I'm Scarlett Shannon, 21, been off and on drugs since I was thirteen. Right now I'm a month sober, which is pretty good deal for me. However, I'm getting bored, I want another rush of highs. That's all I can think of right now and that's never good.
I'm living in my cousin's three bedroom house, where I am currently renting a room. It's small but it works, plus I'm not even paying the rent. My mother does -- I know, I'm twenty-one, why would my mom pay my rent? Here's the deal.. I moved out of the house I grew up in(with my mom) and my mother didn't want that to happen, since I had been so messed up and high. She made me a deal if I lived with my cousin, she would pay the rent and in return my cousin would let my mom know how I am doing. So, that's that.
However, I'm going to move out soon, now that I have a job at a coffee shop.. It would be nice to finally have my own apartment.
I was getting bored just sitting on my bed with my elbows resting on my knees and my palms on my head. I was racking my head on what I could do. I don't start my job until Monday, and today is Saturday. *buzz--buzz* my phone. I grab my crappy go-phone and look who has text me. It was Steve. He's an old high school friend I used to get high with. Long story short, he's a drug dealer. Was my drug dealer.
"I got some new stuff today -- wanna try it out? Come over now if you'd like."
Ah, damn. I think to myself.
I decided to go on a walk around the block and collect my thoughts on the pros and cons of going to Steve's...
Pro: I can get high.
Con: I'd want to get high again tomorrow, tonight... Etc...
Pro: Just one more time and I'll get sober again.
Is that even a pro?
I decided I wouldn't go over there. I just kept walking and re-reading Steve's text. I finally shoved my phone in the front pocket of my Ironman sweatshirt... I have to say, the guy that plays Iron Man is fucking gorgeous.
It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining through these gorgeous puffy gray clouds. It looked like it was going to rain, that would be nice. My phone started buzzing again.. At first I thought it was just another text, but it kept vibrating, which means it was a call. I pulled it out and looked to see who it was,
Jamie.
That's my cousin I live with.
"Hey Jam-" she cut me off really fast.
"Listen.. Scarlett. I have some news. Can you come back to the house?" Her voice was low and dramatic. She was always cheery and happy. What was going on?
"I don't really want to come back right now. Can you just tell me?" I asked politely.
"It's your father, Scarlett. He's.. He is.. Well.. He.. Um..--" she broke off and started crying.
"My father died?" I asked with no emotion in my voice.
"I.. I am so sorry, Scar." Jamie cried into the phone. I hung up.
I hadn't seen my father in two years. He left my mother when I was four or five. He then moved in with another woman and pretty much started a brand new life. I would go see him every now and then -- when he was having "good" days. He was a depressed man and hooked on heroin. On his good days, he'd be ecstatic, practically bouncing off the walls. He would take me fishing, go get some ice cream, and as I got older we would just do drugs together. We actually had a really good relationship when I was around sixteen -- we just sat on his funky old couch and did drugs, we'd both be sitting back on the couch laughing and he'd tell me old stories about when he met my mom. His second wife had left him around that time. But, Minus the drugs, it was great bonding time for us. Then, two years ago, he stopped taking my calls and when I'd go to his house, he'd slam the door in my face. He yelled some pretty nasty stuff at me, but I knew it was just the drugs and booze talking. Anyway, I just stopped going to see him. Now he's dead and I never did a damn thing to help him.
I made a bee-line to Steve's apartment.
I was at Steve's apartment door, knocking pretty hard. The door flew open and Steve had a huge grin on his face.
"Miss Scarlett! How are things?" He said as he motioned me to come in.
I slowly walked into his home, feeling really out of it, like I wasn't even there anymore. I definitely didn't like this feeling. I never really even heard Steve ask me how I was.
I need to get high.
"Scarlett?" Steve shakes his hand in front of my face.
I come out of my daze, somewhat, to answer him.
"Steve, yeah.. I'm okay. Do you have anything to drink?" I ask softly.
"Yup, you want a white Russian? Your usual?"
"Please" I could barely speak.. I just gave him a fake smile. Steve looked bewildered- his huge grin that was on his face when I walked in, had disappeared.
"While I go make that, take this, darlin." Steve said as he leaned over me to grab a pill on the coffee table next to me. He then handed me a oblong blue pill. I popped it in my mouth and swallowed it with my saliva.
"You need to talk, Scarlett?" He asks sweetly.
"Nah. Sorry, I'm okay. Just need to get high. Feeling the shakes, you know?"
"Yep, I sure know that feeling. Your hair is rocking today, by the by!" Steve calls to me as he was walking into the kitchen to make my drink.
My hair? I think to myself. I turn my head around to the mirror on the wall to my left. It was a bad hair day for me. I have thick and curly strawberry blonde hair. It gets pretty crazy and I guess I didn't brush it today before leaving the house.
Steve was back with my drink, in a smallish glass jar. I just shot it back. My stomach felt nice and warm.
"Yummy, thanks Steve." I manage to say.
"No problem-o!" He says as he leans over the coffee table to chop up some lines of coke. I did a few lines with him.
I don't know how much time had passed, but I started to feel lighter, giddy, and much much better. I leaned back in the couch and melted into it. That must had been a muscle relaxer he gave me, but then as the coke kicked in I jumped off the couch and started dancing to no music. Steve bobbed his head as he watched me dance. His shaggy blonde hair bouncing as he moved. I looked over at the scratched up wooden coffee table, covered in coke and stains. I noticed two more of those blue pills, I bent over to grab them, but lifted my head up to look at, Steve. I stared at him with my big green eyes, asking for approval to take them. He mouthed the word "yes". So, I tilted my head back, threw the pills back and swallowed.
I did one more line and time sorta passed by without me knowing it did.
All of a sudden I was outside, on the sidewalk, and was dazed.. I didn't know where to go so I kept walking and walking. I didn't want any cops to see me, so I found the back way to my house. It was down this dark alley way, I had walked many times. It always gave me the creeps, I'm not sure why. I mean, every dark alley way is creepy, but this one had a weirder vibe going on. As I stumbled into the alley, I couldn't even think anymore.
Bam!
Darkness.
My head hit something.
My body ached.
Blackness was all around me and sucked me in.
