Chasing the Sun (COMPLETE)

chapter forty six

Indigo

I woke up to the nonstop buzzing of a phone. I groaned, feeling stirring from beside me that eventually made the buzzing stop.

"Lucas it's too early," I heard Josie groan from beside me, making me shoot up in bed. This action was immediately regretted as my head was pounding from the excessive amounts of margaritas that were drank. I groaned, shutting my eyes and letting my hands feel around the sheets until latched onto my phone.

"Wait, slow down for a second. Harry did what?" My heart stopped at Harry's name, my body shifting towards Josie who flew up in the bed, eyes wide, "Are you sure?" She sounded angry, making my heart rate speed up, "Fuck, it's everywhere? No, I just woke up. Okay, yeah, Indi's with me. I'll check it out as soon as I get off the phone, see you soon." She hung your, immediately unlocking her phone and typing away furiously.

"Josie, whats going on?" She didn't answer, her fingers switching from scrolling to typing, her eyes wide and breathing erratic, "Jos, what's wrong? Did something happen to Harry?" My anxiety was rising, a tightness filling my chest.

I decided to check my own as I wasn't getting an answer out of Josie. There wasn't a single message from Harry which was a little shocking considering he was supposed to come stay last night. I was about to call him when Josie stopped me, grabbing my wrist.

"Indi, don't call him." I looked at her funny as she took my phone. The look on her face was a mixture of worry and anger and I didn't understand why, "Indigo, please know that I'm going to be here for you, no matter what. Lucas is on his way too." I swallowed, my eyes wide as I took in her words. My mind automatically went to the worst case scenario, the hole in my chest once again stretching as I crept out of the bed, collapsing to the floor.

"Shit, Indi. I didn't mean to- he's not gone- he just-" She came over to me, pulling me in for a hug, "Just look at this." She handed me her phone, my hands trembling as I looked down at the screen.

     Kennedy Jacks Seen Outside Ex Harry Styles Tattoo Shop Kissing!!! Did They Rekindle Their Old Flame? What About His New Girl?

     If the headline itself wasn't enough, the photos of proof sealed the deal. There was Harry, his side view so clear as his lips were attached to Kennedy's. There was a photo before of the two of them talking and then the photo of them kissing.

     Josie's phone slipped through my fingers, crashing against the hardwood floor. I knew Josie was speaking to me but I heard nothing but white noise, breathing so fast I thought I was going to pass out. There wasn't just a hole in my chest anymore, it was a gaping crater, one that continued to just break open with each breath.

     "Indi, come on please just breathe. Normally. Fuck." She pulled me into her, holding me tightly while I tried to just ride this anxiety attack out.

     "Is she okay?" I heard Lucas's voice but it sounded far away. Josie told him I'd be fine, continuing to hold onto me as my whole body was shaking.

     "Can you get a cold wash cloth?" She asked Lucas and I heard his footsteps disappear down the hall.

     I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to do anything but sit here in a dazed state hyperventilating. Once Lucas brought back the cold wash cloth and Josie set it on my forehead, I felt myself calming down. My breathing slowly went back to normal but the weight on my chest was still very much there.

     The sound of my phone ringing shook me out of my state. I turned to look between Josie and Lucas as he reached over me to grab it. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he looked down at Josie. She let out an aggravated sigh, grabbing the phone from him and placing it against her ear.

     "I'm going to fucking kill you!" She gave me a concerned look before stomping out of the room. Lucas looked between me and the hallway, a look of pure concern flashing in his eyes. I just waved him off, knowing that Josie was going to go off the rails at Harry as I could still hear her yelling. Lucas gave me one last look before running down the hall.

     I sat on the floor, knees to my chest as I stared at a small crack on the wall. Between Josie's threats and my intrusive thoughts, the pounding in my head only increased. There was only one thought standing out against all the others, one I didn't want to do but knew would solve everyone's problems. I kept focusing on this thought and eventual decision as I slowly stood and made my way into my bedroom.

     I lifted my suitcase onto my bed, pulling open my drawers and grabbing handfuls of my clothes. I shoved them all in my suitcase, my body suddenly switching over to autopilot as I packed everything I'd brought into bags. Just as I was zipping up the last bag, Josie walked into my room.

     "Indi, no please stay. Just because things didn't work out with Harry doesn't mean you need to leave. Trust me, I gave him a piece of my mind and you don't need to-" I threw my backpack over my shoulder, turning to see the tears slipping down Josie's cheeks as she just nodded slowly.

     "Nothing I say is going to change your mind, is it?" I bit the inside of my cheek, looking down at my feet. I felt so bad for hurting her, my heart just shattering more with each look at her face.

     "I love you, Josie. This isn't goodbye but I need to think some things through. Please don't be mad at me," My eyes were blurry as I looked up, tears threatening to spill out.

     "I could never be mad at you, Indigo. I don't want you to leave but I understand. Just please promise me you'll call me the second you get home and every day until you decide what you want to do. Just know that I want you here." She moves across the room, handing me my phone and wrapping her arms around me so tight I thought I'd break. Both of us were holding back our sobs as we let go.

     "Thank you, for everything. I'll call you when I get back home, I promise." And with that I pulled her in for one last hug before grabbing my belongings and walking out the door. I waved a goodbye to Lucas, telling him to watch after my best friend and pulled my suitcase out the front door.

     I threw my bags in the back, slamming the door shut and slipping my phone from my pocket to turn it to airplane mode after a quick text to my parents. I had a million missed calls and texts from Harry but I couldn't read a single one, knowing the moment I did I'd break down.

     I slid into my drivers seat, rolling down every window and peeling out of Josie's driveway. I slipped on my sunglasses, sighing as I hit the highway, my hand turning the dial on the radio and turning it all the way up. I put on an old playlist I barely listened to as angry wasn't my style, that is, not until today.

     I just needed to make it home and then I could break. I just need to make it home and then I could break. I just needed to make it home and then I could break. I just need to make it home and then I could break.

     The words played over and over in my head as I passed the sign saying 'Goodbye from Malibu.'

     I just needed to make it home and then I could break.

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well....