A Sky Full of Stars - 13th Doctor x Reader

Distant

The next few days you had found it more difficult to control your temper. You had been to a couple of different places and planets and enjoyed exploring with the others, seeing new things, and meeting new beings. 

Unfortunately, you found yourself easily frustrated and more short tempered then usual.

You had lost your temper with Ryan for winding you up, punched some alien for accidently walking into you and had started an argument with some royal members of a planet, leading to almost being arrested for treason. Luckily, the doctor managed to talk her way out of there and drag you back to Tardis.

You were feeling frustrated with yourself, you just wanted to shut yourself away and drink, however, the doctor managed to stop you. You really didn't feel like travelling today and found yourself wanting to be alone.

You were sat on one of the sofa's in the library, you had picked out an interesting book and were trying to read it. You found yourself reading a sentence and then reading it again, your mind was elsewhere. You realised you had completely lost your place now.

"uHh" you sighed, throwing the book.

"don't like that one?" you heard a familiar voice say.

The doctor was standing nearby, you had unintentionally thrown the book at her feet. She lent down and picked it up, putting it back on a shelf.

She came and sat beside you.

"Everything ok (y/n)?" she asked, looking at you with concerned eyes.

"Fine!" you snapped.

She looked into your eyes and you felt yourself feel instantly calmer.

"Sorry" you mumbled.

"You haven't been yourself the last few days, you've been much more quiet and distant than usual..."

She put a comforting hand on your arm.

"I know you had an awful experience and you must still be finding it difficult?" she asked.

"I just...I can't get the feeling that it caused me to have, out of my head. I still feel so angry and frustrated at the stupidest little things" you sighed.

"That's understandable" she nodded.

"I know I'll always have some issues with anger but right now it's worse...I hate it, I don't feel like myself right now" you almost whispered.

The doctor looked at you with kind and sympathetic eyes.

"We can't have that!" she smiled.

"Would you like me to...err, you could say no of course, but... I could push the memories and feelings that drug made you feel to the back of your mind, they'll still be there, just more distant?" she asked.

"You can do that?" you asked.

"I can, but it just requires me to go into your mind a little bit" she explained.

You looked at her curiously.

"That's all you'll see? All you'll look at? Just them memories?" you asked.

"Of course, I wouldn't go looking at anything else without your permission" she smiled at you.

"It won't hurt will it?" you asked.

"not really, it will just feel a little bit odd" she said.

"ok, I trust you, just don't go poking around though" you raised an eyebrow at her.

"Promise" she smiled.

She began to lean towards you and gently placed a hand either side of your forehead.

She closed her eyes and you felt yours close too.

You had the oddest feeling, you could almost feel someone inside your head, the memories of the rage flashed before you, you didn't just see them, you felt them again. Just as quickly as they appeared they seemed to fade away, still there but not as strong.

You felt the doctors hands leave your head and heard her gasp. You quickly opened your eyes.

"Are you ok?" you asked concerned as the doctors face looked slightly pained.

"Yeah" she replied, "It's just that when we see memories, we feel them to, everything you felt...I just felt, I'm sorry" she said, pulling you into a hug.

"That was truly awful what he did to you, you were so incredibly strong to fight it" she almost whispered in your ear.

You both sat back, "I certainly wouldn't want to experience it again, but thank you, it's helped. It already feels less intense and I feel a bit lighter in my mood" you gave her a warm smile.

She beamed at you, "excellent".

"Now there's something I'd like you see" she grinned, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you towards the console room.