A Sky Full of Stars - 13th Doctor x Reader

Numb

You could not get the horrendous nightmare you just had, out of your head. You just wanted to feel nothing. The closest thing to that feeling was drinking until you couldn't feel anything anymore. It was your way of coping, you needed alcohol. You needed to feel numb.

You got out of bed and realised that your whole body was shaking in panic.

You stumbled out of your room and towards the kitchen.

You grabbed the bottle of vodka that Yaz had taken off you earlier.

You starting taking huge gulps from the bottle.

It burned your throat and made your eyes water, but you didn't care.

You slid down onto the floor and rested your head on top of your knees.

"God, my lives fucked up" you thought.

You continued to take sips from the bottle.

You don't know how long you sat there like this.

You could feel the alcohol taking effect now. Your eyes felt heavy and when you looked up, the room was spinning. You could not think straight. This was your intention. You could not feel anything other the alcohol entering your blood stream. You felt numb.

You attempted to stand up, you were staggering all over the place and fell back down onto the floor.

You laughed a little and tried again.

You managed to make your way out into the corridor. You bought the bottle to your lips one last time to finish the dregs.

You were trying to walk forwards but your vison had completely blurred, your head span and you could feel yourself falling.

You hit the ground, you were slightly slumped against the wall. The empty bottle fell beside you. You closed your eyes, allowing darkness to take over... 

"(y/n)...(y/n)" you could hear someone saying your name, they sounded really far away.

You thought you could feel someone gently shaking you.

"This is all my fault" you could hear a familiar voice say.

You attempted to move your head slightly.

"(y/n), I need you to open your eyes for me" you heard.

You tried to open them, but your eyelids felt extremely heavy.

"That's it" you could hear the voice say.

You managed to open them slightly.

Someone way leaning over you, looking into your eyes.

They were all blurry but you could make out some blonde hair.

"Docctorr?" you questioned.

"Yes (y/n) it's me" she said.

She was looking into your eyes, they were glazed over and you were completely out of it.

"How much did you drink?" she said, concerned.

She picked up the bottle next to you.

"surely you didn't drink all this?" you heard her say, sounding worried.

"halff" you just about said.

You could hear the doctor sigh.

"Why" she said gently.

"Upset,  to feell numb, Baad Dreaams" you slurred, "you a marrdy mooo" you mumbled.

"I'm sorrryy" you tried to say.

"It's not you who should be saying sorry, this is my fault. I shouldn't of said what I said to you and I should have believed you" she sighed.

"Youu belleaf mee?" you slurred.

"Yes (y/n)" she sighed.

"You probably won't remember this conversation in the morning though and your going to have one hell of a hangover" she sighed.

"I really wish you wouldn't drink so much, it really isn't good for you".

You could feel your eyes starting to close again.

"Let's get you to bed" you could hear her say.

"My rooms the closest" she said.

You could feel her carefully picking you up. She was carrying you in her arms.

You could feel her open a door. You couldn't really make out anything when you opened your eyes, everything was so blurry.

You suddenly felt very sick. You tried to warn the doctor.

"Sicckkk" you tried to say.

Luckily she understood and rushed you to the bathroom.

She gently placed you down with your head leaning over the toilet just in time.

You could feel her holding your hair back.

It felt like you were throwing up the entire contents of your stomach, it felt like it was never going to stop.

You ribs and stomach physically hurt and you were finding it difficult to breathe.

You could feel a gentle hand on your back.

"Breathe (y/n), the doctor reminded you, That's it get it all up" she sighed.

You didn't think you had anything left in your body to throw up.

You felt yourself slump forwards slightly.

"Whoa, I've got you" the doctor said.

You could hear her cleaning up and felt her gently wipe your mouth with something.

She carefully picked you up and you felt yourself being gently put into bed.

The covers were gently placed over you and you could feel the doctor lay next to you.

"Cudddlee" you murmured.

You could feel her pull you closer to her and wrap her arms around you.

"Please, don't drink this much again" you could hear her whisper into your ear.

"sorrryy" you mumbled.

"Goodnight (y/n)" you could hear her say.

"Nigghtt, love youu" you mumbled as you fell into unconsciousness once again.