Smile for me || PJM.

twenty-two | numb

I woke up later and just stared at Jimin peacefully sleeping. Then I realised that I still had work to finish at home. I got up quietly and wrote a note.

Hey, I realised I had work to finish at home, get enough rest for tomorrow :)

I left and went home, finishing my work then going to sleep.

The next day went really slowly, and oh, we had a science test out of the blue. It was great.... not.

"Ughhh I totally failed... like how on earth are we supposed to know how magnets..."

I sighed as Jungkook rambled on and looked at Jimin who was staring at his feet whilst walking.

"How about you? Failed like us?" I asked. He nodded sighing and I sighed too.

Wow, so much sighing.

We went on miserably with our day then went our seperate ways.

Jimin seemed ok all day, but in reality he was unsure with how he was feeling. At times he was empty, other times he was just simply bored or annoyed.

But when he got home, he was feeling empty. He collapsed on his bed face down and fell asleep simply like that.

Days passed. He was neither ok or feeling terrible. He kept switching... or was he in the middle? He wasn't sure.

One day, he was alone at home, staring at the picture frame of his family. He would normally cry and break down, but this time he didn't.

He just stared.

His heart heavy but mind blank.

He felt numb... almost numb.

But he wanted to feel completely numb. He hated these conflicted feelings...

Out of instinct, or out of habit, he got up and went into the bathroom. Staring at the blade, he went closer and picked it up.

Only when the handle made contact with his skin he realised what he was doing.

Widening his eyes, he dropped the blade and stepped back, his heart beating faster and faster.

It's been over a week... or maybe more... he just knows it's been the longest he's not harmed himself... he didn't want to get into that cycle again.

Yet he was craving for that feeling again.

With shaking hands he ran out of the bathroom and did the only thing he could think of.

Call Y/n.

He felt like he was getting too relient on her but he didn't care at the moment. He couldn't think straight.

Jimin?

C...can you c... come... n... now...

I'm coming, are you hurt?

N... no... p... please just come...

He couldn't hold it in anymore.

He collapsed on the floor leaning his back against the bed, letting his arm fall to the floor. He broke down, seemingly letting out everything that was caught up in him for the last couple of days.

-----

"Jimin? Jimin?!" I heard sobbing and I widened my eyes. Rushing out, I got to his house in less than 5 minutes.

I opened the door and ran in, going straight upstairs.

Opening his bedroom door, I saw him on the floor leaning against the bed, head hung low as he sobbed loudly.

I ran over and cupped his cheek, making him look at me. His sobbing calmed down a little but he was still crying. He had red puffy eyes already and his cheeks and nose were tinted a light pink.

He looked down again sobbing and without a second thought I pulled him closer. He cried into my shoulder and I ran my hand through his hair, trying to calm him down a little.

But he didn't. And it hurt me so much. It hurt me even more each time I saw him like this.

I hated it that he was hurt like this. He didn't deserve it. Not one bit.

I widened my eyes when Jimin's breathing started getting heavier and his body seemed to tense up.

I leaned back, resting my hands on my shoulders to look at him.

But as soon as I did that, he had passed out.