You're Not Enough

Chapter 47

"Get the hell away from her!" Caleb yells.

I expect Ryder to let go of me, but he doesn't. He just holds me tighter and pulls me closer to him.

"Ryder, let go of me," I say lowly before Caleb comes close.

"No." He growls firmly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Caleb asks him and then looks at me and asks, "Did you call him?"

"She didn't call me," Ryder answers for me.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here?" Caleb shouts; I look at his hand; they are balled tightly into a fist.

Ryder acerbically says "I came to see her,"

"She doesn't want to be around you; what are you not getting?" Caleb shouts with rage, clearly in his tone.

"Oh, and she wants to be around you. Trust me. She doesn't." Ryder snarls, speaking for me. I tug trying to get him to let me go; he doesn't.

"You don't know shit about her," Caleb spits out.

"I know more than you think... I know more than you do," Ryder snaps back. I hate to say it, but he's right; he does know more than Caleb does, not because I wanted him to, but that's just how it happened.

Caleb moves closer to us, and I feel Ryder move closer to Caleb. I push on Ryder's chest, keeping him back. This can't happen.  Especially with me in the middle. "No," I say to him and push harder. "Please just go,"

"No!"

"I don't want you here!" My voice cracks as I say the words. He stares at me with his dark eyes. They don't look green as they always do; they look black, empty. He looks past me at Caleb then back to me. The emptiness that was once in his eyes is gone; now, all I see is rage

"Fine." he snaps. "You don't want me here. I'll go. You don't want me to ever speak to you again. I won't." Somehow I doubt that. "I don't give a shit about you; I could care less about whatever the hell you do." His lips press together in a line, and then he opens his mouth and says. "You could go kill yourself for all I care." and then releases my arm.

Even with the huge lump in my throat, I open my mouth and say "I don't want to kill myself,"

"Well, if you don't know now, trust me, you soon will," he says. "I promise you I'll make your life a living hell; you'll wish you were dead." His words are like gaggers stabbing me where it hurts. He walks across the street and gets into his car—the car speeds off down the wet road. I stare at it until its bright headlights fade away.

I don't move.

I don't turn around.

He wants me to kill myself. Out of all the hurtful things he's said to me, that was the worst. I never thought he would use that against me. He knows the most vulnerable thing about me, and he used it against me. The silent tears fall down my face, my eyes string from all the crying and rain.

Arms wrap around me. My whole body goes numb; I can't feel his comforting arms because I'm paralyzed. I know it's Caleb, but his touch is numb. It doesn't feel warm as it usually does. I feel nothing at his embrace. He turns me around and pulls me into his chest. I cry harder, louder.

...

I stare up at my white ceiling; I want time to stop; I want everything to freeze. I try not to think about last night. But I can't forget it, the pains of the night flood through my head. Everything that happened just replays in my head like a skipping CD, repeatedly playing the same tune unable to move forward.