Chasing The Moon

Chapter 38

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Mmm angst 🤤

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I keep glancing at his wrists.

Every time I do, they look perfectly fine, but I always just expect to see something there. I keep fiddling with my fingers too, that evening replaying in my head.

Why is he not mad at me? He would have every right to be, yet he's been nice to me all day.

We both sat down in our usual seats at lunch, an uncomfortable silence washing over us. I picked at my food, my appetite was completely gone today.

"Have you been doing okay?" Kei asks quietly, just barely over the commotion in the lunchroom.

I frown, the temptation to tell him everything quickly went through my head, but I denied it.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"

He sighs, swirling his finger across the table.

"You just...haven't been talking to me or coming to school. It's...concerning. I just-"

"Don't be concerned about me," I interject, cutting him off, "it's not your problem."

Kei shifts in his seat, eyebrows scrunched together.

"Well I am your boyfriend, of course, I'm going to be worried," he mumbles, but I heard every word of it.

I know his intentions were best, but today I felt especially bitter.

"I get that, but I don't appreciate you trying to control what I'm doing. I shouldn't have to report to you every second of the day."

What am I saying? That's not what he's doing, right?

Kei looks at me in shock, placing his hands on the table, standing up, and leaning towards me.

"I'm not trying to control you Tadashi! I just want to know if you're okay!"

I stand up with him, our faces close, but the tension was keeping us apart.

I open my mouth to reply but was interrupted by a certain ginger bouncing over to us.

"Tsukishima and Yamaguchi fighting? That's a sight I didn't think I'd ever get to see," he snickers, standing at one end of the table.

Kei and I looked at each other before sitting back down, refusing to make eye contact. I was considering telling Hinata to go away, but I just don't have the energy right now.

"Anyway, Suga wants to talk to you after lunch Yamaguchi. Nice to have you back...again."

He smiled at me before walking off, his orange hair disappearing down the hallways.

For the rest of lunch Kei and I didn't say another word to each other, the risks of getting into another fight too high, and neither one of us wanted that.

We walked together everywhere we went, but we never said a word, the space between us felt off. Sugawara stopped me at the gym doors, laying a hand on my shoulder. Kei paused for a second before continuing on, not even a second glance at both of us.

Suga and I stopped at the water bottles, getting them out for everyone before practice.

"How are you doing, Yamaguchi? You keep disappearing on us," he says, setting a bottle holder on a bench.

"I'm fine."

I watch as Kageyama tosses a ball to Hinata, a straight spike on the ground echoing throughout the room. It seemed like everyone but me was fazed by it, as this was something new. They must have really been practicing because they both look even more connected than last time...

"Well, you know you can always talk to me, right? I'm not as good at advice as Daichi, but I like to think I'm much less intimidating," he chuckles, giving me one of his comforting closed-eyed smiles.

I nod slowly, giving my attention back to the room as Tanaka and Noya come running through. The atmosphere was the same as usual, but things feel weird.

I feel so out of place here.

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Kei stepped out of the gym room, pausing outside the door for me to finish up. I slipped on my jacket, giving a wave to everyone before jogging to meet up with him.

We silently walked down the steps, the darkness of the evening making our contentedness much too apparent.

I kicked rocks down the sidewalk, both of our hands tucked inside of our pockets. As we neared the split where we usually leave for our houses, Kei turned to me, setting a hand on my arm.

"Come over?"

I stared at the ground for a while before peeking back up at him through my eyelashes, giving out a loud sigh. I knew I would have to message my dad, plus I didn't want him to get angry at me, it was all just so frustrating.

"I don't know Kei..."

He wrapped his arms around me desperately, giving me kisses on my cheek, making me giggle.

"Please? I missed you," he whined, holding on to me tightly. I sighed again, relaxing into his touch.

"Okay okay. Let's go."

He grinned at me, taking my hand and leading me to his house. Something changed just then between us, but I couldn't stop the sickening feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. I watched as a little squirrel ran across the street, scurrying up a tree before disappearing into the branches.

-

"Is Akiteru not home?"

Kei shook his head, opening the door to his bedroom.

"No, he had some plans tonight."

I nodded, sitting down on his bed and peering around the room. It still looked the same as always, a dusty video game console, homework scattered across the desk, dinosaur figurines set up on a shelf. I respect his ability to not need a change in his life.

Kei sat next to me after setting his things down on his desk, tucking his legs up on the bed. We both smiled at each other, but it just felt awkward, I didn't know what to say to him.

After rubbing his neck, he finally spoke up.

"So...have you been doing alright? I know I asked this at lunch but the timing was probably off...I didn't mean to get mad at you."

I leaned backward on my hands, connecting lines across the beige roughness of the wall.

"I told you I was fine."

"It's just..." He started, but something in his voice caught my attention. I turned to him, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"Kei, why are you crying?"

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I've been wanting to write some angst between these two for so long now 🥱

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