love you" Owen looked annoyed, shutting the book and heading towards the door. The boys groaned but replied in unison "night love you"

I popped my head into Ollie's room "you ok buddy?" He was of course playing his games "that needs to come off in an hour" he nodded. The house was so peaceful, I cant remember it being this quiet. "Everythings all sorted, want to just watch movies in bed after dinner?" I nodded way to enthusiastically "never knew you could be this organised" Owen threw me a disapproving look.

Who knew picking a movie could be so hard? "Forget the movie" Owens tone made me flinch. He immediately wrapped his arms round me. "Stop worrying about me, I'm fine" "you're not, but well get through it! Us boys need you" he started to play with my hair, his voice was sleepy. I slowly drifted to sleep as he kept playing with my hair.

"Stop! No! My boys! You dont have to do this. Stop it." "AMELIA" my body shot up, I was dripping in sweat and my heart was racing. "What's wrong? You were kicking and screaming in your sleep" Owen's body was sat up next to mine, he looked worried. I couldnt catch my breathe. "Here drink this" Owen pushed a glass of water in my hands.

"I'm ok, just a bad dream" I threw my body back into the bed pulling Owen down with me "you were thinking about him?" My eyes widened and looked out the window "I'm ok" I sighed. I dread to think how he would react if I told him this isnt the first nightmare. "You're not! You dont have to cover it" I tried to hold my tears in, as my body ached all over again. "I'm here, dont worry it's never going to happen again" I rest my head on Owen's chest.

He let me cry as he was trying so hard not to fall back asleep. I lifted my head to see his phone. 2am not bad, four hours sleep. The most I've had in a week. "Go back to sleep" I kissed his cheek and within seconds he was snoring again. All I could do was stare at a pitch black wall, there is no chance I'll be getting some sleep.

I managed to get out of his grip, I grabbed my dressing gown and wondered downstairs. Checking on the boys on my way down. I made a cuppa tea and sat on the couch. I think I need to go to therapy or something. I cant live like this.

I started to clean, otherwise if I sat there I would just relive the flashbacks. My brain was wide awake now. I did as much as I could one handed. I repacked the boys lunches since there was too many sweets and chocolate in there. I stared at the treadmill in the conservatory, I suppose a little run wont harm.

Luckily my pyjamas were comfy enough to run in. Every deep breathe I took, my ribs hurt and my chest got tighter. I kept pushing myself until I couldnt bare it anymore.

I stepped off the treadmill "what are you doing?" I turned to a very annoyed Owen "you know you cant do anything strenuous plus its 5 o'clock in the morning!" I pouted at Owen. "How long you been up?" His hands never left his hips. "Urm three hours?" His face dropped "go get some rest!" He held my hand and pulled me to the couch. "Im going for my morning run. Be back soon babe" he kissed me on the cheek and left.

I just want to get back to reality, but no again I'm trapped in my own house.