Chasing the Sun (COMPLETE)

chapter five

Indigo

     Loud music played through the speakers, the alcohol flooding through my bloodstream. I wiped the sweat along my forehead with the back of my hand. Lainey and Greg were dancing along with me, all of us laughing and celebrating the fact that we had finished our first semester of college.

     "Only three and a half years left bitches!" Lainey yelled, her voice barely audible over the base and everyone belting out the lyrics to every song. I excused myself from my friends, shouting that I needed water. I pushed through sweaty bodies, doing my best to avoid spilling a drink on me.

     Once I finally made it to the kitchen, my blurred vision searched for a water bottle and when I couldn't find one, I opted for just shoving my head under the sink. Just before I did this, my phone went off, showing Skye's name.

     "Hey Sunny! What's up!" I yelled, once again fighting the crowd until I made my way outside. I heard his voice answer back but what he said was incomprehensible due to the volume around me. I plugged one ear, telling him to repeat himself.

     "Rainy, I sure do miss you. Are you at a party?"

     "You're good! Twins intuition? Or just the loud music and my slurred voice?" I laughed into the phone, hearing him chuckle as well.

     "You know I love you more than anything right?"

     "Even more than pizza?" I challenged, knowing full and well that I came in second place to pizza.

     "Even more than pizza. You're an amazing sister, daughter, and friend. I miss you, I'm gunna miss you, I just hope you don't miss me too much." I was confused by his words.

     "Of course I miss you! You should be here partying with us!" I heard a shuffling on his end before he spoke again.

     "I have some midterms to catch up on...I just wanted to check in on you. Let you know I love you and miss you. Please don't be mad at me."

     "Mad at you? I'm not mad at you, Sunny. Even if I was, you know I'd get over it the second you brought me ice cream." He laughed at my response, making me smile.

     "I gotta go but I love you. Be safe." I told him I loved him too before hanging up. The conversation felt off but I figured it was the alcohol. I shoved my phone back in my pocket, running back to my friends when the shot went off, making me scream.

     "SKYE NO!" I woke myself up, screaming for my brother at the top of my lungs. It was a nightmare, one I lived in both awake and asleep. I brushed away the tears that stained my cheeks, sniffling. I felt around the bed for my phone, unlocking it and hovering over the number before throwing it across the room.

     My sheets and clothes were both drenched in sweat. I got out of bed, stripping and sitting in the shower before turning the water on. The cold spray didn't phase me, my whole body shaking.

     Part of me wished that Josie were here because she'd know how to fix this, she'd know how to make it better. Another part of me was glad she was staying in New York this weekend for a shoot because I didn't want her to have to deal with my baggage too.

     I couldn't tell you how long I sat in the shower, just trying to gather my thoughts. I wanted to cry and to scream but neither of those things would change what had happened. I turned off the water, wrapping myself in a towel before making my way to my closet. I threw on his old sweatshirt, his cologne filling my senses. I put on a pair of shorts, threw my wet hair in a bun, and made my way along the streets of Malibu.

     I didn't know I was heading towards the shop until I got there. Harry has given me a key, telling me it was for late night inspiration. I stood at the door, unsure if this counted as inspiration but hoping that working on a few pieces might get my mind off of things. I turned the key in the knob, locking it behind me as I made my way downstairs.

     I turned on the light, walking over to the stack of notebooks. I picked one up along with a pencil and started drawing whatever came to my mind. I turned on my Spotify, listening to the playlist I'd made for nights like these, hoping it would lift this curtain of darkness.

     "Blue?" I jumped, dropping my pencil to the ground. Harry stood at the bottom of the stairs. He wore black Nike shorts and a yellow hoodie. His hair was pushed back behind an orange bandana.

     "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I just...I needed to...I can leave." I started to get up, gathering my things as he made his way over to the couch beside me.

     "You don't have to leave. I come here to get away too." I paused, sitting back down. He placed his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes with the heels of them, "I needed to get away from Kennedy. What did you need to get away from?"

     "Oh, I just had a bad dream is all." I laughed nervously, trying to brush it off.

     "Do you want to talk about it?" I heard the concern in his voice so much that I knew if I talked about it, I'd burst into a puddle of tears. That's the last thing I wanted to do in front of Harry. I just shook my head, putting my focus back on my sketch.

     "Do you want to talk about your issue?" I asked, hearing him sigh once more.

     "Not really, no," He leaned in closer to me, "What are you working on?" I got up, moving over to him so he could get a better view, "A sun?" I was suddenly very aware of the little space between our faces as I pulled away.

"The sun is my inspiration. I wasn't joking when I said I came here chasing the sun." It was true, I came here for the sun but not the sun everyone else knew. My sun left me all those months ago and although I knew I wouldn't get him back, I was hoping that maybe coming here would help me realize why he left in the first place and give me a reason to stay.

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hmmmm lots of clues here. also, i picture dylan o'brien as skye so there's that.