Beautiful Goodbye (COMPLETED)

Chapter 33: Put your head on my shoulder

Bella's POV

"Girl, nakita mo ba bagong post sa FB Page ng University Stolen Shots?" tanong saken ni Judith.

"I know." Buntong hininga kong sabi. The gossip spread like wildfire in the University.

"Sino kaya tong babaeng to? Kung ako sa kanya, ipapangalandakan ko ang suwerte kong mukha." Narinig kong sabi ni Trixie sa kabilang table.

My anxiety has been at its peak ever since the issue started, and Judith seemed to notice. ""Hey, girl. Are you okay?" tanong niya sa akin.

I've been feeling a lot anxious, sobrang dami kong iniisip, minsan hindi na ko makahinga at napapaiyak nalang ako. "Pano ba to, Judith? Mamaya rehearsal natin. Paano ko haharapin mga ka-org natin. Kabang-kaba ako. Baka matanggal ako, kami ni Liam." I tried my best to hold back my tears. Here comes my anxiety attack again.

"Uy Judith, anong nangyayari kay Bella?" tanong ng isa namin kaklase.

"Ay wala to. Problemado lang sa ano..." Naghesitate si Judith saglit "Lovelife ganern."

"Ughh... as if." Narinig kong komento ni Trixie sa kabilang table.

"Ano yon Trixie?" galit na sabi ni Judith.

"Judith, just let her be. Wag mo na patulan." Sabi ko sa kanya.

"As if naman may love life yan. Baka nagi-imbento ka lang." dagdag pa ni Trixie.

"Aba sumosobra ka na, Trixie. Kita mong hindi okay yung tao eh." Depensa saken ni Judith.

"Oh bakit? Sino ba yang imaginary/mystery man mo, ha? Sabihin mo nga!" hamon ni Trixie.

"Wag mo kaming subukan, Trixie. Baka magulat ka." Judith said smugly.

"Judith," sabi ko habang hinihila ang kanyang shirt sleeve, "I can't breathe."

I can feel my chest tightening up. I can't breathe. My heart is beating out of my chest. My head feels heavy from overthinking. Dire-diretso lang ang tulo ng mga luha sa mata ko.

"Shit! Inaanxiety attack si Bella." Bulalas ni Judith.

Suddenly, I was hyperaware of everything happening around me. I can tell that my classmates were trying to come closer. Whether to try to help or makichismis lang, I didn't know. but it was making everything worse. I can hear others running outside and calling for help. I tried to focus on Judith's voice.

"Okay, Bella. Look around you. Humanap ka ng limang bagay na nakikita mo. Touch four things that you can feel. Listen closely and look for three things that you can hear. Pwede yung huni ng ibon sa labas, yung tunog ng aircon, or itong boses ko. Two things you can smell. Ito panyo ko, amoy ng pabango ko. Tsaka ito, coffee sa Klean kanteen ko. Ito inumin mo na rin para sa one thing you can taste."

Sinundan ko lahat ng sinasabi ni Judith at onti-onting gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Niyakap ako ni Judith, "Okay, breathe. You're doing great. You're okay, you're fine. Everything's okay. Sige, yakapin mo lang ako. Here... Here..."

Maya-maya lang ay dumating ay may dumating na mga tao at dinala ako sa clinic. After assuring the nurse that I was fine, Judith decided that it's better for me to go home. My mental health just took its toll on me.

Judith drove me home in silence. Pagdating namin sa bahay, diretsiyo ako humiga sa kama with Judith beside me.

"Judith, mas okay yata kung umattend padin ako ng rehearsal." Mahina kong sabi. Medyo husky at nagkakacrack pa rin boses ko, "Pano kung lalo sila magduda? Baka sabihin ng iba nagpapabaya ako. Nakita mo ba yung tingin nila saken, nung palabas kami? Anong sinasabi nila?"