You're Not Enough

Chapter 49

The counselor's suite.

I've been going to this school for four years, and I've only been in here once, well twice, including this time. The suite is filled with the 9th-12th grade counselors, along with the senior's college counselor. The chair I am sitting on is really comfy. I don't remember this blue chair being here last time. It must be new, Ms. Moore probably bought new furniture with that money my dad gave her, well gave the school.

One of the office doors comes open. I stand up from my seat. A lady comes outs. She has thick long black hair. She is wearing black pants and a yellow top. "Jayda King?" she says.

"Yeah." I stand up from my chair.

"I'm Ms. Rodriguez, your guidance counselor, and the counselor for all the young ladies here." She stretches out her hand. I shake it. "Follow me."

She turns around. I follow her back into the room that she walked out of. When we enter, my eyes immediately go to her wall. She has three certificates plastered on them. I can't see what they say because they're too far away.

Or I'm just blind, I have glasses at home, but I never wear them. I should start, though. I'm tired of squinting at everything.

She takes a seat behind her desk, and I take a seat in the chair in front. "So I'm glad I'm finally able to talk to you. I was trying to get you last week, Tuesday after lunch, but I couldn't find you," she says.

"Oh." Is all I can say. I can't tell my counselor that I skipped school. I should have never skipped school in the first place—another stupid decision to add to my stupid decisions list.

"But I'm happy I'm able to meet with you today. I called you down here because I wanted to discuss your future with you. Your college plans."

"Shouldn't I be talking to the college counselor about that?" I ask—She isn't the college counselor; she's basically just a therapist for the female students. I don't need a therapist. I already have one, and I'm talking to her today. I don't have the patience to be bombarded with questions from her and Rachel, especially on the same day.

"Yes and no. Mr. Simms helps the students find and apply to college. He helps them with their essays, scholarships, and financial aid for the students who need them. I'm not really here to discuss those things with you."

"So what else about college do I need to know that I can't just discuss with Mr. Simms?" I know there's irritation in my voice, but I am getting irritated; that is one emotion I'm not good at hiding.

"Well, Mr. Simms brought to my attention that you have not yet applied for any colleges. Why is that?" she asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I haven't made a decision yet." Her question makes me think of what I found out at dinner last week with Caleb and the Whitmore's. I forgot to ask my dad about it. He said he reached out to colleges for me. I never asked him what colleges or why he decided to take it upon himself and pick out colleges for me without consulting me.

"Well, time is of the essence; colleges have already opened their enrollment. Do you not already have colleges in mind? Usually, people start thinking about what colleges they want to go to Junior year."

"Well, I wasn't here junior year." Even if I were here junior year, I wouldn't have thought of any colleges.

I don't see myself having a future, so why would I plan for one.

"Right, You left mid junior year, your parents sent you to boarding school, and now you are back."

"Right," I say and look around, trying to keep a poker face. I always tense up and get all sweaty when someone asks me about boarding school. I never know what they're going to ask. I don't even know what to tell them when they ask me what the school's name is. I would give them the name of the facility, but if they look it up, the first thing they will see is mental health facility. Plus, the name Second Chances doesn't really sound like a boarding school name.