Who Knew Rugby Could Be So Complicated?

Past is the past

I woke up in my own bed, I remembered what happened last night and started crying again. The house was so quiet, he must of put me to bed and left. I was a mess. Why cant the past just leave me alone? But I suppose it does always haunt you no matter how far away you go. You can run but never hide.

My bedroom door squeaked. I hid under the covers like it was some kind of invisibility cloak. "Morning beautiful, I made breakfast" I slowly unwrapped my new invisibility cloak to find Owen stood there topless holding a tray of bacon and eggs. I was so glad to see him. At least he didnt run a mile. He climbed back into my bed and we both scoffed the breakfast which tasted delicious who knew he could even cook, I thought his housekeeper would do all the cooking.

I didnt know what to say to him, how could he even still want to be around? My life is a mess, no one would blame him if he walked out the door and never contact me again. He took the plate off my lap and placed it on the floor. "What happened last night doesnt change anything you know. That was your past and it was absolutely shit. But we can build a better future. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger" he lifted my chin up. I could stare into his eyes for hours. "You're better than them. You've got through it" I replied with a "mmhmm" not sounding so sure. His face leaned into mine, his breathe smelt like bad morning breathe and eggs. So attractive.

His lips were hovering over mine. I could feel his warm breathe on my face. My heart started racing. I rested the palm if my hand on his chest, his heart was racing too. Our lips locked. Fireworks went off in my stomach. He was so gentle and passionate. My fingers ran through his messy morning hair. Any gap between our bodies closed. It got quite heated, even though it felt so right it felt so wrong at the same time. Last time I was in this situation I was with Harry. It felt like seconds but I knew it wasnt. "Told you it be worth it" he winked. I laughed at his arrogance. We laid down, I was lying in his chest.

The door bell rang "please not again" I pleaded. Owen got up disturbing my comfy position and went down stairs. I heard some mumbles of another person but nothing serious. Until Owen shouted "NO leave her alone" who was he shouting at? My heart was racing please tell me he isnt back. Owen ran up the stairs he looked agitated. "Apparently it was your mum?" I suddenly forgot to breathe. "She wants to apologise, she wants to talk to you" I shook my head as I tried to breathe but started hyperventilating. Owen encouraged me to breathe. "Hes told her where I live! I dont want anything to do with them! Why cant I just be left alone" when will I stop crying. He handed me two letters with hand written addresses on:

My dearest Amelia,
I know I didnt support you. I know I took you for granted. You are the best thing to happen to me! We can work this out. You know we are meant to be. You will come back to me one day and the day you do I will be waiting.
Love from
The love of your life
H xx

I crumpled up the letter and threw it as hard as I could at the wall.

Amelia,
Please come home, we all miss you. It's been 5 years and I've only just found you. Please let me be the mother you need. I have left him. He isnt a part of our life anymore. Please come home.
My number hasnt changed, give me a call to let me know you're ok
Love from
Mum x

I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom and emptied the bacon and eggs into the toilet. "Its ok" Owen rubbed my back and held back my hair. "Well get through this"

I couldnt go through this again, last time was the last time. I didnt have the strength. But I suppose this time I have Owen beside me.