You're Not Enough

Chapter 43

I smooth the skinny black dress I am wearing down with my hands. I tug at the end, trying to pull it down more. It's short. I haven't worn this dress in forever. The last time I wore it was at my grandmother's funeral last August. It's September now, so it's been a year since she passed.

I miss her; she and my grandfather would visit us every year, a week before Christmas. It will be weird to see my grandfather this year without her.

I can't imagine the pain he is going through. I mean, I have never been in love, but it must be hard to lose the love of your life, your best friend.

They were together for 60 years, which was most of their life; my grandfather and grandmother were the same age, 72. They meet in middle school in sixth grade. My grandfather always said that he knew she was the love of his life, even at a young age.

He made mistakes, though, he and she. They weren't a perfect couple. They always told me that. "We went through hell." My grandfather always said. "But it was a beautiful hell because we were in it together," My grandmother would add.

"Jayda, come help me seat up the table!" My mother yells from downstairs. I tug at my dress one more time before going downstairs.

"I can't believe you invited him." I hear my father say as my foot touches the last step. My father looks at me. "Oh no, take that off." He instructs.

"Why?" I questions

"Because look at it." He points at my dress. "It's too short. Obviously, you've outgrown it, and do you think it's appropriate to wear the dress that you wore to my mother's funeral."

"It's the only drees I have," I growl. "And you said, no pants."

My father sighs.

"I think it will be fine." My mother chimes trying to add water to the fire. She walks over and rubs my back. "Now please set the table,"

...

Ding Dong.

"I'll get it," I say. My palms are sweaty. I'm so nervous. It's Caleb. I saw him pull up. Maybe I shouldn't have worn a dress, I should've just worn pants, my father would've been upset, but he would've gotten over it. Is my dress really too short? I look down at myself again and tug on it as hard as I can, to try to add some length to it.

If only I wasn't so curvy.

I open the door. Caleb has on black jeans and a white polo shirt, it's not the classiest outfit, I know my mother will have something to say about it, but I love it. He looks very handsome. I realize I'm staring at him, and I haven't said anything; I wouldn't feel so embarrassed if he wasn't also staring at me and me.

"You look beautiful." He finally says.

My cheeks warm, and I smile. "You do too." Wait. What? "I mean, you look nice." I correct my awkward comment. He smiles.

"Great, you're here. You can help Jayda finish setting up." My mother says from behind me. She grabs the door and opens it wider. Caleb walks in. We both walk over to the table. I hand him the placemats.

"How many?" He asks.

"Seven," I answer him.

"So who is this dinner for? Your mom seems pretty-"

"Extra," I say before he can.

"You said it, not me." He says. I let out a low chuckle. I look over to my mom, who is pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She has her heels on, so they are clicking loudly against the hardwood floor. She is wearing her fancy red Michel Kor's dress, and she has on the diamond earring my father bought her last year for their anniversary.

Her hair is bone straight today. It took her almost 2 hours to turn her curls into paper straight strands.

"This is kind of like a business dinner." I explain, "My dad owns dealerships, and he's trying to trade or partner with the guy who is coming over." I tell him.

"Dealerships?"

"Yeah, uh, I'm sure you have seen them... Fit For A King."

"Your dad owns those?" he asks, shocked.

I hate telling people that "Yes. Hence the last name King," I say. I really despise telling people that my dad owns those dealerships. It makes me feel like something that I'm not. People just assume I'm like perfect because I come from a perfect wealthy family. If only they knew the truth about what really happens between closed doors.

"Well, that's cool. Why don't you have your own car? Doesn't he technically own all those cars? Cant you get anyone you want?"

"I don't think that's how it works. I'm not sure, though. But uh, I don't have a license. "I place the last mat down along with the two forks, two knives, and one spoon. I will never understand why so much silverware is needed.

"Why not?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulders at his question.

"Jayda, can you go see what is taking your father so long?" my mother askes.

"Sure." I walk away from the table happily and up the stairs. I don't like it when people ask me a lot of questions. There is a reason I haven't done a lot of things in my life. But I can't share that reason with people. It's my secret. Well, not mine solely anymore. Ryder knows. I told him, but not because I trust him, I just...I, I don't know why I told him. It was stupid to tell him anything about me; I don't know why I expected him to understand. What did I expect him to do?

I walk right into my father's room. "What the-?

"Jayda. Knock." he swiftly grabs his shirt off of the bed and tries to put it on, but he can't get it on fast enough.

"What is that on you back?" I question. I look at the scratches on his back. I laugh and then ask, "Did you get attacked by a bear?"

He walks over to me, with his shirt unbuttoned; there are dark marks on his chest. "No, I did not get attacked by a bear." He says.

"So, what is that?" I ask him again.

"Something you don't need to worry about." He forcefully but gently pushes me out of the room and closes the door.

Did my mother do that to him? I shake my head, trying to get my parent's sex life out of my brain.

...

Ding Dong

The doorbell rings again. I take a deep breath and stand up from the table.

"Be nice." My mother and father both say as they walk to the door. I stand up from the dinner table, but I don't go to the door with them. I hear them greet our guests at the door.

"Should I stand?" Caleb whispers to me.

"No." He probably should, but he doesn't need to.

"Jayda!" The familiar red-headed girl runs from across the room over into my arms. It takes a while before I hug her back. It's not really a hug though I tap her on the back. She releases me.

"I missed you," she says. I just smile. I don't want to lie, so I am not going to say I missed her back. I didn't.

"Nice to see you again, young lady." Paul Washington says to me, holding out his hand.

"Nice to see you again too," I repeat.

"Yes, we missed you while you were away studying abroad," Jeanie says.

I look up to my mother and father, and with their eyes, they both say, "Just go along with it."

I don't respond to her comment. I just smile. "And who is this?" Katie asks. I turn around and see her across the table, staring at Caleb. He smiles at her. "I'm Caleb.," he says and holds his hand out to her; he's standing up. She shakes his hand, but not how I shook Paul's hand. Hers is more seductive. I can't help the hint of jealousy I feel rising in the pit of my stomach.