You're Not Enough

Chapter 63

(Empire State of Mind-Jay Z)

We're in a Taxi Cab driving down the busy street, 8th street. There are buildings everywhere; I've never seen this many buildings in one place. There are so many people; to my left, there are people; to my right, there are even more people. My heart beats faster, just at the site. Not a bad faster but a good faster. If that even makes sense.

I'm so excited; my stomach is fluttering. I'm astonished at everything. We've passed like twenty hot dog stands since the airport: There's a man dressed up as the statue of liberty on the side of the corner he's holding a sign in his hand. We turn right onto a street that has even more people than the road before. How is that possible?

I spot a group of people, a band; they're playing music right in front of the subway. People are standing around dancing to the music—some throw money into an open guitar. Everyone over there looks different; no one looks like the other, with different backgrounds, ethnicities, and styles, but they all make up one beautiful sight.

We continue driving forward. There's a huge sign hanging on a building. It reads Julliard Presents: The Phantom of the Opera Tonight at 9.

We drive farther down the street and stop at a red light. We stop right in front of a little café that has a few people sitting outside. Most of the people sitting out there look young. I notice one girl with brown skin and curly hair, just like mine. She's typing on her computer; her shirt says NYU. She's an NYU student!

For a second, I place myself in that exact seat, with my NYU sweatshirt, and my computer, studying for a test or homework, sipping on coffee. That could be me. I could live here. Maybe I could do this.

I can.

For the first time, I can see it clearly. Why can I see it clearly now? Maybe... maybe it's the medication. It's blocking out my darkest thoughts, and now the bright ones can shine through.

The light turns green, and we drive away from the little café.

...

"Roosevelt Hotel." The scruffy New York man says. We pull up to this massive building; I've been to hotels before but never one this big.

"Thank you." My father says. He pays the man as my mother, and I slide out of the cab. Everything looks much better outside of the car. I stand in the middle of the sidewalk and take it all in. I take a deep breath and think back to what Alexander said; he said that New York would take your breath away; it'll seem like your breathing for the first time.  He was right; it is taking my breath away.

"This probably isn't the type of air you should be breathing in, Jay," My father says.

He hands me my suitcase. He waits for me to laugh, but I don't. I would laugh at his comment, but I'm still mad at him. I take the suitcase and roll it into the hotel. My eyes go straight to the large chandelier that hangs from the ceiling. It's massive, but yet it's hanging.

"I'll take that, Miss." A concierge comes over to me and takes my suitcase out of my hand.

"Oh, I got it," I tell him.

"Miss, it's my job." The man says to me. I don't like people waiting on me; it doesn't seem right I'm capable of holding my own stuff; he really doesn't have to. But it is his job. I let go of my bag; he grabs it and smiles at me. My father and mother walk in. The concierge takes their bags also.

"I'll go check us in." My father says. He walks past me and over to the check-in desk.

"It still looks the same." My mother says, looking around.