The Lion's Cat | Completed

45 ⚡ New Moon

Chapter 45

My body is unmoving from Xavier's glowering gaze. His arms are crossed across his chest, and he can't stop clenching his jaw, probably holding back his anger. "Why?" he growls, "Why are you backing out now?" He points to the window beside us with the new moon high in the sky.

"I can't be your mate," I whisper and jump when he slams his hand on my desk, tears making his golden eyes shinier.

I know the situation is confusing and doesn't make any sense in such a short amount of time, but the moment the new moon came, negative thoughts started and still are messing up with my mind.

Things won't work out.

He will find his mate and leave me mateless. I can feel it.

"Alexa and all the fucking Gods up there don't play with me like that. I've been– We've been waiting for this moment for a month. What happened?" Xavier asks, pacing around the room with his hands tying and untying his dreads as if searching for a distraction to not lash out on me.

I have to sit down on the bed with the petals that Xavier surprised me moments before my change of thoughts came through. The room is illuminated by the candles lying around the floor and petals scattered on the floor and bed. He wanted our mating to be romantic, and I had to ruin it all with my negativity.

"I'm sorry," I quietly say as I lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees and my hands on my hair. My eyes stare at the floor when a pair of black sneakers come into view.

"Please, tell me what's on your mind?" he asks, crouching on the floor and wrapping his long fingers around my forearms.

I blink back tears. "I just– I can't risk being mateless. It's too much. I do not want to be a single mom. I don't think I'm even ready to be one, and I don't think I'll be good enough of a girlfriend. I'm a fucking housecat. A tiny useless cat. I'm ashamed of what I am, of what I'll be, and the thought of losing my soulmate is destroying me."

I'm crying by now. "I don't want my life to be so full of instability." My sniff fills the eternal silence. Why am I like this?

Now that I think about it, Nala should have reported me about the new moon effects, but she disappeared from my sight all day in the end, leaving me with unanswered questions.

"Please, look at me," Xavier asks, giving a gentle squeeze to my forearms.

I reluctantly straighten my back, dropping my hands on my lap as I look down at his saddened face. The glow in his eyes is still persistent. "Your life won't be filled with instability. I will be by your side no matter what. You might want to separate yourself from me, hate me, and cut me out of your life, but I will still look over you. Your whole face lights up when you're around kids, and you love being their encyclopedia, so trust me when I say that you'll be a great mother. Not perfect, but overall great. Relationships have their ups and downs. Hell, even Richard and Gabby still fight after years of being mated, but they overcome all their obstacles, and the same thing will happen to us. We will fight, cry, and laugh, and do all things that a couple goes through. The only difference is that instead of giving up, we will win all of our differences and grow stronger together, but you must have faith in the relationship, in yourself and me to do that."

He wipes the tears from my face as he takes a deep breath in. "You could be a Pomeranian dog for all I care, and I would still be here. I don't care about what you are. I only care about you. I'll never find someone like you. I love you Alexa, and I trust you, so please, I need you to do the same to me... Alright?"

I suck on my lower lip as I slowly nod. Who would have thought the person I used to call idiot twenty-four-seven would deliver such a heartwarming message.