how do i know if i love you?

49장

This chapter slightly mentions suicide, which could still be triggering so if you want to skip please skip it.

The sun shines through the window and I open my eyes slowly. I look around to see a person at the end of the bed. They are hunched over the edge of the bed asleep.

I groan as I move myself to the side. I notice the hospital room I am in is different. There are cords everywhere and separate equipment holders.

The door burst open and three girls come in quietly, they are carrying food and drinks. They're Mihyeon, Eunchae and Jisu.

Mihyeon looks up at me and smiles softly. She whispers something to the others and soon everyone is crowding around me. The person at the end of the bed sits up and I recognise it as being Yoongi.

I have a slight headache and a pain in my lower stomach. I can't bring myself to sit up. A nurse comes in and the others move for her to come see me.

She helps me sit up, as I sit up the headache worsens causing me to grown. I sit over the edge of the bed, my legs dangle over the edge, I can't seem to move them. 

Mihyeon sits on the bed beside me and places a hand on my shoulder to stable myself. "You'll need to stop taking some pills." The nurse says handing me a pill box, "These here will help with the stomach problem, you will be able to have the pills for the mental health. No sleeping pills, no happy pills and you will have to go off the pill for awhile." She says and I nod slightly.

So only the antipsychotics and pills for stomach pain. "So do you know what's wrong with her? In the stomach?" I hear Jisu say, I close my eyes slowly and just listen to them talk. The bright lights making my head ache even more.

"We think it's a stomach infection, we don't understand why. If you stick to a plain diet and little medication, it should go away quickly." The nurse says and I nod slightly. After a while the nurse leaves leaving us alone. Eunchae quickly grabs my hand and Yoongi holds my other hand.

"Chae, don't leave us." Eunchae mumbles, I look up at her. I see tears slowly tumble from her eyes. "You scared us, a lot."

"I'm sorry." I groan out, I squeeze her hand and look up at her. Jisu comes and hugs me.

"We were so worried when Namjoon called us. He says that IU found you in the bathroom." Jisu says grabbing my hand after Eunchae lets go of it. I feel tears escape from my eyes. Yoongi leans forwards and wipes them away. The four of them crowd around me. "Namjoon said you have given the poor girl nightmares." Jisu says looking down at me.

Jisu seems uptight. She hasn't said much and she doesn't seem as upset as the others, she looks more angry. I look away from her sightly and look over at Yoongi. I squeeze his hand and he slightly smiles at me, it's not a happy smile, I can tell he's upset.

"I'm so sorry." I say, I feel like I'm going to breakdown in tears. There is a knock on the door and I look up to see Namjoon standing there.

Namjoon comes in and the others move allowing him to sit next to me. "Chulmoo's worried about you." Namjoon says slightly avoiding my eyes. "I've asked the nurses and they will take you to him." I thank him before giving him a hug. The others help me sit up and a lady comes in with a wheelchair.

They help me into the wheel chair and they escort me to my brother's hospital room. He's looking better than when I saw him last. I grab his hand. "I'm so sorry." I say, "This is all my fault. I should have never even mentioned anything. I was warned that something might happen, I didn't listen to the messages, I should have. It's all my fault, I'm so sorry please forgive me."