You're Not Enough

Chapter 54

NYU sounds great. I've been sitting at my desk reading over the information my counselor printed out for me. Everything seems lovely; everything looks fantastic. I could live a beautiful life here. I could live here away, from everything and everyone—just me.

But will I be happy? Will all my problems go away by just moving, leaving them behind.

I don't think they will.

Leaving behind everything here in Crossland won't solve anything. I'll just find more challenges waiting for me in New York.

In the real world— a world without high school.

Going to NYU won't change anything. I can't go there and expect my life to be automatically fixed. I'll still feel the same way I do now— empty.

There's a knock at my door. I quickly stuff the papers into my folder. The door opens; it's my mother.

"Hey, just checking on you," she says while walking into my room.

"I'm okay," I say.

"What are you doing?" she asks and then looks at my desk.

"Nothing, I was just finishing up my homework." I lie.

"Oh." There's a look of worry on her face. She takes a seat on my bed. She looks like she wants to say or ask me something, but she's hesitating.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask, pushing her along.

"I know your father has already talked to you about this. But we have been talking, and we both feel like you should really try medication." She says.

I sigh and roll my eyes. "No, no. I don't want any medication. I'm not taking it." There is anger and frustration in my voice.

"Why not?" she sighs.

"I already told dad, I don't like how it makes me feel."

"Well, of course, we wouldn't put you on the same medication; we'll try something new."

"Okay, and when that medication doesn't work, I'll have to try something else." I snap. "You can't guarantee that this medication will work. There's a high possibility that it won't work, which means that I will have to try something else eventually, and after that, I will have to try something else."

"Well, you have to start somewhere."

"I won't have to start anywhere because there's nothing to start. I'm not taking medication." I narrow my eyes at her, challenging her to say more. She takes a deep breath and gets off the bed, then walks out of my room without saying anything more.

...

As I walk down the stairs, I see both of my parents sitting at the table silently. Neither of them says a word to me.

"Goodmorning," I say, getting them to acknowledge me. They both look at me and give me a quick smile. I walk over to the island and grab two pieces of bacon off the plate.

"I think we should go ahead and get this over with." My father says as soon as I eat a piece. I look at both of them.

"Marcus, not now." My mother says.

"Yes, now, we mind as well." he looks at me. "Jayda, you will be going on medication— today." He says.

"What? You can't make me take medication!" I snap.

"Actually, yes, we can—one, your not 18, and two, you've been officially declared medically incompetent."

My mother sighs, and she rests her head between her hands. She doesn't even look at me. I look back at my father, I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.