You're Not Enough

Chapter 16

"So, what happened?" Violet asks from across the lunch table.

"Mr.Brooks gave us till Friday to turn in the first chapter. If Ryder doesn't do it, he won't play in the game.

"He won't play in the game?" James says, shocked.

"Yup."

"Brooks does know this game is against Ravenswood, right?" Liam says, chiming in.

It's weird having a conversation with a group of people, even though it's a small group. I never had lunch with anybody but myself; even before I started isolating myself from others, I never was with one group, I never had one clique.

Ive always just... floated around.

I've known James since the 9th grade, and I have known Liam since the 10th. Yet I have never had a conversation with either of them. At least I don't recall ever speaking to them. If we did, it was through passing.

"I don't know. He probably does, but he just doesn't care." I answer his question, looking down at my bowl of grapes.

"Well, hopefully, he stops being so stubborn and does the book with you. If he doesn't, theres no way the team will win Friday without him." James says.

"True," Violet agrees.

"So, are we gonna go?"

"I don't see why not." Violet looks at Liam, asking him if he is free also.

"Yeah, I'm free," he says, looking at her. She smiles, and he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She giggles when he kisses her on the cheek.

"You in Jayda?" She asks me while still giggling.

"Uh, I don't. I can't..."

"Awwww, come on, please." She begs.

"Come on, Jayda. You have to get back out there. You have to let them know that Jayda King is still the same bad bitch as before." James says while applying more lipgloss to his lips.

How could he possibly need anymore? His lips are still shiny.

I sigh then look at Violet then to James. "I can't, I have a lot to do, and my parents would never let me go." I highly doubt my parents will let me go. They don't want me out of their sight. My dad flipped when mom left me in the house by myself.

"Ja--," James starts to say.

"James, if she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go," Violet says. She looks at me and says, "We understand." with comforting eyes.

...

"King!" My name is called as soon as I walk into the gym. I walk over to my gym teacher. She has on a white Nike tracksuit. It looks good on her; it brings out her chocolate skin. Ive always wished my skin was darker. I'm not light skin, but I'm not dark either. I'm right in the mild, brown.

"Your uniform just came in, go to the locker room and change." My gym teacher says.

"Ms. Robinson, is there any way I can sit out today?" I ask.

I hate PE.

"Not if you want to get your credit for Physical Education. You have already missed so many days." She says

"It's ok." It really is. I have missed a lot of classes, and I can't afford to miss anymore.

"Here, take my key; your uniform is in my office."

She hands me a silver key; I walk over to her office on the other side of the gymnasium. When I get there, I use the key to unlock the door; as soon as I do, I spot my uniform folded nicely on her desk. I walk over and grab the black shirt that says Crossland with swords crossing into an X and grab the plain black shorts.

Before leaving, I lock the office back and walk out of the gym and down the hall to the girl's bathroom. When I enter, I see Ashely, Kelly, and Monica. Their conversation halts as soon as they see me. They eye me up and down.

Ashley opens her mouth to speak first. "So you are partners with my boyfriend." she doesn't say it as a question more a statement. She knows I'm his partner; we are in the same class.

"Yes."

She walks up closer to me. "And that's all you two will be, partners, nothing more, and if you try something, I will make your life worse than it is now, and you'll be back at the boarding school or wherever the hell you were, before the year is over." She bums my shoulder while walking past me; Monica and Kelly follow behind her.

I take a deep breath before going into one of the stalls. I start taking off my clothes and changing; Ashely doesn't intimidate me; okay, maybe sometimes she does but not in an ' I'm scared of her' way or something.

I'm not afraid of death, so why would I be scared of her.

I don't know why she would think I want more to happen between Ryder and me. I don't want to be with anybody, and if I did, it surely wouldn't be him. He's rude, mean, disrespectful, and just selfish.

The uniform is kind of tight, but it fits. I'm glad I decided to get an activewear jacket with our school logo on it. I can't wear short sleeve shirts, especially not after last night. The cuts on my wrist are swollen. The lines are thick. It kind of looks like a red rash but with lines.

I step out of the stall and look into the wide mirror. I zip up my jacket before walking out of the bathroom. I'm back at the gym now. I keep tugging at my shorts; they keep rising. I should've gotten a bigger size. The last thing I need is to cause more attention to myself. I stuff my regular clothes into my bookbag.

When I look up, my eyes meet exactly with Ryders. I quickly look down. Why is he watching me? He looks upset. Why is he mad? I haven't done or said anything.

It doesn't matter; he has nothing to do with me. Maybe he wasn't looking at me, and I'm just being paranoid. Why isn't he on the court with everyone else?

Damn it, there I go again, I don't care.

Whatever he is doing has nothing to do with me. I zip up my bookbag and jog over onto the court. Ms. Robinson pulls up a cart filled with basketballs, and I instantly regret not just skipping.

I hate basketball.

...

I'm at my locker collecting the books that I need to take home. I'm so happy school is over; I didn't get much homework. But I got enough. I won't be staying up all night, like usually trying to complete homework.

"So, do you want to go to the diner?" Violet walks up, startling me, "Liam is taking me. I just wanted to see if you maybe wanted to tag along." she asks while removing her glasses and placing them into her sweater pocket.

"I can't," I tell her. I really can't go even if I wanted to. I have to go to that dumbass therapy session.

If I didn't have to, I would go. I think.

The bright smile Violet had on her face disappears. I hope she doesn't think I'm avoiding her or that I don't want to hang out with her. I do. But I have my therapy session.

I wish I could just tell her, but I can't.

I'm still trying to accept the fact that this is my friend. Trust is not something that I give out easily. I could tell her the truth about everything, and then she could go and tell everyone else.

Violets not that type of person, though at least I don't think she would ever do something to betray me.

People can deceive you; people pretend to be something that they're not all the time; they hide behind a mask and then eventually reveal the monster underneath.

'Hey babe, you ready?" Liam walks up behind Violet.

She looks at Liam and then back to me. "Yeah." she grabs her bag off the floor and walks past me.

"I'll call you later," I say, trying to ease the disappointment that is plastered on her face. She turns around, smiles, and then continues down the hall with Liam.