Taylor Swift × Female Reader [] ONE-SHOTS [] BOOK 1 COMPLETE []

❕This Love: part 2 ❌✖️

(This one is from TAYLOR'S POV)

Months have passed and I still haven't seen you or spoken to you. You called but I didn't answer, I couldn't answer. I broke down in tears just seeing your name and face on my screen.

I was sat at my piano playing It's A Heartache. I dove into my music barely going into public only leaving to go to the studio. Some nights sleeping at the studio or I stayed at the studio not sleeping at all.

I felt something drip on my hand making me stop and look down realising I was crying. I inhaled deeply then looked up from the keys spotting a photo on the shelf of me and you.

I sighed standing up walking over to the frame tracing my finger over your face trying to remember what it felt like to have you close in my arms. The feeling of your lips on cheek was fading.

I felt conflicted, I was hurt and angry at the same time. Maybe the hurt was more than the anger but still I felt drained having to deal with the hutt and staying angry.

"It ain't right with love to share. When you find she doesn't care for you. It ain't wise to need someone. As much as I depended on you." I struggled to swallow past the lump in my throat as I sung. "Oh, it's a heartache. Nothing but a heartache. Hits you when it's too late. Hits you when you're down." I clenched my jaw slamming the frame face down so I couldn't see your beautiful face.

I walked back to my piano staring at the keys sighing I walked away to my kitchen looking for the ice cream. "She hid it here somewhere." Selena hid the ice cream because apparently it's not healthy to cry, eat ice cream and not leave your bed.

I grinned when I found it at the bottom of the freezer. "One Swift. Zero Gomez." I stood up when I turned around I saw Selena with her arms crossed over her chest and a scolding glare making me yelp and drop the ice cream.

"Fuck." I inhaled deeply to calm myself. "Don't do that." I mumbled picking up the ice cream. "I hid it for a reason." She said and I hummed. "Yes but I didn't stay in my bed so I may have ice cream." I said and she sighed walking to me grabbing a spoon of her own.

"Feeling any better?" She asked but I didn't answer I just turned my back on her wiping my tears away. I always kept it together but whenever she asked how I felt I broke down. "Hey it's okay." She put her hand on my shoulder but I groaned annoyed.

"No it's not." I stood back shrugging her hand off. "It's not okay!" I raised my voice making it crack as I fought my tears. "It's been nine months and still I can't function. I still cry and cry and cry. This is pathetic. I am pathetic. I can't believe I ever thought she'd feel the same. I mean look at her then look at me." I was yelling and sobbing.

Selena frowned at your words. "She said she loves you." I scoffed at her words. "Sje was just trying to help but she only wmade it worse." I clencehd my fists angrily. "I could never call her mine." I clenched my jaw everything I was bottling up came pouring out.

"I have to watch another man treat her right but not treat her right enough. I have to watch another man touch her but not touch her right. I have to watch another man look at her but not look at her right." I gripped onto the counter for support but when I realised. "I have to watch another man love her but not love her the right way."

I fell to the floor sobbing into my hands. I felt arms wrap around me and as much I appreciate Selena for being here she wasn't you. But you weren't here and she was. I leaned into her crying. I didn't know I could cry more after all this time.

I inhaled deeply staring at the screen showing the fans outside. "You okay?" My mom asked making me turn to her forcing a smile forcing the tears down. "Sure." But I knew and my mom knew I was far from okay.

"Just another night with my best fake smile." I said and my mom sighed pulling me into a hug. "When will the aching stop? I can't deal with much more of this." I whispered with a shaky breath. "I know huney and I'm sorry you have to go through this." She rubbed my back in an effort to comfort me. But once again as thankful as I was for my mom she wasn't you. But still you weren't here but she was.

"Taylor Swift." I heard my name making me inhale and exhale. "You'll be okay." My mom said but I just turned heading to the stage. "I may be okay but I'm not fine at all." I stepped onto the stage sitting down at the piano. I took a deep breath then started playing.

"I bet
This time of night you're still up
I bet
You're tired from a long hard week
I bet
You're sittin' in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet
Sometimes you wonder 'bout me."

It was all a blur but I knew silent tears were running down my cheeks. But I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to stop it hoping I'd run out of tears.

The performance, rumors and bullshit stories were all over the media. I just put my phone on silence turning onto my side staring at the messy but empty space beside me.

I had no tears left to cry but that didn't mean the pain stopped. Now my heart ached worse and my chest felt too heavy making breathing hard at times.

He looked over his shoulder at me. "Remeber we have that party." My fake boyfriend said standing up walking out of the room.

I got out of bed to take a shower and go to the party I got invited too as his plus one. It was a beach party but I didn't feel like swimming I'd most likely just drink. It was a private part of the beach and it was a little open deck house type of thing.

When me and my fake boyfriend got there we were late but someone immediately handed us drinks. I just smiled taking the drink greeting everyone.

The time went by quick and I was the only one left standing. Everyone has gone home besides the majority that passed out on the sand and at the door. I was on the deck picking up the empty bottles.

I only ended up drinking two beers before losing interest. I lost my plus one after a half an hour but it didn't matter he wasn't you. So I just sat at the chairs listening to everyone laughing and talking.

I decided on cleaning up since I had no special place to be. I didn't want to struggle with him again. Not many people knows this but he wasn't the nicest guy and apparently "dating" me was a way to hide that side.

And I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts afraid I'd think or hope about the possibility of you actually loving me back.

When I walked to the beach to pick up the towels I saw my plus one passed out on the chairs. I rolled my eyes I couldn't hope or wish enough to have you here. I looked out into the sea the high tides crawling closer and closer to the shore with a gentle rumbling in the sky.

I sighed grabbing his arm dragging him to the deck along with his best friends who got just as smashed as him in the first hour of being here. I didn't even think about making them comfortable so I just threw the towels over them.

I continued picking up the bottles, and plastic cups and cigarette butts going back to the closed off deck to throw everything away. I sighed looking around seeing people out for the count all over the place. On the bar, the tables, the chairs, the floor, the sand one of them ontop of the roof holding a beer in his hand that's dangling off the rood. I'm not even asking.

It started with gentle raindrops and luckily didn't grow harder. When I saw the couple on the floor. The girlfriend was drunk and only wanted cuddles so her almost drunk boyfriend agreed. As weird as it was I immediately thought off you.

I wanted to be the one to hold you, I wanted to be the one to call you mine, I wanted to be the one to go to parties with you, I wanted to be the one to hug and kiss you, I wanted to be the one to take you home, I wanted to be the one to spoil you and love you everyday.

I threw the stuffed black bag next to the garbage bin dusting the sand off my hands. My hair was sticky and my skin clamy. As much as I loved the beach tonight it just didn't excite me. Nothing seemed to excite as easily as it did before.

(An: so I made a part 3)