Forever and Always Potter

3.12

On Monday after an especially interesting Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, Professor Lupin asked Harry and I to stay after class "I heard about the match," said Lupin, turning back to his desk and starting to pile books into his briefcase, "and I'm sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?" "No," said Harry. "The tree smashed it to bits." Lupin sighed. "They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance." "Did you hear about the Dementors too?" said Harry with difficulty. "Harry," I cut in, "it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

 "Yes, I did. I don't think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry. They have been growing restless for some time... furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds... I suppose they were the reason you fell?" "Yes," said Harry. He hesitated, and then the question he had to ask burst from him before he could stop himself. "Why? Why do they affect me like that? Am I just —?" "It has nothing to do with weakness," said Professor Lupin sharply, as though he had readHarry's mind. "The Dementors affect you and even your sister  worse than the others because there are horrors in your two's past that the others don't have." 

 "When they get near me —" Harry stared at Lupin's desk, his throat tight. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum." Lupin made a sudden motion with his arm as though to grip Harry's shoulder, but thought better of it. There was a moment's silence, "Thats who the screams belong to," Lupin looked at me with pity, "it's our mum." 

 "There are — certain defenses one can use," said Lupin. "But there was only one Dementor on the train. The more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist." "What defenses?" said Harry at once. "Can you teach me?" "I don't pretend to be an expert at fighting Dementors, Harry — quite the contrary..." "But if the Dementors come to another Quidditch match, I need to be able to fight them —" Lupin looked into Harry's determined face, hesitated, then said, "Well... all right. I'll try and help. But it'll have to wait until next term, I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill." Before I could leave I looked at Professor Lupin, "I should be fine, you should just spend you time with Harry."

After we left the classroom I pulled Harry aside, "I know you think you're alone, but I know what it's like." He looked at me with his eyebrows scrunched, "it's not the same," he looked down before continuing, "nothing is the same for us." "Whats that supposed to mean?" Harry again couldn't look at me in the eye, "You don't have to live with the guilt that mom and dad died protecting you." I filled with rage, "you know Harry sometimes you act like you're the only one who lost their parents that night. I think about it every day, you think I just go through my life happy and problem free." He again didn't look me in the eye, "I know it's hard for you to believe but I'm just as much a Potter as you are." I walked away tears running down my face, I found an empty corridor and just sank down with my back to the wall. I put my head between my knees and just let it all out. 

"Amelia," a deep voice said to me, I looked to see Draco taking a seat next to me. "Is everything okay?" It was obvious that he felt uncomfortable with emotions, "I'm fine Draco you can go back to whatever you are doing." Instead of walking away he pulled me close to him, "look I don't know why you are crying, but I can guarantee that whoever it is isn't worth it." I let myself fall into Draco's arms, "I just feel so alone sometimes," I looked up for his reaction,"is that pathetic?" Draco wiped the tears, "not at all." I felt warm in his arms, before I knew it he was leaning down to kiss me. I had never kissed anyone before but it felt incredible.I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer. He kept his arms tight around my waist making sure I didn't go anywhere. After what felt to be a minute we pulled apart, it me a few seconds to process what just happened. "I'm sorry Potter," Draco said, "I shouldn't have." I got up and straightened my skirt and sweater, "look it's okay but um maybe we shouldn't tell anyone about this, wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea." Draco got up and grabbed my hand, "would the wrong idea be so terrible?" My mind flashed to Harry and the Wesleys and I ripped my hand away, "yes it would be."