𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖 - Louis Partridge/ book 1, 2, & 3

40: Broke Easily

We broke easily. We always do. Like that time before we got back to fake dating. We fought, and then we were back and now we broke again.

Everything we've been through feels like nothing now. Does that mean we weren't really meant to be? I mean, I never expected us. But are we an accident of fate? How can we both walk away just like that?

Louis and me, our breakup, it's all so very high school. By that, I meant breaking up with him was ephemeral. Even the sharp stab of pain and betrayal is something I should hold on to and remember and cherish because it's my first actual breakup and I'm not saying this in a good way.

It's not like I thought we were getting married after college and raise our children with a pet hamster and a dog. We're still too young.

Maybe one day, I would be able to look back at all of this fondly.

That is what I keep telling myself, well I try to. So I would stop crying myself to sleep or crying until my eyes look like raisins. This sadness is all just in the beginning. It starts with Louis but I hope it doesn't end there too.

One thought in my mind that goes on a loop: I miss my parents. I wish they were here to hug me and tell me that I'll be alright. I wonder If I ever met my parents. What could they have done for me? Would we have those secret family traditions? If they were both here, I wish my mom would bring hot tea in my room and put my head on her lap as she whispers to my ear, it'll be okay, Sunny. You will be fine. And I would believe her, surely.

So far, I have a paper where Louis drew my face on during our biology class, a polaroid picture of us hugging in front of the Eiffel tower, and the movie stub from the first time we went to the movies as a couple.

Should I throw it away? Or are these worth to cherish?