You're Not Enough

Chapter 39

I'm sitting inside Ryder's car. My books are on my lap. I never thought I would be here again. I pluck the black polish on my nails. I'm so nervous, why would I agree to this?

If my dad finds out, he'll kill me for sure. My mom will kill me because I skipped school, my dad will kill me because I'm with the boy he told me to stay away from several times.

It feels like we're driving into an abyss. At least I feel like that, he knows where we are going, but I don't.

"So have you skipped before?" I ask. I asked that question before thinking about it. Of course, he's skipped before. Why would I ask him that? Stupid. He doesn't answer; he just looks at me then back to the road. "I'll take that as a yes," I say sarcastically and roll my eyes. I stare out the window. My phone vibrates.

*I had fun last night -Caleb

My eyes look over to Ryder. I'm glad he didn't see the name on my screen. I look back at the phone. I feel bad. Should I? I mean, its not like Calebs, my boyfriend, or anything, and Ryder surely isn't mine, so I haven't done anything wrong.

*Me too

I turn my phone off and lookup, the car isn't moving anymore. We are in the parking lot of our town's community park. "A park?" I question. He again doesn't say anything; he gets out of the car swiftly. I open the car door also and follow behind him into the park. This is the last place I expected to go. "You know if you're not going to talk to me, you can take me back."

"You haven't said anything that warrants a response," The tall figure says without turning around. I follow behind him, with my arms crossed. We walk on the designated pathway that circles the park.

"Why did we come here?" I ask.

"I like it," he says. I laugh. He stops walking. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just...I never pictured you as a park person." I look him up and down.

"Well, just like I don't know things about you, there's a lot that you don't know about me," he says, aggrieved.

...

We are walking now at the same pace, side by side. We have passed four people. I've been paying attention, none of them know who I am, I didn't know who they were, that's good. Some of my parent's country club friends do yoga here. I don't remember what days, though.

"Have you been here before?" Ryder asks me.

"Yeah, I used to... well, my mom and dad used to bring me here all the time, well, whenever they were home, we would come out here and have a picnic, right over there." I point at the biggest tree in the middle of the park. Memories flash through my head at the times we spent under that tree.

Every time they came home, when we were all together, we always came out here and had a picnic under that tree. They stopped taking me here even before they started spending more time away from home. I don't know why we stopped; maybe they thought I wouldn't want to come out here anymore because I was getting older.

Like always, they didn't ask what I wanted. I would love to come out here and spend time with them. The more memories they have of me, the better. "So, why do you like coming out here?" I ask him.

He looks at me and says, "It's pretty,"

"It is," I agree.

...

"Why did you come after me?" I rest my back against the tree and slide onto the ground. He sits next to me, not close, though.

"I don't know. I just wanted to make sure you were ok," He bites his bottom lip.