chapter thirty four

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Harry

There were exactly 46 ceiling tiles in this hotel room. How would I know that? Because I've been sitting here counting them for the last three hours. I meant to take a nap but my mind was an endless wheel of worry. Mitch coming in here to both lecture and tease me did not help with that either. I just needed to know how Blue felt.

I knew her decision to go with Josie wasn't a choice between the two of us but I could help but feel a little disgruntled about it. I knew a large part of why she went with Josie was because of the shower but a smaller part of me worried that she regretted telling me how she felt....or that she might have changed her mind when she was sober. I meant every word I told Josie in the hospital. I had feelings for Blue but I had wasted too much time being a dumb ass and a little scared to fully admit it to myself.

I groaned as I rolled over, my eyes reading the glowing numbers on the clock, telling me we were almost going on four hours since we got back to the hotel and over 24 for sleep. My eyes were heavy and if only my mind could take a time out, I'd be able to sleep. Maybe watching a TV show would cloud my mind enough to finally drift off. I reached across the nightstand between the beds, clicking the TV on and landing on a rerun of Friends. It was the same episode that was on when Blue and I last watched movies, the memory making me smile.

I took a few deep breaths before closing my eyes, feeling my body slowly drifting of to sleep. Just as I felt my conscious level decreasing, the click of the door made me shoot up in bed. My eyes were met with Blue's large ones, obviously startled by my abrupt motion. She gave me a small smile as she made her way over to her suitcase on the bed beside me.

Her hair was still half wet, curling as it did when she let it dry naturally. She wore one of the sweatshirts I'd let her borrow that I knew I wouldn't get back. It looked better on her anyways. The deep blue sweatshirt landed about mid thigh but I could see the bottom of her gray pajama shorts sticking out beneath it as she bent over her suitcase. Even in the most simple outfits, she was the most breathtaking woman I'd ever laid my eyes on.

     She zipped up the suitcase before turning back to me. She kept her dark eyes on mine as she climbed onto my bed, sitting up beside me, both of our backs resting against the headboard. Her hands were clasped together, eyes glued to them the moment she got settled. I could sense she was nervous as her thumbs circled each other, a habit I'd picked up on not long ago.

     "I want you to know that me going with Josie wasn't me choosing between the two of you. I hate when you guys fight, especially because of me." My eyes were glued to her, wishing she'd look up at me.

     "I know that wasn't a choice Blue. We'd never make you choose. Are you feeling better?" She nodded, lifting her head to look at me. My eyes traveled down to her lips, seeing her catching her lower one between her teeth, another nervous habit of hers.

     "Okay I am going to ask you not to speak until I've finished saying what I need to say because I've been pacing outside this room for the past hour trying to get all my thoughts together," She took a deep breath before speaking again, "I want to first apologize for getting drunk last night and ultimately causing a scene and you know, basically how the whole night went down. I wasn't expecting to find you in the bathroom...doing what you were doing...and it completely took me off guard. I was angry. I was angry at me for not having the guts to tell you sooner...I was trying to, in the Uber on the way to the party but you didn't seem interested and it totally blew all my confidence. None of that really matters right now considering we both know how we feel, for the most part." She paused, taking another breath.

     "I like you Harry. I have for awhile now, I think since that day it rained and you spent the afternoon with me asking me questions. Or maybe it was you coming to spend my birthday with me when you didn't have to. Somewhere along the way I fell for you and all your Dreamboat qualities. I didn't tell you right away because well, there was the Kennedy situation and then I didn't know if you were in a state to even have feelings for anyone. Another part of me was terrified of rejection as I'm not like the girls you typically date and I have a lot of baggage. I was so scared to lose you from my life completely that I just swallowed my feelings down but here I am, mustering up whatever ounce of courage and confidence I have left to let you know that I, Indigo Rain James, have feelings for you." She looked up at me now, bottom lip still caught between her teeth, brown eyes searching mine. I couldn't help the smile practically taking up my whole face watching Blue's nervousness slowly fade away.

"So what I'm hearing is, you have a crush on me?" I watched her face fall into an instant look of annoyance, eyes rolling as she hit my arm playfully.

"You're not the least bit funny, Styles. I worked on a whole god damn speech in my head for over an hour and that's how you respond to it?" Anyone who didn't know Blue well would think she was really upset with me but I knew she was just baiting me, seeing if I'd fall into her trap so she could turn the situation around on me. She was also shit at trying to hide a smile.

"I like you too, Blue but you already knew that. Everything I said in the hospital was true, it just took the awful events of last night for me to realize it. And you're right, you're not like most girls I've dated but I think that's the best thing about you. Being your friend is amazing but the possibility at something more is both scary and exciting. I'd be lying though if I said I didn't think we could work." There it was, Blue's famous smile, one that managed to take up the whole lower half of her face. She moved forward, wrapping her arms around my neck, letting out a sigh. I folded my arms around her torso, taking in this moment. The familiar scent of her coconut shampoo instantly calmed my mind and body.

"You didn't nap, did you?" She asked as she pulled away, a look of concern flashing across her face. How did she even know?

"My mind was racing so I couldn't until I talked to you. I counted the ceiling tiles," She gave me a funny look as I pointed to the ceiling, her head falling back as she looked at the ceiling herself, "Theres 46 ceiling tiles and the one in the far corner is slightly off colored and one of them has a message written on it that I couldn't quite make out." She stood on the bed, moving over to the far corner to get a better look at the writing scribbled on the tile. She looked down at me with a smile.

     "It says, 'Harry, you need some sleep'," It was my turn to roll my eyes now, the action making her laugh as she settled in beside me, nudging my shoulder, "It's just a manufacturers number but you really do need some sleep and honestly I could take another nap. My head still hurts pretty bad." She rubbed her eyes with her fingers, yawning.

     "Nap time it is then." We both got settled beneath the covers, Blue's back to my front and legs tangled together. I wrapped one arm around her torso, the other folded beneath my pillow. She laid her hand on top of mine, intertwining our fingers together. I kissed her cheek, earning a light hum in response. I fell asleep in seconds, not wanting to sleep without Blue wrapped in my arms ever again.

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i'm so sorry these updates are not my best work but these fillers were important. once i decide how i want to go with the next chapter, it should be a pretty big one.

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