You're Not Enough

Chapter 1

" Before we close out this meeting, I would like to announce to those of you who may not know, Jayda is leaving the facility today!" The blue-eyed man says.

The ten people sitting in this circle clap their hands, applauding me, including my blue-eyed mentor Mr.Dale. "She's been here for six months and has completed every part of the program. There were challenges along the way, but she overcame them." he smiles at me.

Everyone starts clapping their hands... again. They have the brightest smiles on their faces. I fake my best smile. God kill me now.

No, seriously, kill me now!

....

I'm upstairs in the four-wall luxurious room they gave me, packing the last bit of my things. I look around the room, making sure I haven't forgotten anything. Everything is packed; now, all I have to do is wait. I'm anxious to leave.

My room door bursts open. It is my roommate Blair. "You're still here? I thought you would've been gone by now." She says.

I sigh. "Nope, still here. My parents are stuck in traffic or something." At least that's what they told me when I called them after group.

"Well, at least, I get to spend more time with you before you leave me in this hell hole."

I laugh and then plop on my bed. "You'll be out soon. You have what..., two more weeks?" Blair has been here way longer than me. A year almost. When I first got here, she was sort of my guide. I followed her everywhere; she taught me the ropes of psyching the Psychiatrist. Without her, there is no way I would've gotten out of here on schedule. Yeah, my mom and dad paid for six months, but if the doctors felt that it wasn't safe for me to go home or that I wasn't ready, they would've had to extend my stay, and my release date would've been pushed back.

"Yeah, but you know that's like an eternity." she groans. "God, I can't wait to get back into my high heels and get a face full of makeup. Oh, and I need my hair trimmed, and my eyebrows arched. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the hundreds of dress changes I'll have to do in a day. Not to mention those long-ass fashion shows."

I don't know why Blair models. She doesn't seem to enjoy it much. On the outside, yes, she looks like a model. She is 5' 10; she has long blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. She is truly the definition of a runway model. But the way she talks about it, it's clear she hates it. So why does she do something she hates? "Enough about me. What are you going to do when you get out?" She raises her eyebrow at me.

"Blair, you already know," I say in a low voice; there's a rumor that there are mics in the rooms and that the doctors listen to our conversations; I don't know how true it is, and I don't want to find out.

"Yeah, but I was hoping you changed your mind," she whines.

"I haven't."

"I mean, you could keep living." she smiles at me. I shake my head. "Okay, hear me out, look at me. I'm great. I want to live now. Yeah, I swallowed a dozen pills purposefully then drank some wine. But it was stupid, I was in a bad state at that time, and I acted on impulse. And that 'not eating phase,' " she waves her hands through the air. "It's a thing of the past. Anyway, I want to live. I see that now. I'm only nineteen. I still have my whole life ahead of me. Not to mention there's a sexy brunette waiting for me back in Russia." Her eyes brighten, just talking about Emily. "How could I possibly leave her?"

"Well, I have nothing to live for; there's nothing I want to live for," I explain to her.

"Not even your parents?" she asks.

"Not even my parents," I repeat, answering her question. I love them; I do—I come from a pretty good family. My mom's a lawyer, and my dad's a businessman. He owns dealerships all over the country. We have money, more than I think we need. I've always gotten everything I've asked for. They worked their asses off, making sure I'd never want for anything. I had a pretty good relationship with them until I turned thirteen. When I turned thirteen, they became distant. They stayed away more; they traveled more for work. When they did come around, they could barely look at me.