how do i know if i love you?

56장

I grab a few plates and chopsticks. Eunchae and Jimin had just gotten back from the shops and the amount of chocolates and desserts they got was shocking.

I look up into the kitchen Eunchae and Jimin are loading the chocolate into the fridge. The large cake they bought barely fits in the fridge. "How are we going to get the cake in the fridge." Eunchae exclaims to Jimin and I laugh slightly before taking the plates to the table. I notice that one of the plates isn't completely clean so I don't place it down.

I look up and I see Jin and Jisu walking together to the table hand in hand. I gasp and the plate in my hands go crashing to the floor. I quickly pick up the shards and Jisu quickly comes to help me.

"Since when?" I ask shocked looking up at her, she smiles.

"About two weeks." She says and I look at her wide eyed. How come I didn't know this? I didn't even know something was up.

"Two weeks? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask and she looks down at the shards she was helping me pick up.

"Chae, two weeks ago you were in South Korea. You weren't in the right mindset. I couldn't tell you. Then when I was going to, you ran away. We were busy the days after that, so that leaves now." Jisu says and I nod before clean the rest of the glass plate up.

I chuck the shards in the bin and get a broom and clean the smaller bits of the ground. Yoongi brings the food over on a few plates. He looks around and when he notices I'm the only one paying attention to him, he grabs me by the arm and pulls me towards him.

"Chae taste this." He says picking up some of the meat and feeding it to me. I nod and give a thumbs up, it's really soft and juicy. "Oh and I tasted the rice as well it's really good!" He exclaims and I grab a pair of chopsticks from the table and pick up some rice.

"Damn, we're good cooks." I say after while and Yoongi smiles at me with a wide gummy smile. I smile as well.

"Yo, Chae. We are all set. Let's eat!" Eunchae says and we sit down at the table. "Jimin, get the boys." Eunchae says to Jimin.

Jisu and Jin sit next to each other and look at each other lovingly. Yoongi sits beside me. He notices the two of them looking lovingly at each other. "Since how long has that been a thing?" He asks and I strug. I'm not used to it yet.

There's loud footsteps and Jungkook and Taehyung find there way to the table saying how nice the food looks. Namjoon is the last person to sit down. He sits besides Yoongi and Taehyung.

I look away and begin to fill my plate with food. I look up at Jin and he's getting Jisu food, I smile softly. It's cute.

"Chae." I hear Yoongi say and I look up at him. In his hand he holds his chopsticks with a piece of meat. "Have this." He says going to put it down on my plate but I stop him.

I open my mouth and he puts it in my mouth and I eat it. There is a loud noise and we all look up, it's Hoseok and Mihyeon. Did I forget to mention they weren't here?

"Oh my! How could you?" Hoseok asks pretending to be shot in the heart. Mihyeon also looks hurt.

"Do you want some?" I ask and they nod and they sit down at the table. "So anything you would like to tell us?" I ask.

Everyone is looking at them expectantly. "Well, what is there to say? You guys already know don't you?" Mihyeon says. I smile at them and nod.

After a while we finish eating and I volunteer to wash the plates. When the others ask to help me I refuse saying I can do it myself.

I do the dishwashing so I can have time to think alone. There is a lot going on, Jin and Jisu? Will Namjoon ever talk to me again? Why does it still hurt?

There is bang and I look down. One of the plates I was washing fell off the bench and shattered at my feet. "Oh my god Chae. You're such an idiot." I say to myself in Chinese. I quickly put all the stuff in hands down and slowly move away from the broken plate. I'm bare footed.

As I back away I stand on a shard and I groan slightly. As I wasn't wearing any shoes when the plate broke the shards jumped cutting my feet.

I pull out the sharp from my foot and put on a pair of slides I found from next to the fridge. I grab the broom and quickly clean the floor. This is the second time today I broke a plate.

Once I finish I sit up on the bench and grab a tissue to clean my foot. I had left a small blood trail on the floor, however the cuts aren't deep enough to cause much scarring.

I try and pull out a shard but it hurts to much that I can't bring myself to pull it out. There is foot steps and I look up to see Namjoon eyeing the blood on the floor. I don't say and thing and pull out a piece of glass from my foot. I groan and I feel my eyes begin to water.

Namjoon looks up at me and I look down at him. "Go away." I say clutching my teeth. I wipe away some of the blood with the tissue. I look up to see that Namjoon didn't leave. He looks down at the ground. "Go away." I say again but he doesn't say anything.

Namjoon grabs a towel and wets it and wipes the blood of the floor. He looks up at me, I can't seem to read his face. "Chaerin." He starts. "What did you do?"

"Go away." I cry but he doesn't leave. He is causing me more pain the the glass in my feet. "Please just leave!" I cry and he shakes his head. "Please, your hurting me." I cry clutching my shirt where my heart is.

"Let me help you." He says nearing me but I shake my head.

"You are going to talk to me now but once you finish you are going to go back to ignoring me? No! I don't need your help!" I cry. "You aren't going to forgive me are you? I can see it in your eyes. It's killing me Namjoon!"

"How am I supposed to get better when something always goes wrong? I tell myself not to cry! To be strong, even why my heart is breaking." I cry and he looks away from me. "Everything was going good again. However, you haven't spoken to me since I woke up."

"When I ran away from home, the thought on the top of my head was to find you. I wanted to see my cousin, you Namjoon, my aunt and uncle. I thought you could help me, you are the only family I knew. After Jinhee and Mirae passed it went down hill and I tried to end it. You forgave me so quickly the first time and then the second time you didn't talk to me for almost three years! Do you know how it feels to be ignored by someone who used to keep you going?" I ask tears streaming down my face. "Don't talk to me until you forgive me, it hurts but I will wait for years just to hear your voice again. So please don't talk to me and leave me be in peace."

He turns around and leaves, I watch him leave. I try not to think about what just happened, I'm not going to live for the past anymore, I'll live for now. "Chaerin are you alright?" I hear a voice ask and I look up to see Taehyung standing there. He looks up at me awkwardly.

"I'm alright, don't worry about me." I say and Taehyung shakes his head.

"Yoongi hyung worries about you a lot. He said you like to hid your emotions." Taehyung says and I look down at him. I dry my eyes on my sleeve. 

"I'm seriously fine." I say looking down at him. He again shakes his head.

"I don't get how Yoongi hyung deals with you. How does he get you to spill your feelings." Taehyung states. "I'm not Yoongi, but I still care for you. Everyone does. I heard you yelling at Namjoon hyung, you're upset. Please don't bottle it up in there, it will only get worse if you keep it to yourself. I'm not a therapist, but I know it's not right to keep such things to yourself. It just eats away at you until there isn't anything left."

"Im.. fine." I mumble looking at him.

"Should I go get Yoongi hyung?" Taehyung asks and I shake my head, I don't want to bother him. "Look I get that you don't want to say anything, but Chaerin if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll offer my shoulder."

I feel tears start to escape from my eyes, I try to wipe them away but more keep falling. Taehyung wraps his arms around me and I cry into his shirt.

He pats my back softly and I can't stop myself from crying. It feel weird to cry in front or on someone that isn't Yoongi or one of the girls. "Don't be afraid to let it all out." Taehyung mumbles.

A/N
Tae rly nice.