You're Not Enough

Chapter 74

I take a huge breath, taking in air as if it's the first breath I have ever made—a woman with a lab coat walks right over to me. I keep trying to catch my breath, but I can't; I continue gasping for air.

"Jayda, sweetie, your alright. Just breathe, breathe, okay." She pushes my sweaty hair back out of my face. "You are at NYC Bellevue Hospital," she says. I continue trying to catch my breath, but I can't.

My body starts to shake rapidly against the bed. What is happening? I'm scared I want my mom, I want my dad. She walks away from me and over to the door, sliding it back. "I need Doctor Blake in here!" she yells out.

I continue to gasp. I can't catch my breath. Why can't I breathe? "Why the fuck can't I come in?" A familiar voice yells. I know that voice; it's Ryder. "Once we get her stable, you can come in." A man's voice says. No, I want him to come in, I do. At least it's someone I know, and I'm scared; I don't want to be alone.

What if this is it and I die alone? Well, I'm not alone, but I don't want to die around people I don't know. The doctor walks in and slides the door shut.

My body continues to shake, and I am still trying to catch my breath. "Jayda, I'm doctor Blake." He says. "You're going to be alright. I'm just going to give you a sedative, okay. it's going to put you to sleep for a while."

The nurse comes around and presses a clear liquid into my arm. My eyes stop fluttering, and then everything goes dark... again.

...

"I told her to tell you guys. I did. She said she was okay and that all she was feeling was nausea. I'm so sorry I should've made her say something, or I should've just told you myself... I'm sorry." I hear Blair say. "I didn't think this would happen." Who is she talking to? I haven't opened my eyes yet; I don't want to, I'm scared to. The sedative has worn off now; I can breathe, finally.

I always took breathing for granted, but now that I know how it feels without it, I never want to go without it again.

"And you?" My father says. They're here; my parents are here. "You took my daughter somewhere without our permission?" he says angrily. That's not what happened.

"I didn't think she needed your permission." Ryder snarls.

"Were her parents, and she's 17. Of course, she would need our permission. Especially if she is going somewhere with you." My father snaps.

"Marcus." My mother scorns him. "This isn't their fault. Jayda, keep this from us."

"I mean, why would she not tell us she had an interview with NYU!" My father is now raising his voice. I'm not opening my eyes. I don't want to; they're mad at me. I don't want to see the angry scowls that I know they have on their face. I hear my father take a deep breath, and then the room door slides open. "Mr. and Mrs.King, could I talk to you for a second?" It's Doctor Blake. I remember his voice. I hear footsteps depart from the room, and the room door closes.

I open my eyes now that my parents have left the room. My eyes go straight over to Ryder. He is on the left side of the room, sitting in one of the chairs. Blair is on the right side, leaning against the wall.

"Hey," Blair says softly when she sees me looking at her; she walks over to me. Ryder stays seated.

"Hey." My throat is dry.

"Are you alright?" She asks. I hesitate to respond to her. "You know that was a dumb question," she says.

"What happened?" I ask. I don't remember much. I only remember going to NYU and then what happened in the hospital, me not being able to breathe, but everything in the middle is a blur.

"You had a seizure," she says.

"The medication?" I question.

"Yeah, they're running tests just to be sure."

I sigh and look at the IV in my arm. "You were dehydrated." She tells me, knowing what I was thinking. "I feel like this is my fault. I should've made you tell your parents about the medication. I knew how dangerous it was for you to keep taking it."

"I knew too. Please don't blame yourself; I knew the risks. I just didn't care." I explain. I was happy I was doing better; if being sick was the price I had to pay then, oh well.

"I hate that this is fucking happening to you. You were doing better; you were finding out what it really meant to live, shit you wanted to fucking live. And the universe just had to fuck it up for you." she says.

"Maybe the universe doesn't want me here," I say. She doesn't say anything. She just looks at me with pity in her eyes.

"Don't fucking say that!" Ryder says, breaking his silence. I turn my head to look at him; he gets out of the chair and stands beside the hospital bed.

"Well, if this dick here believes it. You have a chance; you have to." Blair jokes. I smile a little. "Besides, you still have NYU,"

Before I can open my mouth and tell her that I'm not going, the room door slides open. My mother, father, and Doctor Blake walk in. My mother rushes over to my side. "Hey, baby." She plants a warm kiss on my forehead. She pushes my hair back out of my face. My father walks over and grabs my hand. He gives me a warm smile, but I can see the hostility and anger in his eyes.

"I'm glad you're awake, Jayda. How are you feeling?" The bronze skin man asks.

"I'm okay."

"Well, okay, is good." He smiles at me.

Ryder POV

The room goes quiet for a few seconds. Her father looks up from her and then over to me. What the fuck is he staring at me for? If he thinks I'm leaving, then he really is stupid.

"Well, I have to go; I have a gig in an hour," Blair says. She bends down and kisses Jayda on the cheek. "I'll see you later, babe. Text me and keep me updated," she says. Jayda nods her head. Blair looks at me. I stare at her, and with my eyes, I say, I'm not fucking leaving.

She narrows her eyes at me, and her head slightly leans to the side, telling me. Come the fuck on.

"Your parents are looking for you." Jaydas idiot father says to me.

"They didn't text me," I say sarcastically.

"Well, they called me looking for you. I think you should go," he says. I bawl, my fist tightly in my hands. Fuck, it's taking everything in me to not punch him straight in his fucking face. He really has the fucking nerve to say shit to me after everything I know about him. I should out him right here in front of every fucking one. I should do it, but I won't, not now. It'd crush her if she knew the truth about her father. I know it would.

"I'll text you," Jayda says to me. I look away from him and to her. I don't want to look at her; I don't want to see her like this; she looks so fucking helpless.

I mean, she always looked helpless to me, but now she just looks... I don't know, but there's something different.

"Okay," I say back to her. She tries to give me a smile; it's a weak one.

"Bye," Blair says. I follow behind her and out the door.

I should've looked at her one more time. I know it'll be awhile before I see her again. Then again, no, it won't. I'll see her every time I close my fucking eyes.

Fuck.

(Hey guys, I know it's been a while, well it's been 2 days, but it feels like forever. I missed you all. I know this chapter is short lol I rewrote this chapter like 4 times; I was exposing too much at first. But im working on the next chapter now. Hopefully, I can get it out tonight. The next chapter lordddd don't be mad at me for what im about to do! lmao. Oh, and guys, I'm shocked no one has figured out what's been going on with Jayda's dad and why Ryder and him don't get along like I been dropping hints for you guys and all, yall still haven't figured it out. But any theories?)