POV Draco;
29 of June, 1977
'You saw my heavy heart,
And you still choosed to love it'
I felt lost, I knew that in a short periode of time I needed to do what had to be done. The last attempts I made failed. And the option i was left with was something I wasn't sure I was able to do. I stood next to the cabinet as I patted the bird. I opened the door, and carefully sat it down. It gave me a last trusting look before I closed the door. As I opened it again, the bird laid there without a movement. I sighed and felt a pinch of gulit going trough my body. Just a stupid bird. But i couldn't shake it off, I got torn in all my feelings. I could feel my breaths getting heavyer and I longed for fresh air. I headed upstairs quiet. Everyone was sound asleep without a single worry. Unable to explain any of the feelings that went through my mind, i tried to brush them away, feelings was overrated. My dad's words went trough my head, 'feelings makes you weak Draco'.
As I walked out on the plating and went for the railing I felt tears forcing their way. I looked up to the clear starry night. In front of me I could scout over the schoolyard, the sky and everything between. I was brought back to the nights some weeks ago when the only thing I wanted to do was throwing myself from the tower. But then she came, like the sun in an otherwise dark and rainy day. She was a breath of fresh air, and something i'd never experienced before. I was fascinated by her. She did something to me that no one else did, and after years with Pansy it seemed like something no one could. She made him feel small, I had always felt confident around woman. But with her it was diffrent. I felt like the submissive. Maybe in my imagionation I could've had her, but reality hits like a soild rock into my thoughts. I was no good for her, I would only put her in danger. I had already made up my mind a long time ago, that who ever I was to end up with, was not for love. The person I actually loved I would care enough for to put as far away from me as possible. I leaned into the railing in danger to falling. But I didn't mind. Then I heard footsteps behind me. I reached for my wand, ready to react. No one was to see my like this. But as I turned I felt relived for a moment, she looked like the most innocent thing I had ever seen. «It's just me» she said as she smiled. Her smile looked so pure, and I could see her trying to calm me. I knew what I had to do, I needed to get her to hate me. My wand was pointed aganist her. «You need to be scared off me» I shouted but my body fought against me. My voice broke several times and her expression turned worried and nothing like scared. If anything she gave me the prettiest puppy eyes i'd even seen. She reached for my hand, but I needed to protect her, I needed her as far away from me as I could. I gathered my strength and placed the wand up against her throat. My hands was shaking. «Why-why aren't you scared off me?» I shouted and uanble to hold it back my voice broke and turned into sobbs. I was weak. «Draco.. I» She said as she placed her hand at my cheek. As she looked into my eyes I understood what they meant about being seen. The people I had laughed at for talking about meeting someone who sees you for the first time, really sees you anyway. For the first time in my life I was seen too. She placed her other hand on mine. I immediatly let go of my wand. I couldn't fight it, not today. I embraced her and for a moment I forgot how to stand on my own feet. We slided down the railing, the only thing that mattered at this point was her. She looked upon the sky like it was the most beautiful thing she had even seen, and as her hair got brushed by the wind I felt the same way. My very own starry sky. The words she said the first time we sat here ran through my head, 'Who ever said scattered things are not beautiful were terrible wrong'. I wanted to tell her everything, and I wanted her to tell me everything was going to alright. Then I wanted her to tell me that she would look at me with those same eyes when I had done what I had to do. But i didn't, and i couldn't tell her. Knowing what burden it was to carry that secret, I wasn't going to be selfish enough to bring it over on her too. But for now, the only thing I was going to worry about was holding her close enough, so that she wouldn't get cold. Just this one night.
