Chasing The Moon

Chapter 12

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SPICE

Editor: N O

TW: panic attack

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My face went red and my stomach turned. I stared at him, trying to find a good response. It was a weird question after all. Of course, I wanted to, but just the thought made my heart race, and my nerves would probably go crazy. He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm just playing with you." He left down the hallway and I sighed. He shouldn't tease me like that. But, I feel like I just wasted an opportunity. It was probably gonna happen at some point, so I should get myself used to it. I nervously left the room and made my way in front of the bathroom door. Right before I knocked, the door opened and Tsukki stood there in front of me.

"Hey, Yamaguchi. I just forgot a tow- oh," he said and I looked down to avoid eye contact with him. My face was still a bright crimson and I fiddled with my hands. He smirked and made his way past me. "Just head on in, I'll get you some clothes."

I walked into the bathroom and stood in the middle of the floor, too anxious to do anything else. Tsukki came back in after a few seconds and locked the door behind him. He already had the shower running, and checked to make sure it was warm before taking his shirt off. Things were moving so fast. I started undressing too, trying not to look directly at him. I had seen Tsukki naked plenty of times during camps and after games, but this was different. Now, it was just the two of us.

We had finally both gotten completely undressed and he looked over at me. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I tried to hide them. I hated my anxiety, how I got stressed over something so small. I just wanted to spend time with my boyfriend for god's sake, why couldn't my body react how I wanted it to?

"Hey," Tsukki said, snapping me back into reality, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." I brought my eyes to his, admiring them for some time, and took a deep breath.

"No, I want to," I reassured, both him and myself. He gave me an uneasy look and turned away, stepping into the shower. His hand was stretched towards me, and I took it, getting in with him. The just barely too-hot water drenched my entire body, making me gasp for a second.

"Is it too hot?" he asked and I shook my head. He pulled the shower curtain to the side, the room darkened just a bit. It was still the same curtains as when we were kids. I'm a little surprised they were still in good condition, having been so many years ago since I've seen them. I looked over at Tsukki, whose hair was now flattened out, the water making his entire body glisten. He looked so incredibly attractive like this. I almost- no I did - feel insecure being in the same position as him like this. I wanted to cover up my body. I wanted to shove on more layers than I had before. Tsukki shouldn't see me like this, I didn't want him to have to. The most I could do was wrap my arms around my lower chest. It gave me a slight sense of security.

He must've been staring for a while, his eyes only moving with me. The feeling beat down on me in the most intimidating way, this only made me hold myself tighter. Tsukki brushed the hair that was falling in my face to the side, tucking it behind my ear.

"Can I wash your hair?" he asked and I nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. It was something so small, yet it made my heart flutter. He bent down to the side of the tub, squirted some shampoo into his hands, and rubbed them together. "Close your eyes."

I shut them, and he made his hands throughout my hair, being more gentle than I was expecting. His fingers brushed through every lock of my hair, I couldn't help but lean into his touch. He brushed the soap away from my eyes and switched places with me. He held his hand over my eyes, and I felt as the soap made its way down my body, down my stomach and legs, and he scrubbed his hands through my hair one last time before moving them. My eyes opened and made contact with his. He smiled, making blood rush to my face. It was so stupidly...