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deja vu • chaelisa

"now, i'm holding this pain because of you."

chae looked at her mirror in deep despair.

the big piece of fragile glass reflected lights from her chandelier and a royal family's only member who just lost her hope.

chae sighed deeply as she threw back the thorn-less burnt white rose into its own vase.

another wasted flower for the ritual and yet nothing was benefitted from it; all she had was pain.

an endless hurt.

the only queen decent, chae, just felt world trampled her head for the millionth time.

in her kingdom, in order to be crowned, a queen or a king must find his or her soulmate and to find the right one, the golden child must burn white holy rose every full moon to represent the giving of whole innocence and life of one to their guardian goddess.

sadly, it's been 40 times since chae started the rituals but she couldn't differ her soulmate from everyone.

she couldn't have her deja vu.

chae's parents had died for three years and a half, yet she couldn't replace them until she found the one.

she had to.

her ambition and obsession to take over the throne from the villainous great darcy, her aunt who possessed the regime in her hands until chae was ready.

darcy was one of a kind, who manipulates and kills the innocents, blames chae's parents and even mock the kingdom's founder and ancestor.

she was a polity maniac and chae despised it.

so once chae met her soulmate, she would have no choice than drown and surrender her position since it was the rule of the empire.

"maybe, it's just not my destiny," chae whispered to herself hopelessly.

"i'm sorry, mom, dad," she drooped as tears started rolling down her cheeks while apologizing to her parents for disappointing them.

she tried to look tough and wiped her tears, then took off the pair dangling golden dream catcher earrings of hers from chae's ears.

the earrings were the monarch's most precious treasure, that holds a meaning to celebrate the first king and queen.

yet the same pair of those were to represent deep condolences and to reminisce the death of chae's parents.

chae wanted to look strong, so she faked a smile behind her mournful eyes.

especially if she was in front of public, so none could see her wistful heart.

a sorrow no one would understand, chae always felt.

park chaeyoung, named after her father's family name, even if he was secretly royal blooded and abandoned.

the name itself had shown greatness of both her parents, mostly her mother.

chae's mother was the first golden child ever to marry a soulmate of her dead sister since she didn't have one, so she was called sacred queen.

the sacred queen's only child was known for her boldness and beauty of her soul, and attitude, passed down by her mother and a bright mind with a kind heart & a burning passion for archery, passed down by her father.

now that her parents were both killed by drowning in a sinking ship, she couldn't do anything but hold a grudge.

a hatred and deep resentment towards the murderer, darcy.