A Sky Full of Stars - 13th Doctor x Reader

Overwhelmed

You had all entered back into the Tardis. Emmeline's speech still running through your head. 

She was truly inspiring. However, you realised that you had found it hard to focus on what she was saying, you had to concentrate extra hard. Your mind was elsewhere.

You hadn't been feeling like yourself today. You always had good days and bad days. Everything was catching up with you.

You still had your nightmare present in your head, you missed your family, you had been imprisoned in a small cell and physically hurt. It all felt like a big weight to be carrying on your shoulders.

Some days, nothing would even happen, but you would still find a dark cloud, raining over you.

"Everything ok (y/n)?" the doctor asked, you realised she was looking at you, with a slightly worried expression. You had been lost in thought.

"Fine" you lied, forcing a smiling, "just thinking" you added.

She looked at you as if she wasn't fully convinced, but wasn't going to push it.

"Are you sure you're alright, you've been really quiet" Yaz said.

"I'm fine" you repeated, "just tired" you said.

Yaz looked at you with the same doubt as the doctor's.

"Wasn't that speech amazing!" She said, trying to lighten the mood.

"That was pretty cool, I have to admit" Ryan said.

"It was inspiring, she was so passionate...it was amazing to be able to watch history being made" Graham said.

You found yourself aimlessly staring around the console room, not really taking in anything they had said.

"What did you think (y/n)?" the doctor asked you, breaking you out of your trance.

"Errr, yeah, it was great..." you said.

"I think I'm actually gonna go chill in the library" you said, wanting some time to yourself.

"We'll come with you" Ryan said.

"nah, it's ok thanks, I actually could do with a little time to myself" you replied.

"Are you sure?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, I'll probably end up playing some music or something" you said.

"Ok...I'll check on you in a bit" she replied.

You just nodded your head slightly and headed off down the corridor.

You were heading towards the library but as you went to walk past the kitchen, you found your feet stopping you in your tracks.

You knew there was alcohol in there. No matter how hard the doctor tried to get rid of it, the Tardis kept materialising it back, into the cupboard. The doctor had mumbled something about it all being River's fault.

You felt yourself mentally debating if you should grab some. The angel on your shoulder was telling you not too...telling you that it would upset the doctor and that you should talk to her about how you were feeling instead.

Unfortunately, the devil on the other side,  was convincing you that it helped, it made you feel numb and helped you to lose some of the pain and overwhelming thoughts that ran through your head.

The devil won.

It always did.

You headed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard, heading over to the kitchen counter and taking a seat on one of the stools.