This is a filler chapter and its a page from Zach pov from something he wrote
Jack was an asshole today. I just hate him sometimes, most times but something in me is refraining me from those feelings. He said he thinks he loves me but yet I just saw him and Jonah making out...maybe a little more. He got me this journal, just for me. Does that mean he cares? even if it's just in the slightest to me it means he cares. It means he thought about me even if it was just for a few moments as he probably grabbed the first book he saw. It's only been a few days but I've filled up half of the pages with my feelings for Jack, but today was hard I came to terms that he doesn't feel the same towards me. I was hurting all day and Daniel kept trying to get what was wrong out of me but after what happened last time I told someone I had feelings for Jack I've decided to just keep those feelings inside. I made a whole plan to fake being in love with him in order to survive but before I could barely even start my plan I saw something in him, he's not bad. He's scared. Jonah has him under lock and key. Jack said they killed someone but he's bluffing I know it because why would he just blurt it out if he really did that? sometimes he's not the smartest but really who would just blurt it out like that? Jonah probably told him to say that so we would be scared. To say I'm jealous of the other boys is an understatement, all I want is a safe haven until this nightmare ends but they are always with each other, I see them kissing, hugging, laughing, cuddling and that's what I want. They've got in so much trouble for that stuff but they still do it but if Jonah even tells Jack no jack stops immediately and doesn't do it again, he hasn't invited me back to his room in a few days and I can't figure out if it because of jonah or if hs sick of me. I heard the other boys earlier, murmuring about an escape, as much as I want out I probably won't try to escape because as much as I hate jack now I don't want to leave him here all alone with jonah or leave him at all. I keep getting lost in my daydreams about Jack, today I got so lost in my thoughts I resurfaced to jonah kissing my cheek I didn't even realize he had put me in his lap. He treats me different than the other boys, he tries to hurt me in secret he tells me I'm the good one he barely communicates with me when they are around its like he is trying to hide what he did to me but then at the same time make it very evident he is the one in power. Just a bit ago before we were to be locked in our rooms for the night I saw Corbyn smuggling cans of Jonah's beer from the fridge and I can feel it in my gut that something is going to happen soon, I can just feel it. It gets cold at night when we are locked in our rooms and I can hear cries from the outside of the walls, My room is right in between daniels and Corbyn's so I never really know whos crying but I assume both of them. I want to tell Corbyn I'm sorry but I just can't I feel like he wouldn't understand, I wish I never started that fight it's fucked everything up, and it's mostly my fault. Today though Jack acted just like he did at the beginning of all of this, crazy, mean, completely reliant on Jonah, and I'm suspicious, I know that's not jack, and I'm going to figure out what happened.
-Zach-
Yall want more oahes from zachs journal chapters? But next along with zach piv chapters
