It's been a week since Omar's death. I was told that I had fainted the moment the nurse told me the news.
When I regained my senses I was in a hospital bed with my mom beside me holding my hand with her tear stained face and Papa was sitting on the sofa with his eyes closed but I could see the tears rolling down his cheeks.
I do not want to go into the details of what happened but all I could say is that
It wasn't a dream.
A part of me still aches and I know will always blame me for his death, but the other one tells me that I atleast got a chance to see him alive for the last time and that it wasn't my fault.
I am trying my best.
I am trying to stay strong for my family. It's not necessary that only adults need to be strong all the time. Sometimes even they need someone else to be strong for them, to hold them in place. My mom and dad have taken a break from their jobs, wanting to spend time with me and to make our bond stronger.
Everything is slowly getting better. I see my parents smile at least once or twice a day which is more than enough for me.
My friends come everyday to see how I am and how is everything going.
Infact my relationship with Zyad has gotten even stronger. I haven't been going to school for a week so I don't know whether he has broken up with Jasmine or not, but I trust him. I tried asking Jamie but she said that even she doesn't know.
He comes everyday and takes me out.
Sometimes for a walk, sometimes to the park, the mall wherever he thinks he can take me to make me happy. I love him for that.
I am greateful to God for giving me such good people.
My friends know about our relationship. They weren't very supportive at first but in the end all they said was--
IF HE MAKES YOU HAPPY, THEN WE ARE HAPPY.
But that was only after Ankit and Reid had a "talk" with Zyad, after which he almost looked traumatized but didn't say anything. I tried asking him, but he only brushed it off saying that 'it was nothing.'
I am grateful to God for every thing.
And all I can say is--
I hope he is at peace and I hope he is happy because he is, was and always will be my happiness. My sunshine. My brother.
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