You're Not Enough

Chapter 80

"I just I just don't understand why I have to go back." I wipe the tears from my eyes. My father pulls the car over and then takes the key out of the ignition.

"We explained it to you, Jay," he says.

"But I'm making good grades; I'm still doing my work... I"

"Yes, but your attendance, if you miss a certain amount of days, you fail for the year,"

I can't even look at him; I keep my eyes focused on the car floor.

"But it's excused; it's medical!"

He takes a deep breath. "It's not," he says softly.

I look up at him. "What? But you said.."

"I know what I said, but about a week ago, Ms.Moore called to inform me that the board isn't looking at your absence as medical."

"What? Wh-- Why not?" I stutter. "I have seizures!" Why would they not look at it as medical?

"Yes, but your seizures are not brought on because of health reasons... at least not physical health reasons."

I narrow my eyes at him. "So, are you telling me they dont view mental health," I emphasize the word health. "As being a real health problem?"

He stays quiet. I lean back in my chair and sigh.

"I'm sorry; if there were something I could do, I would," he says. This time I stay quiet. "I think you're ready, though. You've been doing good at home—Rachel has given us good reports from your sessions. I think you'll do fine." he puts the key back into the ignition and starts the car. Once a white car passes us, he pulls back onto the street and continues driving.

Did Rachel tell them I've been doing good? Does she think that I can handle school? Of course, she does. I've been pretending like everything has been fine. I haven't told her that I started back cutting. Though knowing Rachel, I'm sure she knows. Then again, she can't. She wouldn't send me back to school, knowing I am not stable enough. Would she?

This explains why she was asking me about Ashely. Rachel knew I was going back to school soon, and I guess she didn't want me to go back and still have a hatred for Ashely.

Her exercise didn't work; I still hate her.

I don't care about what she's going through. In the end, she will pay for what she has done. She won't get back what she deserves from me. I'm not going to fight her again. I highly doubt I would've fought her if I wasn't on that medication. I remember exactly what the doctor in New York said.

"We have run numerous amounts of tests, and we didn't find anything health-wise... well physical health-wise that explains the seizures." Doctor Blake explains.

"So, what caused it?" My father asks with irritation in his voice. We've been here for days, so it's expected.

"Well, you guys stated that she was on Clexa, right?" My parents nod there, heads. "Well, sometimes, antidepressants can cause seizures." The doctor says the words slowly.

"But that isn't a side effect of Clexa!" My mother blurts out.

"Well, ma'am, all medications affect people differently. When we add side effects to medicine, we add them because that's what we have seen from that specific medicine," he explains what I told her already. "We see different, new effects all the time. It isn't really reliable. So when you look up side effects for medication, don't look at it and say, 'Oh, this is as all that can happen if I take this medication.' You should look at it and be like, 'This is what could happen and then some.'"